any funny jokes?

Answer 1

A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring. "Yeah, right!" she says. A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring as usual. The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep. Muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of ribbon and ties it carefully around the dog's testicles. Sure enough, the dog stops snoring. The woman is amazed! Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep, and begins snoring loudly. The woman thinks that maybe the ribbon will work on him. So she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of ribbon, and ties it around her husband's testicles. Amazingly, it also works on him! The woman sleeps soundly. He wakes from a drunken stupor and stumbles into the bathroom. As he stands in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees the blue ribbon attached to his privates. He is very confused, and as he walks back into the bedroom, he sees a red ribbon attached to his dog's testicles. He shakes his head and looks at the dog and says, "I don't know where we were or what we did, but, by God, we got first and second place!"


A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks now." He looks at her and says, "Fix the lights now? Does it look like I have GE written on my forehead? I don't think so." "Fine." Then the wife asks, "Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right." To which he replied, "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have Westinghouse written on my forehead? I don't think so." "Fine," she says, "then could you at least fix the steps to the front door? They are about to break." "I'm not a carpenter and I don't want to fix steps!" He says, "Does it look like I have Ace Hardware written on my forehead? I don't think so. I've had enough of this... I'm going to the bar!!!" So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple of hours. He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home. As he walks into the house, he notices that the steps are already fixed. As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working. As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed. "Honey," he asks, "how'd all this get fixed?" She said, "Well, when you left I sat outside and cried. Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him. He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was either go to bed with him or bake a cake." He said, "So what kind of cake did you bake?" She replied, "Helloooo... do you see Betty Crocker written on my forehead? I don't think so!"

Answer 2

Well Behaved Students

The fourth-grade teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes....

When she returned, she found the children in perfect order. Everybody was sitting absolutely quiet.

She was shocked and stunned and said, "I've never seen anything like this before. This is wonderful. But, please tell me, what came over all of you? Why are you so well behaved and quiet?"

Finally, after much urging, little Sally spoke up and said, "Well, one time you said that if you ever came back and found us quiet, you would drop dead."

Answer 3

In Math class. Teacher: "Little Johnny, there are three birds on the tree, you shoot one of them, how many are there left?"
Little Johnny: "None, madam. The remaining birds would fly away after the gun shot noise" Teacher: "That`s a zero for you.

The answer was two, but I like the way you think" Little Johnny is furious and humiliated. The next day. Little Johnny: "Madam I have a question for you.

Three woman are having ice cream, one is biting it, the second is licking it, and the third is sucking it.

Which of the three is married?" Teacher: "Huh...the third one?"

Little Johnny: "No madam, it`s the one with the wedding ring, but I like the way you think."

Answer 4

A wealthy man had an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he promised to pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have
the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, writing "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.

One day about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. She said, "Honey, you received a very strange post card today.""Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. The wife handed him the card and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and collapsed.On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without! Request bread..."

Answer 5

ahahah...
your attitude is so funny!
whats the use of your friends and your daily experiences?!!!

Answer 6

había una vez un maicito que se fue a tomar el sol y luego despues de un rato PLOP! se convirtio en POP CORN
ja ja ja ja ja ja ja ja ja ja ja ja ja ja ja ja ja ja ja ja ja ja ja ja ja ja


is fun isnt it?

Answer 7

http://www.glumbert.com/media/tonguedance

Answer 8

one white horse fell in the mud