Question for Jehovah's Witnesses...(especially elders if any are here)?

Question

Why, when you are confessing a sin....do the elders want to know every intimate detail of it????

I feel out of the truth about a year ago, due to extreme depression(marital problems) and got into trouble...the elders never bothered with me before but as soon as they found out I was having an affair, they were hunting me down....even to the point of blocking me in at my place of employment...

They set up a time for me to meet with them and I went...I mean, I had to face my mistake...but still in the throws of depression I could not answer their embarrassing questions and because I couldn't I was expelled...

I'm not bitter...I know that this is a loving arrangment and the congregation has to be kept clean...but I want to know why they must know every single intimate detail of my wrongdoing?

p.s. I am now separated from my husband(who knows and understands why I did what I did) and have left the other man even though I still love him....

one answer put me right at peace....

Linedancer~I have been in the truth for over 20 years...I'm more than capable of sifting through these answers. All I wanted to know was why. Of course the affair was going on for months..my husband suspected it only because I stopped begging him for sex. And the fact that I became pregnant.

My question wasn't to make people think the Witness's were harsh, I just wanted to know if I HAD to disclose extremely intimate details of my affair in order to come back.
And I wasn't practicing sin at the time of my disfellowshipping...

Answer 1

--GENERAL POSTING:

--As to knowing all the intimate dealings , that is really not necessary, if one has committed fornication,that is all that is needed to be known!
--If on the committee someone had an agenda other than helping the person & keeping the congregation clean , and they keep up that attitude , Jehovah will indeed deal with such a person or persons!

--ATTITUDES among elder bodies can vary even if they have not done anything wrong of a serious nature!

--ONE HAS to keep in mind that the organization of Jehovah's Witnesses is an imperfect organization at Bethel & any local congregation, and indeed has to answer to Jehovah for good or bad dealings!
--YET Jehovah & Christ are using it in its imperfect state, similarly as he once used the nation of Israel.
--IT CONTINUES to improve in its faithfulness to Jehovah and directing the arrangements of congregation matters, but it will take 1,000 years along with all of us!
--THE DOCTRINES are in tact , ,and the literature outstanding & stays faithful to the Bible which we are grateful for!

--MOST MISTAKES are made by imperfections!
--EVEN IN Jesus day the apostles showed lack of faith & other weaknesses, Please note how he spoke to them firmly for their weaknesses:
(Mark 16:9-18- Long version)“. . .After he rose early on the first day of the week he appeared first to Mary Mag′da·lene, from whom he had expelled seven demons. 10 She went and reported to those who had been with him, as they were mourning and weeping. 11 But they, when they heard he had come to life and had been viewed by her, did not believe. 12 Moreover, after these things he appeared in another form to two of them walking along, as they were going into the country; 13 and they came back and reported to the rest. Neither did they believe these. 14 But later he appeared to the eleven themselves as they were reclining at the table, and he reproached their lack of faith and hardheartedness, because they did not believe those who had beheld him now raised up from the dead.....

--INTERESTINLY he honored Mary M.for her faith and she was the one he used to inform everyone of his being restored to earthly life!

--INTERESTING EXPERIENCE to show ones faithfulness to Jehovah being the prime importance:
***A brother professing to be one with the heavenly hope, was disfellowshipped! He remained that way for 10 years doing his best to be faithful and never strayed.
--After the 10 years the elders found evidence that they failed to take into consideration, and he was reinstated!
--WHEN A MEMBER of the committee who disfellowshipped asked his forgiveness, he said to the brother,"I forgave you 10 years ago" So with a reason to forgive especially, after the apology-- this brother showed the qualities that helped him stay faithful!
--THERE ARE AT TIMES that elders show improprieties , and most are not done on purpose, but as you see how strongly Christ corrected his apostles, should help us to understand how God cares for his sheep!

--Being at the brunt of several serious injustices, over my wifes & I of 40 years each in the truth.
--We have learned not to depend too much on humans and fully rely on Jehovah, no matter what the situation is!
--A saying that has helped me over the years is "hope in everything and expect nothing"!

Answer 2

Hello,

I am not of that religion but in the RC church. Confessions must be private and confidential. A priest devulging a confession can be stripped of the right to say mass and excommunicated. If the ones you confess to must hear every intimate detail perhaps they get a thrill out of it and that would be sinful to God. Even if you do commit a serious sin in most other Christian churches you are still welcome to attend services just the same. Perhaps you also ought to read about the founder Russel and then think again about this religion.

That said, in the earlier church confessions used to be public. The problem was they turned
out to be a boasting contest rather than that of shame or a contrite heart:

Bless Lord and fellow Christians for I have sinned!

I Went to the Inn of the 9 Drawn Swords and swilled 10 tankars of ale.

I slew two men single handed with my sword when they dared challenge my honour!

The stupid old innkeeper fell asleep again so I sated my lust with his buxom pretty wife right in his own bed!

To recover next morning I drank several wine to clear my head!

On the way home I met the virtuous Pansy on her way to the convent to become a nun. We talked and drank and drank and talk whence I took her out to the fields and deflowered her in my drunken mood...

I guess enough was enough so the confessions went private.
Maybe the JW's should do the same since your sins are really between us and God anyway.

Cheers,

Michael

Answer 3

I wanted to let you know that I too had a very similar experience. I knew what I did was wrong, but felt completely violated when after meeting with the PO and 3 other elders had to recount every single detail of the affair. They wanted to know very, very intimate details! I confessed and agreed that I should be disfellowshipped, but I feel some of the questions they asked were borderline verbal porn for them, like they couldn't get enough. What purpose does it serve them to know what positions we used and whether or not we had oral, did we enjoy it, did we masturbate later thinking about each other, etc. I just want you to know I understand what you are going through and even though there will be JW on here saying to stay away from "apostates", I am here if you need someone to talk to. I wish I would have had someone.

Answer 4

LineDancer and achtung_heiss gave very good answers so there is no need for me to repeat what they have already stated.

"The Bible presents confession in a completely different manner. MOST IMPORTANT IS CONFESSION TO GOD. (Psalm 32:1-5) And the Christian disciple James wrote: "Is there anyone sick among you? Let him call the older men of the congregation to him, and let them pray over him, greasing him with oil in the name of Jehovah. Therefore openly confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may get healed."—James 5:14, 16.


The above is good to consider as well.

Answer 5

In my understanding of the scriptures from a Baptist point of view it is only God to whom you need to confess your sins, your elders can not forgive them so why tell them. You may need counciling in some area so it maybe good to have a close friend to confess and pray with. I do not think the sect you are involved with is the right one. We are to be christ like and show love and mercy and forgiveess one to the other.

Answer 6

When you are in someone else religion they make the rules. But to answer your question from a biblical stand point. We are to confess our sins to those that are spiritually strong. Pride usually keeps us from all the details. When we come clean, we can usually see better so as to not make that same error of judgment. Remember: it is not about the religion, it is about God. If you studied your bible on your own, and obeying the will of God, you need not fear that you need the religion. The religion is set up to you in line, and because you are not in line ,you are out of the religion. Read John 9 and study the blind man, when was he saved? In religion or out? Fear not you will be OK!!!

Answer 7

Dear,
I'm sorry but this is wrong of them. My wife was on and off again Jehovah's Witness, and I am opened minded and always willing to learn about other religions. However this is wrong. Just because they are more experienced in their denomination, does not give them the right to know every detail about your sins. They should have been understanding that you were going through alot and helped you rather than booting you. Bottom line is this, who do you really have to confess to-- a bunch of "elders" or God? God would certainly be more understanding and forgiving I'm sure.
Have faith in God, faith in these so called experts only led to disappointment, did it not?

Answer 8

Depression is rampant among JW's...I was one for over 20 years....I also had a committee meeting and they wanted to know the most intimate details...I will not disclose the nasty probing questions that I was asked, but you can Guess...

Hon you were not in ten TRUTH...Pray for God now that he has started to bring you out to complete his good work in you...I have been out of the Witnesses for 24 years now and my Christian life is awesome compared to what I was raised in.

you can e mail me...I am not an apostate because I love the lord and truly believe that you have been spiritually abused.....I will pray for you.




NGI1225....LOL WOW...Are those standard issue comittee meeting questions......They wanted to know whether I was sexually satisfied and how many times....Blows me away....creeps!







THA...that was a very honest and balanced reply...thank you....I respectfully disagree with part of it, but it is honest. no one is perfect.

Answer 9

When a baptized Witness meets with a committee of elders regarding his serious sin, there are three main goals of the elders:
1. Recovering the sinner
2. Protecting others
3. Cleaning the "congregation of God and Christ"

Clearly, accomplishing their assignment may require elders to ask for details which have not yet been volunteered. One's reluctance to share details is understandable and unsurprising to the elders. At times a thorny question is asked almost entirely for the sinner to reveal his FEELINGS about the incident rather than the incident itself.

Jehovah's Witnesses do not want to expel those who succumb to weakness, or unnecessarily embarrass them. The details of a particular committee meeting are known only by the attendees themselves; other elders are apprised merely of the generalities involved.

The overwhelming majority of Jehovah's Witness elders sincerely and prayerfully do their best to help the sinner, their particular congregation, and God's purposes. It is unfortunate when a few are perhaps overzealous in their assignments.

Learn more:
http://watchtower.org/e/19880415/article_01.htm
http://watchtower.org/e/19970101/article_01.htm

Answer 10

No offense, but I take what JW's OFFICIAL, PRINTED stand on how they view confessions at face value much more than some anonymous questioner who has already admitted to depression which has been known to cloud a person's judgement and objectivity.

Below is just one article out of many describing how confessions are generally viewed by JWs:



Confessions: A Meaningless Ritual?

"THE sacrament of confession has been practiced by Catholics for centuries. Yet, for many it is an empty routine.

...

"The Bible presents confession in a completely different manner. MOST IMPORTANT IS CONFESSION TO GOD. (Psalm 32:1-5) And the Christian disciple James wrote: "Is there anyone sick among you? Let him call the older men of the congregation to him, and let them pray over him, greasing him with oil in the name of Jehovah. Therefore openly confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may get healed."—James 5:14, 16.

"A Christian burdened with sin CAN (NOT MUST) call the congregation overseers, who CAN (NOT MUST) give personal and practical counsel from the Bible to help the wrongdoer abandon his sinful course. The overseers CAN (NOT MUST) give appropriate encouragement as they monitor the progress of the one who is ailing spiritually. What a contrast to the formalistic ritual of confession practiced by churches today! Fortified by the personal assistance of congregation elders, repentant wrongdoers can gain the relief that David felt, as he expressed in a psalm: "My sin I finally confessed to you, and my error I did not cover. I said: ‘I shall make confession over my transgressions to Jehovah.’ And you yourself pardoned the error of my sins."—Psalm 32:5.

Answer 11

Those who do not know the Bible will love this question. Since the asker is disfellowshiped, I cannot address her directly. What I can say is that we do not know all the details concerning why she was expelled. All we have is partial information from her. What we do know is that she did not have an overnight fling with someone outside of her marriage. This affair could have gone on for weeks if not months. That is practicing sin. The apostle John goes on to show: “Everyone who practices sin is also practicing lawlessness, and so sin is lawlessness. You know too that that one was made manifest to take away our sins, and there is no sin in him. Everyone remaining in union with him does not practice sin; no one that practices sin has either seen him or come to know him. Little children, let no one mislead you; he who carries on righteousness is righteous, just as that one is righteous. He who carries on sin originates with the Devil.” 1 John 3:4-8.

Although the asker was expelled, all hope is not lost. She can take the matter to Jehovah in prayer and ask Him to help her apply what her elders suggested that she work on. It is obvious that she fell. But she can get up if she wants to.

Those who have a misconception of Jehovah's Witnesses are more than likely rushing to judgment, condemning us for being harsh. However, they refuse to realize that our ways are based solidly on Bible principles, not on human reasoning.

Posting such a question will only mostly attract the wrong replies that will NOT help the asker.