his wife was gone and now shes back and he stills wants to come by and talk from time to time. ive explained to him i cant see him until he is over with with her. he said he plans to leave her whether we be together or not. but in the mean time he wants to come by and say hello and talk for a while and leave. we are not intimate anymore since she is in the house with him. i have feelings for him that are very deep and its hard to let go. we work together so its hard to stay away from him. i cant change jobs at this time. he keeps coming at me to talk to him as if we are friends or something. i cant look at him that way. i dont think he wants me to date anyone else while he is trying to leave her and get his own place. i need help in learning to say no and stick to it. it could takes months for him to leave and get on his feet if at all. so how do i let him go and stick to it. its very hard cause i have feeling for him. but i know its wrong. plz no nasty remarks.
2007-07-31 20:11:01 · 12 answers · asked by eaglestraces123 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you got the right idea but since you already have deep feelings I don't know what to tell you. You need to explain to him how your feelings work most guys really don't understand how emotional it is to have feelings but not be able to express them.
2007-07-31 20:16:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, get on the new job search, ASAP. If you are serious about getting him out of your life, one of you has to change where you work.... and I assume you can't easily fire him or make him leave.
Second, give him a written letter, telling him that it is over between you, and you want nothing more to do with him. No friendship, no "just stopped by to chat," no nada. Conclude by asking him to respect your wishes, and wish him well. If he ignores you, ask for the support and backing of the other people you work with, to encourage him to move on. If that isn't working, then take out a restraining order with the courts. Do what you have to; there may be short-term pain, but in the long run it's better than having your emotions jerked around by a married guy (who may, or may not ultimately leave his wife).
Third, in the future, avoid married men, and those men whom you work with. Pretend that they don't exist, and fill your spare time with guys from places other than work.
Hope this helps.
2007-07-31 20:33:39 · answer #2 · answered by Marc M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think it is hard now, just wait. You have to wait and to stick to it for the simple fact that there is nothing there to prove that he may leave his wife. I have been here and done this. My best friend was marrried. We got involved and it took him 6 mos to leave his wife and then he ended up bouncing between the two of us for 2 yrs. If he is the right one and it is meant to work out , then wait. If you don't you will get hurt at some point. Start seeing someone else and try to move on. If he is the right one, he will come back at the right time with his stuff straightened out.
2007-07-31 20:24:04 · answer #3 · answered by busyliz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to tell you what you don't really want to hear but the truth hurts. This guy is never going to leave his wife for you and even if he did, if it was that easy, what's stopping him from leaving you when the next good looking girl comes along.
You deserve better than him - cut all ties with him now and get on with your life without him
2007-07-31 20:15:35 · answer #4 · answered by ChocLover 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Come on! Put the shoe on the other foot........how would you feel if you were the wife in this situation? Get out and stay out!
It's just reality...he can string you along for some time while having his home life...until he gets caught by his wife. Will that be you someday?
2007-07-31 20:17:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
first how are you doing ?
ok this is really bad for you b/c you love this so called man but baby this so called man don't love you this so called man can't love a dog no but seriously if he really really loved you he wood not had let his wife back in the house this so called man well he don't respect his wife and you know what he don't respect you and never well but you can have some respect for your slef now it well not be easy but well be ok in the long run.
good luck to you.
P.S.
if you ever have the need to talk to some one look me up i'am on yahoo ok?
2007-07-31 20:42:46 · answer #6 · answered by Edward R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i bet if you hold out he'll leave his wife quicker. but ask yourself if she was gone when you met and he doesn't want her, why has he had her back ? . just be careful he doesn't want his cake and eat it by having wife and other woman.
also i bet his wife wouldn't be very happy if she found out these visits, even if your not intimate know, she'd find it hard to believe, because you were before. wait till he's free to date.
good luck.
2007-07-31 20:19:41 · answer #7 · answered by RACHEL B 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If he cheated on his wife, what makes you thing he will be faithful to you or anyone else? That is the question I would ask myself.
Good luck!
2007-07-31 20:18:14 · answer #8 · answered by claire 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that you like him, but until he gets his life in order, you would prefer if he left you alone. Just tell him that you do not want to be involved in any drama. Tell him that when it is over, to give you a call.
2007-07-31 20:17:38 · answer #9 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
how could you be have a relationship with a married man!! you have no respect for the other woman, how woud you feel if someone was cheating with your husband and you knew nothing about it until much later on!!
you two derserve each other, you really do!!
2007-07-31 20:18:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋