Only ethical/moral answers please..........?

Question

Ethically and morally speaking. How do you feel about spanking children for serious wrong doings? I am a Christian and I know what the Bible says, but I only want to hear what you heart is telling you and why you feel the way you do. Deal?

Note : I don't have kids and we never will. I just want to hear what the world really thinks about it these days.

Answer 1

Don't believe in it.
The Bible says, "Spare the rod, spoil the child". It is not speaking of a literal rod. The rod is the rod of correction as in discipline as in if you don't discipline your child you spoil her/him.

Discipline is derived from the word disciple as in Jesus and the 12 as in friend. Not that I believe a parent should be a child's friend but you know...
The Bible also says "Provoke ye not ye children to wrath"
Ephesians 6:4.

Those who condone spanking are damaged and perpetuate the cycle of abuse. Hitting your child to "correct" them sends the message that in order to get what you want you must be physically aggressive. Kids learn what they live.

I notice that most of the MEN that are condoning corporal punishment have mentioned not leaving marks. If you believe in spanking so strongly why are you worried about leaving marks. You can always justify the marks by saying the kid really ,really misbehaved.

Answer 2

You MUST instill discipline early. If you teach them the way they should go, they will never stray from it.

Parents need to take the time with their kids to establish the parameters for behavior. There are too many parents out there that just make babies, then leave them to the schools to instill morality and ethics... and that does NOT work. Values must be learned at home.

Kids start understanding the meaning of disciplinary measures at about 4... before that it will be a matter of artful wrangling on the part of the parents.
If "NO"does not work, then a quick swat will generally get their attention and install a "circuit breaker" for that kind of behavior... it is quick and effective. It does not have to be hard, just a little sting.
As the kids grow older they will continue to push boundaries, which is normal, but the parents must continue to set limits and maintain them. The dumber kids really do need a spank to instill the correct behaviors if the usual time-outs and lectures do not work.
The more the kids get the idea that there are no repercussions for bad behavior, the tougher it will be to instill discipline. That is why we have an epidemic of hoodlum kids these days.

What is worse:
The occasional swat and other basic measures to discipline a kid... or the threat of such to keep them in line...
or allowing them to set their own limits (none) until they have to be thrown in jail? Or get pregnant? Or have to be put into a drug treatment program?

Answer 3

I am 38 and was spanked until I was around 8 or 9. At the time I was against it as I was the one getting spanked. Even can recall nights of a rear so sore I was unable to sit.

But today, as an adult, I can justify and rationally say I'd take it all again to turn out as I did. I am a business owner, multiple degrees, jack of many trades, fit into society well without any issues, not even traffic tickets. I am not a drunk nor drink nor visit bars. Well rounded, clean member of society due to the punishments I received as a child so I would not make larger mistakes as an adult.

Spanking seems wrong to those that only see the child's tears or the paint they feel at that moment of spanking. But a parents job is not to be friends, buddies, or anything besides a teacher. A teacher that is responsible for producing a well educated, well rounded, society fitting individual that will perform within society without problems. That is the whole purpose of being a parent.

Now, if you are spanking out of your own anger, or giving more than 1 swat per year in age (as in 8 swats for 8 yr old, 6 for 6, etc) then you are over doing it. A stiff hand, a wood board or a wooden spoon is fine in my book. As long as it is the same instrument from start to finish over all the years. Sure it instills fear of the object by the child, but that is the purpose, to teach the child actions have consequences. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. Be aware and not choose the bad ones. For a spanking is far less severe than say 12 yrs in jail for armed robbery, right?

Answer 4

I am opposed to it except in more extreme cases, but not so vehemently opposed that I can't accept others choosing to do so.

I have heard many violent people laugh at what they see as lax discipline, saying that their parents would have hit them for the conduct in question. well, maybe they should realize that that might have something to do with why they themselves turned out to have violent tempers.

I don't believe that it's advisable to hit to show that hitting's wrong. A big authority figure striking you is traumatic. Lesser punishments, one less violent and oppressive, should always be tried first.

Yes, many kind, loving people were spanked as children, but that doesn't change the basic message of violence against loved ones as a penalty.

The less painful the spanking is, the more I can accept it. A very minor tap on the wrist is hard to argue against. Anything that causes actual pain is, in my opinion, excessive.

The key to discipline is certainty. If it's only sometimes enforced and then only half heartedly then it's not going to work. the kid won't learn to take it seriously. some parents then insist that nothing else works so they have to spank. Often it's just that they were too lazy to consistently apply a more rational punishment.

I think back on times I did wrong. It was the disapproval and disappointment my parents expressed that made a far more lasting sense of right and wrong than any physical reaction.

Answer 5

I love my children. They are grown with children of their own now. They have turned out to be loving, thoughtful adults who all three, love God.

I believe in spanking as long as it is not done in anger. My spankings were always their choice because I had already told them that a spanking would happen if they disobeyed.

When they were small and disobeyed, they were spanked according to the offense. A serious offense would be crossing the street when they were old enough to play in the front yard but not old enough to cross the street without permission. Or if they did something dangerous that they had been told not to do.

When they were older and did something wrong, I talked to them about it and/or grounded them. This would be if they got into trouble at school or did something to hurt or disrespect someone else.

After they were teenagers, an example would be; when my youngest son had purchased a truck and it was in our name, and he didn't make the payment, then we took the keys, and parked it until he came up with the payment.

Answer 6

Spanking is a two-edged sword. On one hand you get your child's immediate attention, and it may result in rapid behavior change.

On the other, it teaches might makes right. If it is done in haste and anger, it can be done with too great a force and too impulsively, when more thoughtful parenting would have done better. But if you wait until you're calm to inflict pain on your child, then you are calmly turning yourself into a sadist, which is not exactly a good personal goal.

If there were NO OTHER WAY to correct a serious behavior problem, then I would of course not give up on spanking. However, I'm not convinced that, if a parent set as a priority putting creative parenting skills and proper timing into addressing the behavioral problem(s), then there would never arise a need to spank a child. That is, of course, a hypothesis, not a conclusion. But because it avoids the problems cited above, it's a hypothesis worth pursuing.

^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^

Answer 7

There may be occasions when spanking is the right thing to do. I once saw a friend spank her 4 yr old for the first time when she warned him to stay out of the street and he laughed and ran into the street. The spanking wasn't excessive and it may have had the right effect, though I am not sure.

I do feel strongly that many spankings are more because the parent is angry than because the parent is trying to teach the child an important lesson.

By the way, my father spanked me many, many times. Most people would say I "turned out all right". But he spanked me enough that I grew to fear him, and I stopped loving him. I know several friends who were never spanked as a child, and they turned out all right too. More importantly, they have loving relationships with their parents.

Answer 8

Children who grow up in violent house holds have tendencies towards violence in later life, whether minimal or not. There are better solutions towards discipline that are better for both the child and the parent. Exhibiting patience and talking with your child about how and why they went wrong helps teach them patience as well. Children can understand empathy and are willing to do the right thing but when you spank they it's telling them that you are the one loosing control.

Discipline shouldn't be about consequences, that if you do this , that will happen. It should be about understanding your faults and learning to better yourself. If you look at spanking in the most basic form, it's simply a person hitting someone smaller and weaker then themselves and that's, well, horrible. The truth is if you can't talk to your child as a kid, how will you survive when they're teens.

Answer 9

Well, there is a difference between spanking and beating. I spanked my son for setting the carpet on fire, I also spanked him when he climbed the tree and I had to call the fire department to get him out. My daughters were not so bad, I really don't remember really ever spanking them. I think back to my son I was a young mother, and I wish maybe I would have handled things different. But I had friends that spanked their children all the time and they didn't act any better, than mine.
I did do allot of time outs, and took things away from them. and I really think they turned out quite well, remember that is a mother talking lol

Answer 10

If my mom or dad told me to do something and I didn't do it, or if I smarted off or disrespected them, I'd get spanked. It hurts and it works. Time outs and taking stuff away does not work.

There's nothing wrong with spanking. I spank my kids when they're out of line and it works. They know I still love them, but they also know they'd better behave.

Now there's a difference between spanking and beating. I would never hit my children in the face, or spank them with a belt or stick. Just one or two hard smacks on the *** with my bare hand does the trick.