she said that she wants to live with him, because it's quieter there. She has two other siblings, ages 5,and 7, and a stepfather, she says that they get on her nerves. Should I let her go live with him? He is a good father. He comes and gets her every other weekend. My husband feels as though she is too young to say where she wants to live, and she should wait until she is a little older. Her father has even move to a bigger apartment in the same complex to accomodate her. He had a one bedroom. Now he has moved into a two bedroom. He's currently paying welfare back for all the years that he did not pay child support. Do you think that he is doing this so that he can say that she is living with him now, so therefore he should not have to pay? Need serious opinions, please.
2007-07-31 15:51:36 · 10 answers · asked by Tonya W 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My ex is not paying me the support money it goes to welfare. I am not on welfare. I am married, to just living with her stepfather.
2007-07-31 16:09:36 · update #1
Once your daughter reached the age of 13, she had a say in who she lives with. Also she is 16 and 2 yrs away from being LEGAL age to live on her own...if her stepfather has not LEGALLY Adopted her, then he has little say in the matter.
I have a suspison that there is more to her moving out and it has nothing to do with her siblings.
Let her go and let her know that your door is always open.
2007-07-31 19:00:55 · answer #1 · answered by HistoryMom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the eyes of the law, your daughter is old enough and capable of deciding which parent she wants to live with. That being said sometimes kids want to move for the wrong reasons, but it doesn't seem this is the case with her. If she has become unhappy because of the hectic schedule in her home now, it does seem reasonable to give her a shot at her dads.
As for the child support, if he is paying back support then he will continue to pay that until he's done. But you won't get any new support that he should be paying you for her now. Understand?
I can't say for sure, but i wouldn't imagine if he is a decent father that he would try to "make" her live there just to stop paying, it would be foolish considering he is essentially paying you back for all the years he should have been paying half of the cost of care for her.
I think it would be worth it for her to give it a try. Especially since he has already made accommodations and such. It could work as long as you and her father understand that she has to follow basic household rules just like she used to (i.e. dishes, garbage, 10 pm curfew, no boys in her room) basic, simple, non negotiable things.
Other than that i don't see any reason why not...
2007-07-31 16:01:20 · answer #2 · answered by Jackie B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a good relationship with her Dad and he is a good man, I would let her go. It doesn't mean that she can't come to visit or you can't call her often. Put yourself in her place. Maybe it is a good move for her. She may feel out of place in your new family. Tell her you love her and keep in close contact with her so she knows that you want the best for her. Tell her Dad the same. It will cost him much more if she lives with him than if he pays child support.
2007-07-31 15:56:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you do not loose touch with her, I would give it the ok. Me personally, I grew up with just my mother, I would have loved to been able to go to another place to live even for a month or two. I say let her have at it and if she doesn't like it, allow her to come back. As far as the child support goes, I'd contact your lawyer, about it. Just to see if he would still have to pay the rest of CS and see if you can't talk to your ex and her about a trial period.
2007-07-31 15:58:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 16 she has a moral, and in most states legal right to choose where she lives. By your own admission, he is a good father, he apparently got behind in payments but is currently working to catch up.
Her living with him will not absolve him of PAST payments, that will still have to be paid, so I don't see that as a reason at all. Let her go, maybe she really just wants some peace and quiet.....
2007-07-31 16:26:41 · answer #5 · answered by Michael H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her move in with him. A similar situation happened when my fiance's daughter wanted to move in with her mother. If you "forbid" her it automatically makes you the bad guy, plus if he is a good person who you believe will take care of her and her needs then there is no reason to not allow her to live with her father.
2007-07-31 15:56:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has to pay the back child support--no matter what--Give it a try---go month to month...Where will she stay during the day??? When there's no school???? Will she be with you??? Let her go, mom, if he's a good dad, what are you worried about.???Keep track of her school work.... and her friends ...... .good luck
2007-07-31 15:58:53 · answer #7 · answered by sawNkansas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, its not your husband's chocie he prob just doesnt want her to be with her real dad i know how this is my step dad hates my dad its not really your chocie or your husbands your ex helped you make her she dont just belong to you and he sounds like a good dad and shed have alot more room and get to see her daddy everyday let her go!!
2007-07-31 15:56:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it can be said too of that **** head you married, or, are just living with,, he just wants the fathers support money he sends his daughter,, and hell !!!! yes,, let her live with her father,, let her see the joy of living and growing up with the real father not a worm that is just sleeping with mother..you see she has a life too,, let her go and learn,, you can be there if it don't work.. have faith on her judgment..
2007-07-31 16:03:41 · answer #9 · answered by quitelovableman 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can sue for custody. The judge will listen to your daughter and give her opinion the weight he feels it deserves.
2016-05-19 03:20:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋