Wedding lists - good or bad?

Question

We're going to a wedding this weekend - it's a very good friend of mine from school days. They sent us an e-mail detailing their wedding list info.
Are we the only people in the world who don't like wedding lists?!
I appreciate that times have changed; people live together before marriage (we did) and so already have the traditional wedding gifts of household items, but I don't like being told what to get!
To me, it takes away my right to give a personal present to the couple which they will always remember is from me/us.
Therefore, I haven't even looked at the list...I have gone and bought a little gift which is unique.
We didn't have a wedding list, and we got loads of great stuff 'cos people had to think. We got loads of lovely candles, and somebody got us a wicker basket filled with bottles of wine! The vino is long gone but we use the basket all the time. One person's present was to take us to the airport and bring us back - Wedding lists NO!!

Answer 1

At my wedding we had a registry list, but a lot of people went and bought gifts on their own. I think the list is for those people who don't want to, or can't think of what to get you. Most people will not go by the list. We got a lot of unique things as well, and I was happy with the outcome.

Answer 2

i've been to two weddings this year, both had wedding lists and I ignored both of them!! If you're comfortable buying from the list then do, if not then don't. lists from places like John Lewis I find terrible as they gifts are all so expensive, and if you want to spend,say, £20 on the couple you end up buying something like a bloody teatowel it's ridiculous. Needless to say I bought nothing from that list.
I do agree though that the gifts you buy might not be what the couple wanted (I knew both couples very well and know what I bought was appropriate and something they each liked). E.g. if you don't know someone well and are invited to their wedding, do you still make a decision as to what you buy them? I'd rather buy a gift that someone is going to like and use than something that's going to be chucked in the drawer and forgotten about!

Answer 3

I like them for other people's weddings, yes, sometimes it is hard to know what to buy a couple and unless you have a really inspired idea then it can be hard to know what to get that would be useful or wanted. For my wedding though we don't have a list, we have lived together for nearly 3 years and really do not need anything. Our wedding is being attended by family and a few close friends, they have asked us what we would like for our wedding gift and we have said we just want them to come and enjoy the day, not to bring presents because them attending would be our gift. A couple of people have been really insistent that they MUST buy us something, in that case I have said towels, they are not too expensive and you can never too many of them. We are grateful for anything that people give us, but are really saying to people that their attendance is more important to us than a gift.

Answer 4

I'll take my thumbs-down for this one, but personally, I LIKE the idea of the registry/list!!

It all depends on how you look at them....They are certainly not a mandated shopping list, but rather, they're a starting point to help me pick exactly the right gift.

For one, I know that if I decide to purchase from the list, I am buying the couple something that they want/need/will use. After all, they picked it out!! (Please note, a proper registry should contain items at all price points, to accommodate anyone's budget).

If, however, I want to give a personal gift, that's also more than acceptable! However, again, looking at their registry/list gives me an idea of their decorating tastes (contemporary, traditional, etc.), and the color scheme that they've chosen in their new home. This way, if I DO choose a personal gift, I can incorporate their tastes/preferences into whatever I choose.

I know a lot of people disagree with this thought process, but personally, I'd rather have an idea of what the couple would like, versus just buying them something they may or may not need/want/use.

Answer 5

Well we have a wedding list that we set up at debenhams as people kept asking where is the list, we don't want anything just for people to share our special day.

Yes there are a few things we need but I always feel that the best gifts are the ones where you walk past an item and think to yourself they would love that!!

I hate the thought of people knowing what I have brought them before the day as it ruins the surprise.

A lot of people would like money or holiday vouchers but how can you ask for money! Many people don't like to give cash as they don't know what it's going to be used for they like to know what they have brought will remind you of them (even if it is just a teatowel).

If you know this person well then you will know what to buy maybe they created the list like my self just to stop eveyone asking!!!!!

Answer 6

wedding lists are ok, some people aren't as good at buying presents than others and they would rather get something the couple want than give them something they will never use. You dont have to buy off the wedding list if you dont want to. When I got married we told everyone who wanted to buy gifts to give us vouchers and we bought what we wanted, then in each thank you card we told people what we got with their vouchers and it worked well. Also a wedding is a very expensive day and everyone gets a free slap up meal and wine so why shouldnt the couple get something back eh?

Answer 7

I dated my wife for 14 months. Then I popped the question. We had a short, 6 week engagement and tied the knot. Our wedding was, I guess, medium small... 130 people attended out 235 who were invited. I assure you, that there's no way we could've had the wedding that we had were it not for thinking *ahead* of time. I planned our wedding, my wife planned our honeymoon. So I was already writing down who we wanted as guests, which band to hire, which venue, the pastor, the cake, rings, etc. There's just so much to do! Any ground work you can do ahead of time is a great foundation. Happy researching to you! * * *

Answer 8

Hi there

I still buy gifts, even if there is a list or wishing well in place, I found with a very old dear friend that my gift did make a difference to her as the years rolled by it became a valued treasure

Good for you
Have a great week, enjoy the wedding

Answer 9

I think they're vile! I never buy off wedding lists - a present is a present, not a demand, and the fact that most people don't need household items any more as they have already set up home makes them even more cheeky- at least in the past you were contributing to what a couple needed rather than just whatever new stuff took their fancy. And I don't think you're alone at all, me and a lot of my friends have been to many weddings in the past few years, and I've never heard anyone have anything good to say about wedding lists. Some people use them because they're too lazy to shop and think or they've left it too late, but they still ***** about them!Hx

Answer 10

Wedding lists are great if guests are clueless as to what to buy the couple but if you have a special gift in mind then go for it. It is not set in stone that the gift should be from the list and will be a lovely surprise if something different.
It is there if you choose to use it but any gift will surely be gratefully accepted.