Experienced Parents Only PLEASE!!! What should I do About my six year old daughter when she acts like this??

Question

Ok, I'm 25 and I have a 6 year old daughter. When she gets mad at herself or mad period she wants to hurt herself. She's schatched her face up on numerous occasions. I don't spank her for doing this. I always just talk to her about it. Recently, she was at the Boys & Girls Club where I live and some kid accidentially hit her in the eye with a pool stick (she said it was in fact an accident too). And I guess because she didn't want to hurt the kid, she just scratched her own face up!! It wasn't bleeding but it was bad enough where her face was bruised and had whelps. And today I just got a call from the Boys & Girls club and they said she was clinging to someone and ripped her shirt. Even though it was an accident, one of the parents or something like that complained and she's suspended for the rest of the week. She said that she just wanted to scratch her face for doing that. Why does she do that?? And why does she act clingy?

I show her lots of love and praise her when necessary. Do you think it can be from her father being absent?? She speaks very highly of him although she's never met him. He is incarcerated. And whatabout the clingy behavior??

Answer 1

Does she tell you why she does this? I would definitely agree with other parents here and take her to a pediatrician and have her referred to a psychologist. Maybe its as simple as putting her on medications to relieve her stress, or she may need extensive counseling. Best way to find out is to have her checked out. Don't feel as though you have failed as a parent or anything of that sort. I've seen alot of parents in situations like this who blame themselves and become depressed because their child has "issues" such as this. Keep your head up and try not show any signs of distress around your daughter. Kids sense feeling from their parents. Good luck to you and your daughter!!!

Answer 2

You need to help her find a different coping skill when she is upset, research it online. If you can afford it I think you should get her counseling but I also know I could not afford it, but would try somehow.
My sister has my nephew run around outside and yell when he is angry. I have told my kids to scream in their pillow. There are a lot of different methods for relieving the stress/pressure but you need to get her to stop it could turn into a lot more the older she gets, the cutting and so on with teenagers. You could talk to your Dr and see if they have any suggestions.
It is not always something in the home or the mothers fault, some people just have that type of obsessive personality and she does not know how else to cope. Good luck to both of you but above all do not ignore it.

Answer 3

My youngest had this problem when she turned 4. I am sorry to say that we found out it is a mental disability that is fairly common (not that your child has it). Self-injury (SI) or self-harm (SH) is deliberate injury inflicted by a person upon his or her own body without suicidal intent. Some scholars use more technical definitions related to specific aspects of this behaviour. These acts may be aimed at relieving otherwise unbearable emotions, sensations of unreality and numbness. It is listed in the DSM-IV-TR as a symptom of borderline personality disorder and is sometimes associated with mental illness, a history of trauma and abuse, eating disorders, or mental traits such as low self-esteem or perfectionism.

Through medication and therapy she has grown out of it and is now a non medicated and happy 6 year old. I would suggest you seek help before it gets worse.

Answer 4

Her problem is low self esteem. Have you told her you love her? Have you praised her efforts whether the are any good or not? Children pick up allot of their self worth from their parents. Unless you value her and make sure she knows it then they will act out to get attention. This can become more serious if it is not dealt with. Take some time with just her and make sure she knows how special she is to you and your family. Talk is a start but actions like hugs go a lot further.

Answer 5

there might be something that is missing your best bet would be to go to counseling for her to get better answers and more concrete answers and it would be in your best interests to do it sooner then later because you do not want her to be a teen and still doing this. Just seek out a counselor through the program at the boys and girls club or even through her Primary care physician they have programs that offer mental evaluation services,

Answer 6

i'm a parent. but the experience is from my nephew. he was in my care for a few years. he's 7 now. but i can remember when he would get mad he would just hurt himself. like your daughter, he would scratch up his arm really bad. he just recently stopped for over a year now. his mom never gave him attention and actually just left him with me... he was in my custody because she didn't want him. i believe it is a direct connection from him not having his mother. he was angry and didn't know how to express it. i don't know how it was really corrected. but i know i gave him all the love that he needed and then some. talking to her about it is good. i gave him consequences when he did this. i didn't whip him either. he loves to play video games and i punished him from the games if he would hurt himself. i would let him know that there were other ways to let anger out. if he was not happy, he did not have to scratch himself. let her know that she can talk to you. its very important for her to find a different way to let her anger out. this may become a bigger problem when she gets older. let her know to draw if it makes her feel happy. let her know that when she's not feeling happy and she's a little upset, to find something that does make her happy. hopefully she'll turn around. stick in there, you'll be okay. good luck. hopefully i helped a bit.

Answer 7

Alot of B&G Clubs have resources for this, including on site counselors. The first thing Id do is reach out to their staff,their full time staff should be trained professionals and have a sit down to find out more.

Answer 8

Yes.Usually the fathers are the only ones with the guts to spank their kids to MAKE them behave.I tried what your daughter did when I was young and my parents let me know they would wear me out if I wanted to be hurt.I learned it got sympathy from SOME people, but my parents were too smart for that trick.She cannot take out her frustration on mommy or the one she is mad at so she takes it out on herself to get sympathy ...and it works!

Answer 9

My 8 year old bangs her head on the wall when she gets mad. I did my best to ignore it at first, but it hurts me when she does that.

Now I just grab her and hold on as tight as I can, rocking her till she stops fighting me. Then I make her talk to me or draw me pictures.

I know that isn't going to fix it, but it is the best I know to do for her.

I will be checking back on your question to read the other answers- I want to help my baby too!

Answer 10

talk to her about this,,show her what she has done to her face,,she's 6 yrs.old,that's too old to be acting like a 3 yr.old..
maybe she is experiencing depression or bad feelings about something going on in her family?life? My daughter was about 5 when her grandfather died,,an she didn't talk much about it,but she acted out,and misbehaved...sometimes they just want attention..and if someone gives it to her everytime she does that,then she is getting what she wants...tell her you love her and don't want her to hurt herself. if that doesn't work talk to her pediatrician..