i want to tell my boyfriend that i'm not happy in our relationship but i dont want to end it. he gets really jealous and selfish at times and i can't stand it. i love him though and no matter how much he hurts me i always love him. i want to tell him this but i dont want him to get mean or angry about it because whenever i bring something like this up he does. what would be some ways to tell him this without making it sound like i'm breaking up with him and how to keep him calm while i'm talking? thanks!
2007-07-31 19:57:35 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
yea i am more mature then him everyone knows it, that bothers him to. he's almost 3 years older then me and i'm the mature one...
2007-07-31 20:08:20 · update #1
You need to tell him the plain, simple facts.
Tell him you can't live with a person that is jealous and selfish. Those are ugly qualities in a person and you don't like having them in your life.
Do this in a nice, peaceful conversation that might start off with talking about the direction you both think you're headed in. Like if you've discussed marriage, tell him you love him, but can't see marrying him unless he can become better in those areas.
You might want to have this conversation on the phone. All you can do is be honest and address the problems that are very real to you and important to you.
If he dismisses your concerns as not worth talking about, or he gets angry at you for bringing these things up, then there's your answer. You have to end it, because he doesn't value you enough to even discuss these problems.
If he loves you as much as you love him, he would be willing to talk about it and agree to work on it.
Be strong and firm and don't let your emotions win this battle. It's the rest of your life you could be talking about here. Value it. No one else will as much as you.
2007-07-31 20:11:05 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, if he gets angry, mad or jealous a lot.. that in itself should be a "red flag" you jsut have to really tell yourself it is going to happen and go thru with it.. no matter how upset he gets, you have to let hinm know how you feel. If it is a recurring problem, it may never be any different and you may have to end it... i dated a guy like that.. jealous, got mad if i said the smallest thinghe didnt like, etc and i ended up breaking up with him.. he said he was going to kill himself etc.. it was all a mind game... needless to say... it sucked cuz we were neighbors and he worked the same place i do (thankfully in a whole other part of my work) and for literally two years after he told HORRIBLE lies to other people and co workers about me and would watch me everytime i came or went from my apt... i am just wondering what would have happend if i let it go on how it was... Really think about if this is how you want to be. If he is always going to be jealous and selfish and mad about things.... tell him how you feel and that he needs to change that behavior .... if he really loves you and is serious he will change or get help
2007-08-01 03:06:02 · answer #2 · answered by amandica82 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has an anger management problem, and you really need to leave him. He should want to make you happy, not get mad when you try to talk to him. Guys like that get worse as they get older. You should get out before that happens, and find a nice guy that will respect you.
2007-08-01 03:07:48 · answer #3 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might not make it with this guy, sorry but you sound more mature than him and I think you feel that way. Call him while your out of town and say, I can't do it, I need more maturity.
2007-08-01 03:04:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you love this boy-man sooo much that you feel that you owe him all your happiness, even at the risk of losing it. i believe he should be a friend to you, not a controller. a friend levels with you and is always ready to listen nomatter what before they react, then a friend should be someone you level with and one who'll accept you and your other friends, not someone to fear.(am assuming that he's not reacting to incidents of unfaithfulness which might be justified!!) how he feels is upon him to take care of, not for you. we all have different feelings, and jealousy is one of them and how he handles it depicts how mature he is. i think he should grow up and you're far ahead of him, so sorry to say but love is not only once, get a mature guy to befriend who can be atrue friend. it sounds like the kind of man who dont deserve to sit down with you to discuss it. am here wondering that you say you donwanna break-up but you sound like you really do-youre just afraid to face it/or is it him. if you stick in it foreer thats what to expect to face in a lifetime......judgements and more judgements and believe me youll always be justifying every move you make and he'll make you to feel guilty for being yourself. be brave and hapy to be you, and get a life that you deserve!!
2007-08-01 03:45:03 · answer #5 · answered by lucinda 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all...If your boyfriend gets mad because you try talking to him he doesn't sound much like a gentlemen at all...You should be able to tell him something with out him geting mad at you...But you must defitenly to talk him in person do not do it over the phone....And just tell him to wait till you are finished talking and tell him....
2007-08-01 03:03:30 · answer #6 · answered by the_jewish_kid75 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask yourself if you really want to be in this relationship for you or for him?... it sounds to me like you do everything to make him happy but when it comes to you .. your still worryed about him... think first if everything your doing is going to be worth it... maybe you should find some one you could communicate better with because this is a big thing in a relationship... you cant always have him thinkin because he gets mad or angery in a conversation you start that everything will be okay... find some one that really listens to what you have to say and think ... it'll be wroth it i promise
2007-08-01 03:05:55 · answer #7 · answered by ":) 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats not gonna happen if breaking up was easy to do everybody would do it. its hard on both involved and you have to try and spare the others feelings and thats not always easy to do. just tell him how you feel and hope for the best.
2007-08-01 03:01:53 · answer #8 · answered by bubba 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why do you want to be with someone that hurs you.this is not love.
2007-08-01 03:00:37 · answer #9 · answered by firewall 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋