people too close to you?

Question

I have a part time job in a busy night club and as much as I can put up with this job, I hate the crowds of people! They come so close to you and you can feel frustrated sometimes. Since doing this job, I get frustrated if people are too close to me e.g in super markets, crowded shops etc. I find myself feeling angry and have to get away! I don't think I am having panic attacks as it just makes me annoyed, not scared. Does anyone know if this is a mental problem I have developed? If so, does anybody else experience anything like this? I'm beginning to really worry because I don't like myself very much for being this way!

Answer 1

It can be really overwhelming to have people in your personal space that you haven't given permission to be there. A night club isn't the most comfortable place as you have rowdy drunk people bumping into you, it can be quite irritating and it makes you start to hate people!

Unfortunately there's absolutely nothing you can do to stop the people getting too close. Give it a bit longer and you might start to get used to it, try to take a break away from people whenever possible. And reassure yourself that nothing bad is happening! It's just uncomfortable, more than threatening.

I work on an enquiries desk and it can get really too much in busy times when you have people in your face constantly and some of them are not nice people! But I always take my breaks by myself, it might seem anti-social but I like having time to myself and this is the only time I get. You have to look after yourself after all.

I think it's just low grade anxiety, you might be able to talk yourself out of it by rationally thinking that these people mean you no harm. Try to relax and breathe deeply (you told me to do that and I am finding it very useful!) Good luck.

Answer 2

I'm the same way! I hate it when people are in my bubble. My bubble is very precious to me, and when people who I'm not comfortable with or don't know get in it, I get frustrated and annoyed! And at work when people come to me to ask for something, and I'm reading the paper to see if I have it, they'll try and get right up on me to read the paper in my lap. So annoying! I think you're normal. At least to me you sound normal. In supermarkets though, to get angry is a bit much. I get a little annoyed and move away, but I won't get angry... most of the time at least,lol. It's not a mental problem, it's just who you are. Not everyone is a cuddly touchy type of person, and some hold their bubble of space more dear to them then others. I am just like you. People should respect each others bubble! There are few acceptions to this; aka a boyfriend or my grandmother. Stuff like that. But this is the US, and statistically speaking, we value our bubble of space more than most countries. I learned that in my Human Geography class :) very interesting

Answer 3

Everyone has a different concept of physical space depending on your culture and how you grew up. Either way, your sense of comfort regarding space will probably not change and no, it does not suggest a mental problem. A lot of people don't like crowds and feel claustrophobic in them. Perhaps you should find a job where your not dealing with mobs of people bumping into you. But I don't think there is anything wrong with you. I don't really like crowds either - crowds are hot, smelly, rowdy, confining, claustrophobic, etc.

Answer 4

I hate being around crowds, but I do not panic. I just hate dealing with other people's negative attributes. I couldn't say whether or not it's because of a mental problem or not, speaking with a professional would help you determine this. I don't really like myself for not liking most other people either, but I'm doing my best to give people the benefit of the doubt. I haven't quite acheived this yet, but I'm trying.

Thanks for your comment to my question! My condition is much more mild than what you have described (it was horrible when I was younger) and I can't imagine it being disruptive to my ability to function! Good luck, thanks again for your comment!

Answer 5

You sound exactly like me, I hate it when people invade my personal space. I cringe when I'm having a conversation with someone (family the exception - just about) and they keep trying to touch me. Supermarkets and crowded spaces are a particular nightmare. People dithering about in front of me, and just generally getting in my way, I get really annoyed, and just have to leave the place. My husband refuses to shop with me because of this! don't worry too much about this, its not a mental problem. Luckily having chronic insomnia - Tescos 24 hours stores are a godsend. No crowds at 2am!

Answer 6

Generally, people do not like their personal space invaded, or their view blocked. Adverts on trains are displayed to give people something to look at rather than make eyes contacts.
It does sound like a mental trauma is developing, and I would seek another job myself, as it could be a function of lack of job satisfaction.

Answer 7

Omigosh i completely know how u feel. Sometimes i get so angry when pple are in my personal space that i yell at them. Unfortunately i live in south africa so every time i open my mouth pple think i'm a racist. Its totally not that. I just don't like people touching me. I don't even like to be hugged by family or friends. Its just part of your personality. I wouldn't worry about it.

Answer 8

i dunt want people too close to me, in particular those i dunt like. I think it is natural. It just we are not used to intimacy. Maybe due to our childhood being not hugged by our parents quite often. I think this kind of defense is not bad at all. At least sometimes you can keep away from the theives.

Answer 9

i dont, always like people too close to me and it can bring on fear and fear can make you be defensive and being defensive can make you react to think.
I used to get hit alot as a kid so I don,t like people in my face

Answer 10

We all have a bubble around us. If it is violated, so are we as well. Feel ok about it. It is perfectly normal.