Should childless couples be offered the chance to adopt........?

Question

......before they get free fertility treatment?

Patsy: Adoption agencies.

Alicat: But nature has already taken away certain choices for childless couples unfortunately (just as life itself has taken away others for orphans). And, as harsh as it sounds, free fertility treatment is tax payers money. So, it's not just a childless couples revenue we're talking about.

For everyone answering in the US: I am in the UK. There are certain circumstances, if couples fit the criteria, that they can get one or possibly two free attempts at fertility treatment over here.

Answer 1

The avenue of adoption is always open to the majority of people. Childless couples may prefer to try IVF and the other options open to them which would allow them to have a child that is bioloigically theirs first.

Answer 2

Why should any parent be denied the right of conceiving a child? Not all infertile couples are hopeless. Some just need some medical help. I do not think it would be fair to say that all childless couples should be forced to adopt. However, you throw another situation in there by saying "free" fertility treatment. I don't know of anywhere that provides "free" fertility treatments but I would have a slight issue with that as well. While I speak from experience that infertility treatments are draining - financially, emotionally, and physically - I do think that if the treatments were "free", there would be people who would take advantage of the situation. However, I still do not believe that anyone should be denied the right of pregnancy and childbirth if it is possible with the assistance of prescription medication or IVF, etc.

As a mother who has suffered infertility and blessed to be a parent thru the miracle of adoption, I would not trade my son for the world. However, I do grieve that I could not experience a pregnancy as other woman can.

Answer 3

Not before they get the chance of fertility teatment if that is what they want, but yes they should be offered adoption as an option if they fit the criteria set the same as for all other adoptive parents, it is not just a matter of wanting a child it is about being in the right state of mind and able to give the best to that child as well which not every childless couple necesdsarily could.

Answer 4

It does always amaze me how other people are so quick to tell other people what they should and shouldn't do in regards to children. It is such a hugely personal decision and there are so many factors that go into it. When I was pregnant people were quick to tell me what I should and shouldn't do with my kids. It was wild. We have 4 biological kids and have had exchange students live with us. Currently, I have a number of friends who have kids and probably even more that do not. I know some people that weren't sure about adopting and so they got a pet first (that is very silly - there is really no comparison). Another thing some people have done is to have exchange students or foster kids in their house and can look at this as a short term commitment that can help you assess your parenting skills and your commitment to adopting. So, my opinion on this is just this --> Whatever you decide do it with conviction and don't worry what other people say to you about what you should be doing. Having children is a big commitment and a huge joy. If you decide to adopt then you are all in and have to behind your decision 100%. If you decide that you are not going to adopt then embrace that decision and live your life to the fullest and don't waste any more time filling future days with regret. There are many ways to be fullfilled and to give back to your community and to the world besides being a parent. I love being a parent and for me it has made me a better person - at the same time my feeling is that life is a joy and you should live it. It is very encouraging to hear you ask this question because it means you are not taking this lightly and it indicates to me that you would be a good, caring, and thoughtful parent. This decision is yours - embrace it and move forward confidently.

Answer 5

Where do they get free fertility treatment? From my understanding people pay tens of thousands of dollars for fertility treatment?

They absolutely should be offered the chance to adopt. Many infertile couples, though, aren't open to the idea initially & want to have a "child of their own" (meaning created from their own genes or one that the wife physically carried in pregnancy).

Infertility is a very complex emotional issue. The couples have to grieve their losses of hopes and dreams of creating a child out of their own genes, of pregnancy/delivery, of all that incredibly complicated stuff.

The couples who deal with infertility and go on to have successful adoptions are the ones who have worked through the grief that infertility brings.

There are many good books (http://www.tapestrybooks.com is a great resource, if you don't buy there, use it as a reading list & borrow from the library) and support groups that deal with infertility issues. Any social worker doing a homestudy will ask about fertility issues and how they've been dealt with emotionally. A child will pick up vibes of being the "second best option" to a couple.

Answer 6

Honestly, we've hit so many walls trying to adopt that fertility treatments are starting to look inviting, and we've not even being that picky on who we want!

We're wanting school aged kids, race open, and our only real requirements are that they don't have a history of abusing animals or destroying houses. All the kids that we've been offered so far have either one or the other or both.

Oh, and just for the record, the way my health insurance is set up, our fertility treatments would actually be cheaper than most adoption situations.

Answer 7

I don’t really get these question. Infertile couples obviously have the chance to adopt if they want to. Typical a fertile doctor will give them numerous options and adoption is certainly on that list. I don’t think there are many places that give free Fertility treatment not in the USA at least. From what I have read often times the couple must pay for it themselves, sometimes even if it is covered its only maybe one or two rounds of treatment.

Answer 8

Is there such a thing as "free" fertility treatment? I highly doubt it. And childless couples are offered the chance to adopt from a variety of different avenues and agencies, they simply need to make contact if they are interested. The problem is that most people are too caught up in the idea of having their own biological children to consider adopting. Thus, they are willing to go through all the expense and trouble to become pregnant instead of turning to adoption.

I understand what you are saying, though, and I do agree. I believe that people who want to adopt, should look at the older children in the system before they go on a long waiting list for a healthy, white infant.
Peace,
Jenn

Answer 9

hi yes childless couples should be allowed to adopt my self & my husband have been trying to conceive for ten years were now under going ivf for the 3 time but if this attempt don't work then were going to apply to adopt we've already looked in to it & were in contact with the adoption agency to start arranging to apply to adopt & yes they should be given the chance to adopt be for they get free fertility treatment as ivf isn't for everyone as its a very draining & very emotional experience which drains you also if you do decide to have ivf you have to wait 6 months be for adopting i take it you haven't had to got through the problem of having to have fertility treatment or the adoption process other wise you wouldn't be asking such a question as unless you've been through this you can't understand how hard it is to try to come to terms that you may never have children even if you do apply to adopt as your fate of the adoption process is in the hands of people who have to judge whether your a good enough couple for to be given the chance of loving & bringing up a child who needs some 1 to care for them & love them there for yes a thing childless couples & singles should be offered all the help they can in helping to achieve there goal of having a family

Answer 10

There are regulations to adoptions they don't just stand around handing out children. My uncle and his wife waited for 5 years before they were able to adopt. They are now getting ready to adopt another child ( the biological brother of the child they adopted at birth) and it has been five years since the adoption of the first child. Fertility clinics are usually a quicker solution.