A wedding etiquette question
I am standing in my sister in-laws wedding. We are doing all the normal, throwing her a bridal shower and bachelorette party and then standing in the wedding. My question is do I buy a gift for her for everything even though we are paying for all the parties. I don't mind buying gifts but I don't have a whole lot of money so do I not buy one or look cheap with a cheaper gift??
Thanks in advance and please serious answers only.
2007-08-01 05:06:47 · 13 answers · asked by ♥ Nikkee D ♥ 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
You are only required to buy one gift. I would buy one for the wedding and not for the showers. Or, if you would feel out of place doing this, Perhaps all of the bridesmaids go together on one gift for the shower so you won't have to spend much, maybe $5.00 each, and than you each can buy a seperate gift for the actual wedding. I just recently got married, and my bridesmaid asked me for the photos we had taken with our camera and combined them with the pictures she had taken and put them in an album for us. Was a very nice gift and much appreciated. Made it very nice to show off pictures until we get our professional ones back. Not very costly, and like i said, an awesome gift.
2007-08-01 16:06:07 · answer #1 · answered by pj 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think of it this way: having a dollar dance at a wedding, a wishing well, a money tree or whatever is participating in a tradition. Various cultures celebrate marriages in this way, and for many people it's part of the fun and certainly saves the trouble of a trip to Macys. Including in your invitation a request for cash or gifts is an issue of etiquette because you're implying, whether you mean to or not, that giving gifts (the gifts you prefer, obviously) is required of guests. This distinction may seem a little silly because so many people wouldn't dream of showing up for a wedding without a gift. But the gift is a way of celebrating, not a requirement. The invitation is meant as a honor to the recipient, a way of saying "I care enough about you to want you at my wedding." Diminishing that message with a cash grab is impolite. In the end, I think etiquette is mostly about demonstrating respect for people more than following some ridiculous list. Chewing with your mouth closed is polite because looking at half chewed food is disgusting, not because Miss Manners says it's polite. It's a way of respecting your dining companions. In short, traditions can be done in ways that are keeping with etiquette and in ways that aren't. Let's take something not at all about money: the whole garter toss. If the groom removes the garter, lines up his single friends, and tosses it over his shoulder, that's quite fine. On the other hand, the groom could stick his head up the bride's dress and root around while the groomsmen make a ruckus. Granny is embarrassed and the minister is blushing. The father of the bride wants to kick the groom in the pants. It's still "traditional," but the groom isn't demonstrating respect for his guests. So. I say both considerations are equal and in no way exclusive.
2016-05-19 23:44:42 · answer #2 · answered by tammi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never heard of gifts at a bachelorette party. I would get something small for the bridal shower, and then the real present for the wedding. You don't have to spend a whole lot of money on the parties.
2007-08-01 05:11:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
A shower gift is appropriate and do what you can afford but I've never heard of gifting for a bachelorette party. And you don't have to look cheap with your gift. You can find plenty of items they would need to start out with in small appliances like toasters, blenders that don't cost an arm and a leg. Or you can put together a basket full of kitchen must haves...measuring cups and spoons, utensils, towels, bottle openers, etc.
2007-08-01 06:55:38 · answer #4 · answered by dawnb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should still get her a gift for the shower and the wedding. It can be modest, in keeping with your budget - everyone will know that you are also chipping in for the parties, so they won't expect youto shell out for impressive gifts. Think small and meaningful.
The paraphenlia you buy for the bachelorette party (fake tiara/veil, feather boa, naughty games, etc) are your "gift" for that occasion, since it's not standard to give gifts for a bachelorette party.
2007-08-01 05:14:19 · answer #5 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am in agreement with your 2nd answer.
I think gift giving is getting out of hand. Not only the cost of what you have already mentioned but the cost of standing up in a wedding.
2007-08-01 05:53:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
customary to buy a gift at each of those... you can, depending on the sister-in-law, however get by much cheaper on the gift at the bachelorette party by getting something more like a gag give (edible panties, book on sex, something like that).
2007-08-01 05:32:41 · answer #7 · answered by IG64 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No gifts. Paying for the parties is gift enough.
2007-08-02 00:06:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I think you should buy her a gift, even if it's just a token one. It's something that (at least with our family and friends) that is a nice tradition.
2007-08-01 05:18:37 · answer #9 · answered by Monica 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I think you should get her a gift. It doesn't have to
be expensive, just a simple gift to express your
congratulations.
2007-08-01 05:47:15 · answer #10 · answered by caroline j 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋