My boyfriend gets upset when I went to visit my family..what should I do?

Question

I have been dating my boyfriend for 10 months now. I had recently moved in with him and everything is OK, but I have noticed that every time that I go visit my sister and nieces, he gets upset. When I back home he had an attitude or just don't talk to me. I talked to him about it and he said that he feels that I he is not my priority. I told him that is wrong to think that way and that he was important in my life but my family has a place He does not have friends to hang out with (male or female) He is not close to his brother and call his mother once a week since I am being dating him. Last Saturday I went again to visit my family and he got upset again. I don't really know who to handle this situation. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

It's wrong to cut yourself off from those who love you. Family is important, and they need to stay in your life. When you get a significant other, they should be included, as well. The two families should be blended.
Your relationship with your boyfriend, while very important, is not suppose to be the only important relationship you have. You are both suppose to have family and friends, and you are both suppose to share those relationships with each other. Take him with you the next time you visit your family, and try to get him to take you to visit with his family.
If he refuses to do this, maybe you should find a new boyfriend. One who is less controlling and less pouty.

Answer 2

If I were you, do not stay with him. This guy is only going to end up resulting to violence, or even worse. This is a true story I am about to tell you.

I watched an episode of unsolved mysteries once where they did a segment on a woman who was with a jealouse and insecure man who was always trying to isolate her from being with family and friends. He kepy calling her from her workplace and made unreasonable demands. She moved out eventually and he began stalking her,so she got a restraining order against him. He was undettered by that and was arrested and was not afraid of the threat of getting jail time. Then one morning, her mother called the pharmacy which she worked in and discovered she never showed up for work. She called her home number and no answer. The mother frantically rushed to her daughters house and saw a bloody knife through a window, then discovered her lying dead from repeated stab wounds. The guy is still out there on the run to this day from what I believe, which has been almost 10 years.

So my whole point is that, leave the guy while it is still safe before it is too late.

Answer 3

You could possibly tell him that , "i love him very much, and always will. But I love my family too, and I want to make time for both of you since I don't see them as much."
Could you take him with you to visit you're family members, he won't get as mad at you, and will get to know you're family members better. Also, it really could be as simply that he misses/wishes that he had a better relationship with HIS family, and if that is true, or if you have suspicions about it, then I would defiantly talk to him about that! As I'm sure you know, relationships are great if their is truth, love, and respect. So make sure that you are truth full with him, and he will return the favor. So, once again, talk to him, ask him why it is bothering him so much, and if he is reluctant, suggest possibilities to make him more comfortable with an arrangement.
Good luck! I hope that it all works out for the best!

Answer 4

You should consider moving out. His controlling behavior is only going to get worse. He is seeking to isolate you and make you dependent upon him. His lack of friends and poor relationship with his family should be a big red flag that he's got some serious emotional problems. You can't fix it.

Many years ago I had a good friend who got married right after high school. Her husband became very controlling and within a short time she was not allowed to visit with friends or family. I remember going over to her house after we had spoken on the phone and she invited me over, and her husband wouldn't allow her to answer the door. Eventually, he started beating her. They divorced within a few years, but the experience ruined her ability to have a decent relationship with anyone else. Her self-esteem was destroyed.

Answer 5

It just sounds like he might be jealous either because he is not close with his own family or because you leave him and he gets bored. Try making new friends as a couple and try starting up conversations with couples when you go out. Try going places that he likes to go so that maybe he can make some more friends.. maybe its just me but I feel kinda sorry for him. I think you should try to help him make some friends, but don't let him know about it or he will either get embarrased or angry.

Answer 6

You shouldn't stay with someone who refuses to understand the importance of family. What happens when you start your own family? Does he then go hang out with his friends so they don't feel that they aren't priority? If he's just plain ignorant of it, then try to talk to him. Your family SHOULD be a priority. If he doesn't budge, leave him.

Answer 7

Don't stop seeing your family. If anything spend a little more time with them. I could be way off base right now and so wrong but it sounds to me as if he is trying to isolate you from your family.

There is a possibility that your boyfriend could be abusive to you. I guess there is always that possibility but it is a trait among abusive men to isolate women from their families and friends.

It gives them a lot of power because 1) they feel like you are alive for them and 2) you have nowhere to turn when you need help (so your stuck with the guy).

Like I said before I could be wrong about your situation but please please just be careful and stay aware of the situation. And please prepare yourself to leave this guy if you need to. No one is worth losing your family, or your own life for.

Answer 8

First of all ... move out! Shacking up never works (although it is cheaper). He is trying to isolate you from your family (and probably friends). Don't burn your bridges.

Don't let him play these games with you! Who likes walking around on egg shells for spending a little time with your family? I bet he doesn't like visiting them with you either.

Love is unlimited. I bet if you married him and had a baby, he would be jealous of the baby.

Answer 9

I think that if he has a problem with you going to see your loved ones, I think that the relationship is not going to work out. I think that you should have a sit down talk and tell him that you love him and that you are my number one but I need ot see my family. If he doesnt understand that then you need to move on. Family is something you can not live without.

Answer 10

This is going to sound extreme, but I really think you should leave this relationship. If you think you can handle it without being persuaded not to see your family, then ignore his immaturity and continue. He is not your husband, and has no right to whine about your seeing your family. Perhaps once in awhile you should take him with you, but you have a right to see them alone. I see him becoming controlling and abusive in the future. The first step is alienating you from loved ones.