Any one have experience with the phrase "Absence makes the heart grow fonder?"?

Question

there is this girl i've been with for over 2 years, and we are exclusive, but i feel like she is taking me for granted, though she calls me everyday 3-4 times, we dont go out that much and are only intimate like once every 4-6 weeks. She is the one that always calls me, because she has a busy schedule with school, her kids, work, and her household duties. I'm always there for her when she calls, but i just feel like i'm not appreciated. I'm just wondering about the idea of not being as available like the quote above, and if absence does make the heart grow fonder? But if i do that it means i have to ignore her calls. is that a good idea? i'm just tired being in this rutt, it doesnt seem to be moving anywhere. I've been romantic before, sent her romantic text messages, etc. Any Advice? Should i cut down talking to her, and not pick up. but then i dont want her to get upset either. She may think i'm trying to break up which i'm not. please help.

Answer 1

Have you ever tried talking to her about this? If not, I'd suggest you try talking to her before you possibly piss her off by ignoring calls. It might just be a lack of communication and she doesn't know she's making you feel this way. I have a couple of kids, and other repsonsibilities so it's VERY easy to lose sight of my boyfriend. It's possible that while she's very busy, you're not. From personal experience, don't take it personal, but do try talking to her. Kids are a big responsibility and on top of that a job and maintaining a household. Believe me it's hard. I'm sure she isn't aware that she isn't giving you as much attention as you'd like. My boyfriend and I had this problem, we discussed it and we try to work on it so that he feels his needs are being met as well. It's all about communication. So, try talking to her first. If that doesn't help,,then by all means move on to plan B. Maybe make her feel a little less secure and she'll be more attentive toward you : )

Answer 2

While it might be true that absence makes the heard grow fonder, intentional absence makes dishonest hearts and love fall flat on its face.

If she catches ever a word of you intentionally trying not to speak of her, she IS going to take it the wrong way, no matter what. I mean, switch places- how would it seem if you kept calling her, and she suddenly didn't answer as much anymore? Would you take that wrongly? Probably- you'd want to have a 'talk' with her.

Why not just cut to the chase and have the talk with her now? Sit her down face to face and say that you don't feel appreciated, and that something doesn't feel right in the relationship. And as much as I don't like to say, obviously if she doesn't respect your request/plea for help, you probably shouldn't be in a relationship with her. However, she might not even know that you feel this way! She could assume you're fine the way it is, and that nothing is currently wrong with you guys.

Hopefully though she'll understand and know that you feel this way, and try to strive to make it better.

As an edit: I don't fully agree with Some Girl. While going out with some guy friends might make you feel better, how would that solve much of anything with the way your girlfriend's treating you? Yeah, you'll be spending less time talking with her, but that might not mean she's going to hang over your every word when you do talk- she could just be the same way she was before. I still say that you should just talk to her about it and let her know how you're feeling, and she'll either improve or she won't, and you won't sit there wondering if she's going to appreciate you more later.

Answer 3

If I were you, I wouldn't be as available, but at the same time I would tell her ahead of time. "If you call me later, I might be out with the guys." This accomplishes two goals. First it lets you go out and have fun with friends, and second it makes you less available to her.

I don't think it sounds like she's taking advantage of you, but if you feel that she is then that's the thought that matters. Going out will help you feel like less of a sap because you might be gone while she calls. But at the same time, by letting her know ahead of time, then you're not playing games with her or ignoring your calls.

Answer 4

Talk to her ..im pretty sure u have time to call her and im pretty sure she will answer because I believe then she'd know she has you as support ...as an escape. Maybe plan something my relationship is really hard because my father is not understanding and so my babe understands that and when we are busy...hmm he doesnt really call me as much as I call him and it affects me because I feel im just there soemtimes even though I know its not like that he just thinks im busy...I believe she can answer your ??'s everything has a solution and hopefully its not having to be immature enough to ignore your babe;) good luck ps: (that saying just builds to the fact that many people think a relationship is a game ..i dont think it is i think its support, love and understanding)

Answer 5

some will take a man's kindness for granted. You may be doing yourself a favor if you just slow it right down or even bring it to a stop. You need to talk to her if you are more attached than she is, you need to find this out. You may have been wasting your time. BE REAL TO YOURSELF FIRST.
Good Luck

Answer 6

so ur sayin shes a bit clingy?? no, dont suddenly stop tlkin to her, she'll think u wanna break up wit her. jus say u want some space...she mite b a little hurt but she'll probly agree and respect wat u need. then later, call her and c how shes doin. it doesnt really make the heart grow fonder but its a way to cure a clingy gf/bf

Answer 7

I think it's time to move on DUDE!.. Get a life!
This girlfriend of yours... that's just the way she is and always will be! Would you like to be married to someone like her; think about it! She would be the same way if she was your wife... maybe worse because then you'd be too close and in the way of her style!?

Answer 8

Just be honest with her.Tell her exactly how you feel.Dont be too agressive though.Bring the conversation on slowly.A grown needs sex more that once a month.Tell her that.