Member since: July 09, 2006
Total points: 238 (Level 1)
Points earned this week:
--% Best answer
Kathy A
S This is emberassing, but I am about to take my son back from my sister.?
I had a drinking problem and recieved a P.I. and my son had to move into my sister's home while I attended an intensive outpatient program. After that, I recieved a D.W.I. and let him stay with her until I cleaned up my act. I am ready now, doing very well and very happy as a matter of fact (I actually love the 12 steps-they are life skills). I know she is going to fight me tooth and nail over this, legally. I will go to any lengths to keep my son and do whatever is necessary in order to do so. Who can help me prepare for this upcoming battle? I finally have the guts as he alwyas comes over crying and saying how awful it is there (she's very demeaning and controlling and argues non-stop), but it is nothing that would carry any weight. She used to cocaine and dated a dealer, etc. She put this in her pass and is very successful now and I respect that, but I will never be "good" in her eyes. Nobody is. Please don't think I just want to play mom out of the blue.
2007-07-31 11:30:14 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You guys are so sweet. I didn't expect so much understanding. I'm crying to know that total strangers would take the time out to help me. If any one of you ever needs help with something, e-mail me at kathyjo8675309@yahoo.com. I'll do what I can. I didn't ever sign away rights and my son and I are VERY close as this was a short lived relapse. I didn't drink most of his life. I did write my sister a nice but firm e-mail telling her of my intentions. I couldn't have done it with out all of you! Gosh, do any of you live in Texas? I could use a supportive friend right now!
2007-07-31 12:52:25 · update #1
Congratulations on the recovery! I think it took some guts to do it!
I don't know much about law, but while I think that you shouldn't need to fight over your son (I think that you deserve to be a mother to him unless you prove that youre not fit, but you seem to are), if you feel your sister will fight legaly, it's a good idea to be prepared.
I don't know if you have talked with your sister and she has already told you to back off and that she was keeping your son. But if you haven't, talk first with a lawyer to know where you stand in regards of your son custody. Dont go in and say you want to fight or anything, but first you just want councel because you don't know how your sister would react. Also, they can help you with what you should say or should not say because it might affect a possible court room.
After knowing this, I would first talk with your sister and try to reason with her. You might be surprised if she just says, 'hey, it's been great having cared of him, take him now' or something. But if she just fights back and says something, you already know where you stand, and probably have all the prelimiary paperwork (what if there is a 'take your son and leave paper') or the basework for a case.
I think that arranging this stuff within a family in an honest communication is better if possible, but if not it's best to be prepared. And good luck!
2007-07-31 11:57:55 · answer #1 · answered by Roberto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son had to lived with your sister while you clean up your act, not lived with her forever. You shouldn't have to fight to get your son back, but if so, go to where you got help and have them type you up a letter that you are now clean and you received help for whatever problem you had and show it to any judge in family court and you will not be denied..and you don't need a attorney either.
2007-07-31 18:43:21 · answer #2 · answered by bert bert 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough situation... how long have you been in the program? I'd recommend consulting a lawyer. The 12 step programs have a great networking potential, see if you can find help from within.
2007-07-31 18:34:42 · answer #3 · answered by dirtymartini 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get into therapy for the mental aspect of it and hire a good attorney for the legal. If you have completed all of your court ordered recovery program items - you should not have any trouble getting your son back. Courts would rather see children raised by bio-parents.
2007-07-31 18:35:50 · answer #4 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ditto what carlito said plus, congratulations on getting free from alcohol. For encouragement, listen to ttb.org. A recovered alcoholic I know said getting your kids "back" as in on your side, takes time, because during the years you drank you weren't "There for them." challenges are ahead for you.
2007-07-31 18:35:52 · answer #5 · answered by stick man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't really have helpful advice but i wanted to congratulate you on getting your life back on track and wanting to be an active member in his life. Good Luck ma!
2007-07-31 18:40:12 · answer #6 · answered by srkaz19 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless you signed guardianship over to her she has no legal rights to him. If you did get an attorney.
2007-07-31 18:33:08 · answer #7 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋