I'm a young professional. I have a mortgage payment and child suppoort. I make enough money to just cover my monthly expenses.
She has just entered her field in a part-time position. She also has another part-time job that she works maybe once a week.
Now, when we first started dating we were both in better situations financially. After a week of dating, she lost her job. She found herself struggling. All she had was a part-time job that wasn't paying enough. I saw the struggle so I chipped in a little... buy gas, groceries on occassion. Months started to roll by and I didn't see her situation getting any better. I still stood by her side and supported her. I encouraged her to follow up on the job she currently has in her field. During this time, my finacial situation got worse. So, she recently got upset with me when I was unable to give her money. We've had this discussion and she thinks that I'm so wrong for not wanting to give her the money anymore.
2007-08-01 05:22:56 · 14 answers · asked by Prof. Kim 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It doesn't sound like your being stingy. You can only do what you can do. You have your own stuff to worry about. If she's capable of working than her financial situation is her problem. Your not married first of all second, you have to put your bills first. You can't take care of someone elses needs if you can't take care of your own. Just tell her you help her when you can and that's all you can do.
2007-08-01 05:29:01 · answer #1 · answered by EspysMom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She came to rely on you instead of becoming independant. She's in the wrong here. I think she should have been trying to find a better position every possible minute until she found one.
It sounds like she "kinda looked"
If she put in the right effort, ok, good for her. But you can't take food from your kids mouth or yours for any outside reason
2007-08-01 05:28:45 · answer #2 · answered by chaoss13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think she dosn't realize exactly what kind of situation u are in. mabey try and portray the whole thing to her in a different way.
you could get barbies and jelly beans and have one barbie be her and the other, you. then give each barbie 10 beans. every minute (representing a month), eat 2 beans from each pile-for rent, or somthing.
then give your selves 3 beans (for your paycheck)
continue this and then stop giving her 3 beans and give her 1 bean (for the parttime job) then you have to give out 4 beans from your pile cause she dosn't have enough left
ok, that may sound confusing, but it looks pretty kool in my head (mmmm..............jelly beans....)
good luck
oh, and your not being stingy
2007-08-01 05:33:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Erm... Sounds a bit like a spoilt brat to me. If you keep helping her she will keep expecting more. People like that always do. Run for the hills and don't look back.
If that's a bit extreme just tell her no to any more requests for money and see what happens to your relationship. You'll soon see her for who she is. I hope she realises how lucky shes been and pulls her finger out.
2007-08-01 05:29:56 · answer #4 · answered by lilmissdisorganised 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's using you now. She was grateful and you were being good in the beginning, but after about 2 weeks to a month without her making any changes, it seems like she is using you for your money.
2007-08-01 05:28:07 · answer #5 · answered by John S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you aren't responsible for your girlfriend's finances, and from what you say never "promised" her financial support.. you gave it when you were able.
that being said, she is being greedy, lazy in my opinion.
i'm sure there are full time jobs out there, and if she is able to work, perhaps she could get one!
take care of YOU... this isn't worth fighting about -- don't put up with it either!
2007-08-01 05:29:04 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's a gold-digger with no life ambition other than to live off someone else. Dump her and move on to someone with a more realistic view of life and responsibilities.
2007-08-01 05:26:30 · answer #7 · answered by lanagrl78 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not stingy. You got to let her understand that you are not financial independent and you too have financial demands to be met. And if you sacrifice your need to meet hers someone is still in death, and it's not her.
2007-08-01 05:35:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only reason she is with yuo is for the money, if it wasnt she would get a job and she wouldnt be getting mad at you!! time to do a little DUMPING of the garbage!!!
2007-08-01 05:28:19 · answer #9 · answered by Janie W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is your girlfriend not your child you are under no obligation to give her money and i say stop it right now!!! she is young and healthy and able to work. laziness and wanting something for nothing are not reasons to not work!!
2007-08-01 05:32:06 · answer #10 · answered by princess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋