Do you personally know anyone who has been forced into an unwanted marriage?

Question

I have, and I agree that it does exist, but for muslims and all of those who believe in one God, this is not part of the religion. The "arranged marriages" where a woman is not even asked is unislamic, and according to the Sunnah of the Prophet (PBUH), if her consent was not asked the marriage is invalid. What do you think of this?

"The consent of both the man and the women is an essential element of marriage, and the Qur'an gives women a substantial role in choosing their own life partners. It lays down:

Do not prevent them from marrying their husbands when they agree between themselves in a lawful manner. (2: 232)"

Answer 1

sometimes forced marriage happens here, but that is in the Hindu and Christian community.

Answer 2

As a Muslim i do not know personally of one single person who has been forced into an unwanted marriage. I do know of many "arranged marriages" but all of them where only introductions neither the woman or the man where ever obliged to meet even a second time let alone marry. Its more like a match making service. If say a nephew felt it was time to marry he would ask his mother and sisters help. They would talk and suggest a woman they know who might be suitable. The two sides agree to meet, if they like each other then they meet again, and again and as often as they like. If both partiess decide they would like to marry then they do. Even when engaged it is still permissible for either partie to change their mind and there is no shame in it. Where is the forcing there? They are all very happily married and have children and not a divorced one among them. My marriage was not an arranged one but i see nothing whatsoever wrong with them, IF that is what both sides want. No one should ever be forced into doing anything they do not want to do, especially such a huge commitment as marriage.

Answer 3

Dear sister I think that in many cultures a person is guilted down or life is made unbearable until they finally agree to a marriage that the parents want,Im guessing that these marriages are valid?Since the person has agreed,though they didnt really want to in thier heart,they did it for thier parents?Otherwize I know thier would be alot of invalid marriages-I wonder?

Answer 4

I hope all can ignore Dracula above me :)

I don't personally know anyone who has been forced into a marriage.... but i've heard of a few. It makes me so sad that there are some that call themselves Muslims that deny women the rights that Islam gave them.

However, this is not an idea unique to Islam. The Evangelical Missionary Alliance churches do not allow women to be preachers or have places of power. However, there are several instances in the bible of women preaching; and in 1 Corinthians ch. 11, it is said that a woman is not allowed to prophesise (i think i mispelled that :) with her hair uncovered..... which would make one assume that women were allowed to prophesise. I've spoken with a preacher in this church who says that he doesn't deny that women are allowed this right, it is just not something that they allow or desire in their church.

**I truly feel all instances of women being denied their rights are pitiful and unfair

Peace and Blessings,
Sakina

Answer 5

I know forced marriages do happen but I don't personally know anyone who has been forced to marry in this way. I am aware that in Islam forcing someone into something that they do not wish to do is a sin and it is not valid.

Answer 6

in my view i admire people who age with dignity yet I understand why others sense scared and attempt to conceal the lines of time. turning out to be previous till a definite age is tricky, we grow to be wiser, greater desperate in our needs and needs. although there's a defining 2d that the advantages start to be much less and the hardships greater and while a guy or woman starts off understanding this then comes the phobia. i'm speaking approximately actual discomfort, osteoporosis, cardiac ailments, memory lapses, a usual feeling of weak spot. it particularly is extremely difficult for somebody to settle for the certainty that they are no longer in a position to assist themselves and would place self belief in others for their known needs. and of direction the toughest area of all is to be responsive to that dying is getting close to. to respond to your question there is not any longer something incorrect with turning out to be older even though it particularly is a tricky painful proccess, esspeccialy for people who felt they didnt stay their existence to the fullest and prefer that they had carried out issues otherwise.

Answer 7

Nope...

But I've read some novels that had someone in it who was forced into an unwanted marriage :D

Answer 8

i was fored into marrying someone who ididnt know .Im a pakistani aged 28 and britsh born and bred
but when i went to pakistan i was emotionally blackmailed into it and at the age of sevnteen didnt know any better.When it was my wedding day it all felt surreal as if it wasnt happening to me and i was on outside looking in .i tried my best to hack it out but after elen years had to get a divorce as we were not meant to be.My parents realised this mistake they made and never forced it upon my brothers

Answer 9

My aunt. She was engaged before she was even born. it was something like my grand mom's friend (almost sister) said that if its a girl she is going to marry my son and my aunt was a girl. She did not want to marry him but her mom guilt her in it. You know how parents are my grand mom was sick and she was like this is my last wish or what not so my aunt ended up marrying him. Hated her mom for it still does. Got divorce 10 years later. she regrets marrying him. that is why when I was little she used to tell me never to get married. My parents blame her for me being out spoken and not shy

Answer 10

Muslimah, I do know someone who did not want to marry a muslim girl as he loved another who was not of the same belief. He was raised as a devoted muslim and practiced it sincerely but was expected to please his parents and marry a woman of their choice. He was introduced to several Muslimahs and involuntarily made the decision to choose one. He was so heartbroken as he felt compelled to put their feelings before his.
The last I heard he is happy and came to love his Muslimah.
This man worked alongside of me for several years and bared his soul to me. We were the best of friends and I admired him for who he is.

I do love reading your posts. C

Answer 11

That doesn't guarantee a woman's choice not to marry, it just says don't stop a marriage.