I am standing in my sister in-laws wedding. We are doing all the normal, throwing her a bridal shower and bachelorette party and then standing in the wedding. My question is do I buy a gift for her for everything even though we are paying for all the parties. I don't mind buying gifts but I don't have a whole lot of money so do I not buy one or look cheap with a cheaper gift??
Thanks in advance and please serious answers only.
2007-08-01 05:06:05 · 23 answers · asked by ♥ Nikkee D ♥ 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Just another little note, she stood in my wedding and only got me a little something for my bachelorette party and nothing for our wedding. I didn't have a bridal shower. It didn't bother me either way that she didn't get us a gift, I am a giver not a taker. But I don't know if it would bother her if I only got her a wedding gift and not a shower gift. I am really liking that album idea though.
2007-08-01 05:21:33 · update #1
Yes, you really should still buy her a wedding present.
It doesn't have to be anything expensive.
What about if you take pictures before the wedding, like at her bridal shower & bachlorette party and then put them in an album for her.
That would be a wonderful present, a keepsake, but doesn't have to be expensive if you can print them out at home.
Good luck
And have fun :)
2007-08-01 05:11:21 · answer #1 · answered by MommaBear 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You really should give her a gift for each party and the wedding.
My roommate and some friends are going through the same thing right now and it's a pain b/c everyone is strapped for cash.
Try getting small things on the registry, if she's registered at some stores. Also, for the bachelorette party try to get some cheap gag gifts. They shouldn't be that expensive.
I would say that the wedding gift is the most important time to give a gift. I would go light on all of the other gifts and give something normally appropriate for the wedding.
2007-08-01 05:39:36 · answer #2 · answered by Not quite perfect 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Usually you give a gift at the bridal shower and the wedding. The bachelorette usually doesn't have gifts, you just pay whatever you drink/eat and your portion of the bride's tab.
The wedding gift is the "big" gift and the shower gifts are usually something small. For the shower get her a "date night" for her and the fiancee to use as a break from wedding planning. Include ingredients and kitchen supplies for a nice meal (example: pasta, spaghetti sauce, parmesan cheese, and a pasta ladle with gourmet coffee and some cookies for dessert). Perhaps add a certificate for a movie rental. Arrange them prettily in a nice pot or a collander like a gift basket. Another great shower gift that I usually give is to get the bride a set of towels and make a "towel cake". If she has registered for a specific color you can buy those or a nuetral color like white or tan always works. Usually I give at least two bath towels, two hand towels, and two wash cloths. Roll them up and tie with a ribbon, then stack them together to look like a wedding cake. (Both of those ideas would run you $30 or less)
For the actual wedding just give her a card with some cash and a heartfelt note in it if you like. Nobody will know how much you did (or didn't put) in the card. The bride probably understands your financial situation. Just be there to lend a helping hand when she needs you, that's the best gift of all.
2007-08-01 05:23:28 · answer #3 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you and some friends are throwing the parties suggest a hostess gift or gifts. Have everyone pitch in and get 1 or 2 items. Also, you do not need to have a gift for her at the bachelorette party, taking her out and covering her dinner is acceptable. As for the wedding gift a card with a gift card is appropriate it doesn't have to be a lot trust me as a Bride everything counts!
2007-08-01 05:22:21 · answer #4 · answered by texascutie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think of it this way: having a dollar dance at a wedding, a wishing well, a money tree or whatever is participating in a tradition. Various cultures celebrate marriages in this way, and for many people it's part of the fun and certainly saves the trouble of a trip to Macys. Including in your invitation a request for cash or gifts is an issue of etiquette because you're implying, whether you mean to or not, that giving gifts (the gifts you prefer, obviously) is required of guests. This distinction may seem a little silly because so many people wouldn't dream of showing up for a wedding without a gift. But the gift is a way of celebrating, not a requirement. The invitation is meant as a honor to the recipient, a way of saying "I care enough about you to want you at my wedding." Diminishing that message with a cash grab is impolite. In the end, I think etiquette is mostly about demonstrating respect for people more than following some ridiculous list. Chewing with your mouth closed is polite because looking at half chewed food is disgusting, not because Miss Manners says it's polite. It's a way of respecting your dining companions. In short, traditions can be done in ways that are keeping with etiquette and in ways that aren't. Let's take something not at all about money: the whole garter toss. If the groom removes the garter, lines up his single friends, and tosses it over his shoulder, that's quite fine. On the other hand, the groom could stick his head up the bride's dress and root around while the groomsmen make a ruckus. Granny is embarrassed and the minister is blushing. The father of the bride wants to kick the groom in the pants. It's still "traditional," but the groom isn't demonstrating respect for his guests. So. I say both considerations are equal and in no way exclusive.
2016-05-19 23:43:04 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't agree with people who say you "must" give a bachelorette party gift. Maybe if you split the cost with the rest of the girls if you take her out to dinner or split a limo for wherever you're going but I don't think you have to buy her an actual gift. As far as the showers and wedding, yes, you're family and you're also in the wedding. The gift you give to her for the shower doesn't have to be as extravagant as the wedding gift but you should still give both.
2007-08-01 05:27:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes you do have the buy a gift for the bridal shower and wedding itself. If she has a registry, get a gift off that. If everyone is pitching in for the parties equally, I'm guessing you can all pitch in for a gift too. By doing so, you all can get something a bigger gift.
2007-08-01 05:16:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It should be the thought that counts, not the monetary value.
I think your sister in law and brother will understand if you get a small wedding gift. You're paying for the parties, so do what you can without going overboard. You are giving them the gift of being in their wedding party too, with all the time and effort that entails.
As another thought... if you are on a tight budget, you could tell them that you cannot afford a gift, but your contribution to the parties will be your gift to them. They should understand.
2007-08-01 05:16:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You do not need to buy gifts for everything. Your gifts to her, as her wedding party, as the 'parties' and 'showers.' If it were me, I would want to buy her something, but I would suggest going together with the other girls in the wedding and doing something as a group. This could be a few little things like lingerie, a wedding-day-emergency kit (nail polish remover, hair spray, etc...you can make it yourself or find one at Target), or maybe a gift certificate for a spa for her nails or hair or even a massage before the wedding. Depending how many girls, maybe a couple's massage for the two.
2007-08-01 05:20:13 · answer #9 · answered by ellie_jb 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have been in several weddings and still bought the couple a gift. Usually if you are in a wedding you are close to either the bride or groom. Even though you spent money on being in the wedding, you agreed to that when saying yes to be in the wedding. I think it would be nice to get them something, even if it is small.
On the other hand, no one is required to get a gift but it is a nice gesture.
2007-08-01 05:17:32 · answer #10 · answered by lisadaisy165 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋