My friend won't stop talking about her dead father.?

Question

Hi... I was just wondering my one of my girlfriends won't stop talking about her dead father, is it denial? She doesn't use past tence like "He was a doctor" or "He loved vacations", she will say "My Dad? He's a doctor." or "My dad loves vacations!" She brings him up in every sentence, and it happened 1 year ago, that he died. Does she need to see somebody? What's wrong exactly?

Answer 1

If she was close to him a year isnt long to grieve. If you are truly her friend you will be patient with her. When she says things about him you could add, "Yes, he was a good man". It might help her get over it if she has someone else commenting with her. Nothing elaborate just kind of like your agreeing with her.

Answer 2

Yes she is in Denial. It happens quite often. My grandfather passed away almost 6 years ago. And I still catch myself once in a while saying "he owns a oil company" or "wow, grandad loves those". It's somewhat normal for a while. But, if she is so obsessed that she is using it in nearly every sentence then maybe you should get her some help. Be her friend, let her lay on your shoulder and cry. There is nothing better to cure the loss of a loved one then a friend that will listen. As I said, it's been almost 6 years since my grandfather passed, and I still get upset thinking about certain things. Of course, every girl thinks her daddy/grandfather/uncles whatever, are the greatest men in the world. My grandfather would do anything for anyone, and I miss him dearly. But it sounds like your friend does need someone to talk to about it. I know a year seems like a long time since his death, but, sometimes it takes people a little longer to actually accept that they are gone. Try talking to her, and see if she will let you know whats going on in her head and her heart.

Answer 3

Yes, your friend is probably in denial stage of facing her father's death. Talking about her dad is one way of keeping her dad's memory alive. Try to understand why she is acting like that. Maybe she is very close to her father that she couldn't easily accept what happened. Talk to her. The best way she could cope up with this situation is to talk about it openly. Also, ask her family to give their full support on her. Lastly, let her talk to the people who experienced the same grief so that she would understand that what happened was just normal and that she is not alone.
Visit http://www.selfhealingexpressions.com for coping for emotional stresses.

Answer 4

My dad died 2 1/2 years ago, and sometimes I slip up and forget to use past tence. Sometimes its just eaasier on the heart. She is not crazy she is just hurt. Be patient with her. It will get easier with time.

Answer 5

this is actually pretty normal. it could be her way of dealing with the situation because no matter how long ago it happened losing someone especially as close as a father is never easy. Although she might be having more difficulty than usual probably because of the relationship between her and her father. You should really talk to her about it and assure her that its ok and she has you.

Answer 6

I would think this is a normal stage of dealing with death. It's a hard place to be in.

I wouldnt say anything, obviously she feels a certain closeness to you, and feel comfortable talking to you about it. Telling her you think she needs help might make her feel uneasy talking to you about it, therefore, she will keep it bottled in. This is when "seeing somebody" would come into play.

You are her somebody. Talking about her father, whether in the past or present, is normal.

Now if she was talking to HIM, i would be concerned, but not because she is talking to you about him.

Answer 7

If your friend is acknowledging the fact that her father has passed, but is still talking about him in present tense, it's possible that speaking of him like this, to her, is comforting.

However, if she is denying his death altogether, it might be time to seek help. Talk to her mother or otherwise guardian first, and it she is an adult, suggest to her that she see a counselor for post traumatic stress and denial symptoms.

Answer 8

It's not denial. I've lost somebody and sometimes it just helps when you don't use past tense. Talking about him is defintally a great way to deal with things and present tense helps you remember him and that's just her way with dealing with this. She just might not feel comfortable using past tense and that's okay.

Just be supportive and listen to her.

Answer 9

Some people mourn in diffrent ways when my friend commited sucide I often refered to him as if was still alive just be there for your friend through this rough times it may take another year or two before she completly can get over his death

Answer 10

She is grieving and does not know what to do. I would think that she does need to see someone - sounds like she may be close to an emotional breakdown (and yes, denial)