does anyone have any tips or advice on how to overcome social anziety?

Question

itr affects every area of my life, at college, at home, with friends with family, at work, even things like going to the hairdressers cause me a lot of social anxiety, ive got an appointment booked at the doctors next tuesday for depression and i am already nervous about it, can anyone give me any advice to help or overcome social anxiety?

Answer 1

This is a modern issue, and we all get it. Many conceal it well, but al of us are annoyed by the crowding that our world burdens us with.
Aside from getting rid of a few people, little can be done. But try relaxation and a smile, it soon distracts the mind. You may have a thyroid issue here too, talk to your medical GP. Tranquilisers ARE NOT an answer!

Answer 2

You have had some great answers on here and I would say that Zed has summed it up in a nut shell. Most of us experience social anxiety at some stage - sometimes, it is simply a lack of confidence, a fear or losing control and just plain old nerves!. I really understand how you feel - I have experienced this. I find that cutting out all cafeen has helped and as others have suggested, visualising yourself in a crowd being the confident person you want to be. Tell yourself, what is the worst thing that can happen to you? - the answer is nothing is going to happen to you - if you need to take five minutes out for recompose yourself, you can always do that almost anywhere - including the hairdressers. When you have to go somewhere like the hairdressers think about the positive things your visit will achieve like - your new haircut! Please stop worrying - you are normal - did you know that anxiety is so common at the hairdressers that hairdressers are actually trained in how to deal with it - the reason you feel like this in certain situations is that you are out of control - you have to sit there for an hour or so and your hair is in their hands so to speak!. I would urge you NOT to take anti-depressents which is probably what the doctor may prescribe - it's a short term solution that will give you other side affects - face your fears head on - accept that you will have more confident days than others. Rather than take medication ask your doc for a referral to a Congnitive behavioural specialist (CBT) - they will teach you to re-programme your mind to look at things with a different perspective. Good luck and don't forget, you are not alone - this affects girls, boys men and women of all ages!

Answer 3

I suffer from generalized social anxiety myself, and have found several coping mechanisms to help.

My most effective, yet offbeat mechanism, is to assign myself a role to play for something. As if I was an actor, I can then redirect my anxiety towards how well I play the role vs. what I'm actually doing. Another is to truly acknowledge to yourself that whatever the worst that can happen is, that it is not really all that bad. Also going and doing things with people, like a boyfriend/girlfriend etc helps. I never could figure out what type of haircut I liked, so I made a deal with the wife that I choose her hair cut, and she chooses mine. Since I'm giving up control over something to gain control over something else, it was a decision that helped me overcome anxiety. If she doesn't like how my hair looks, then it's her fault, not mine :)

Answer 4

Deep breathes, positive reinforcement work for me. Try not to avoid the things/situations that make you feel anxious, as this will make things worse over time.

Try and work out what negative outcome you are expecting from a particular situation, this will be at the root of your anxiety.

Then, if you challenge the situations that make you feel anxious, tackle them head on, you will quickly realise that the negative outcome(s) you where expecting don't materialise, this will dramatically improve your anxiety over time. Positive reinforcement!

I would also recommend you see a counsellor to work through the issues that caused the anxiety in the first place.

Hope it goes well.

Answer 5

the doctor will probably try and give you pills or something but i would avoid them if you can. I suffer with the same problem and i force myself to go out with friends, new people, activities at the gym and i have even got a new job.. i find it helps increase my confidence and i become more comfortable and less anxious about stuff. So battle through and be strong. Try not to even think about your anxiety because that attention is what makes it worse. Good luck

Answer 6

weather this will help you or not I don't know.
I was incredible shy when i was at school and was out cast because of it.
when i left school I did performing arts and although at the time I thought OH my god what have I done it Was the best thing that could have possible happened to me! I had to do so many things I never wanted to do like stair in to peoples eyes, touch people and make things up on the spot. I'm not saying change your course but you could try joining a drama grope scary thought I know but try it if you can do that you can cope with any social event. avoid drugs they just stop you from coping naturally

Answer 7

Spend about 30 minutes quietly alone each day when you can close your eyes and relax undisturbed. Start thinking about a time when you felt really good. Picture it vividly in your head. Concentrate on the feelings of contentment and relaxation you had at the time. Then imagine yourself in a situation in public but instead of thinking you will be anxious, concentrate on the good feelings you have and picture yourself being relaxed and enjoying being wherever you are. See how people react positively to you being there and concentrate on how relaxed and confident that makes you feel. Feel the relaxation in your body as you concentrate on how happy you are to be wherever it is.

I did this and after a couple of weeks I started to think more positively and really noticed a difference.

Answer 8

Ive had this for years

The way I overcome it is to be as different as possible, I adopt different characters and accents that I hide behind, I try to be as amusing as possible(this doesnt always work) I try to remember things as topics for conversation as otherwise I go blank.

This quote helped me-

"Confidence is just a big trick everyone is playing on each other"

So just play the game

Another thing that helped me is a teacher I had who said to me once

"No one cares, no one really gives a $hit", so whatever happens in this one small moment will be infinitely forgotten. So Sod IT, who cares-be silly, express yourself, do whatever it takes, be yourself, dont be yourself, no one cares!

Answer 9

their is a self help book n cognitive therapy for this which is one of the most affective therapies www.constablerobinson.com

overcoming social anxiety and shyness Gillian butler

Answer 10

Josh I wish I knew I can't talk on the phone leave the house.God bless you If you have any odea please email me