should i put my son through an operation?

Question

my little boy is 2.5 yrs old. he was born with a 'skin tag' like thing on his neck line. its just above where the neck of a tshirt lies. it looks like a large pea sized wart. the dr's all say its harmless. my question is should i get it removed for cosmetic reasons before he starts school? i know how horrible it is for a child to go through an anaesthetic because my 5yr old has had his tonsils out. however i also know how horrible kids can be at school.... i was called 4 eyes for most of my school years!!! it is unsightly and i think looking at me now as an adult if i had something on my body that my parents could have sorted out as a kid i would have wanted it done. however as a parent i don't want to put him through an operation!! (my sister says it's 'gross' and i should get it cut off as soon as possible!)..
i honestly can't decide which way to go.... all you parents out there...what would you do?

Answer 1

You know, none of us are flawless. We ALL have something physical that sets us apart from our peers. Be it height, color, teeth, hair color, visual, talent, intelligence, sense of humor...whatever.
And when you check into the histories of great people - they became great because they conquered adversity. FDR had his wheelchair, Moses stuttered, Ludwig van Beethoven became deaf, and on & on.
I feel that I grew stronger because I wore glasses, braces on my teeth, was taller than ALL the girls in my class, and my period didn't start until I was 14. I was teased, taunted, humiliated, and ostrasized.
But you know what?
By going through those things, I have more patience, compassion, tolerance of differences in people, I stand up for the young, elderly and disabled. I am told that I have a servant's heart, which is a gift from God.
And, oh yes, I just remarried. My hubby is a stroke victim, paraplegic 100% wheelchair dependent. He makes me strong.

So, when you worry about a simple little tag, a little mark on what is your beautiful son, why allow it to mask him as a person? Allow him to choose the time; when He is ready. He may not even care, once he is old enough to think it over. Try to not let those who are very visually influenced dictate to you how to handle little issues like this. Your son may thank you later for waiting and allowing him to decide.

073107 3:03

Answer 2

Removing a skin tag is not surgery - it's done in the doctor's office with just local anesthetic. They'd freeze just the area and cut it off. If it's big enough, it may need a stitch or two. I've had several suspicious moles removed in a dermatologist's office like this and skin tags have the advantage of being right on the surface (larger moles go quite deep and when there's a concern of cancer they need to remove it all). I'd ask your current doctor what they think the procedure would be like. If it's small enough he might not even need a dermatologist and they'd just freeze it like a wart.

Answer 3

The good thing about small children is they dont care! When he starts school he may get a bit of attention from the children asking what it is; but just explain to him to tell them whta it is! Small children like that arent the worry for him, it's when he reaches secondary school - let him decide what he wants to do then. If it's not affecting his helpdont put him through the operation. It isnt bothering him is it? The kids will forget after a few days; small cildren are llike that they accept people for who they are; it's a pity adults arent the same

Answer 4

Being the mom of a 5 year old who has had 7 surgeries so far for cleft lip/palate, I can certainly understand your apprehension with putting your son through an operation.

At age 2.5, he's young enough not to be very traumatized by a minor procedure such as this. If you feel that YOU would do it for yourself, then perhaps it may be something that he should have done. You said so yourself, it's unsightly. Yes, kids can be cruel.

I think that you may have answered your own question. I wish you the best, I hope that you manage to get through this, and I assure you, your son will be fine, they monitor childrens' surgeries so very closely. :) Remember, my daughter had 7 and she has many more to go, as surgeries done for cleft lip/palate continue throughout adulthood. Her first surgery was done at age 3months old.

Good luck.

Answer 5

My daughter had skin tags when she was younger, but her doctor told us she would build an antibody to it, and they would come off by themselves. AND they did! Will your sons?

I don't think you should take your fears of childhood in to consideration with your sons operation. What exactly do you mean when you say operation? I'm thinking you just mean the freezing of the skin tag, which is not painful and will only take a few seconds.

You still have a while before he starts school, so its nothing you need to stress about. Give him a few years, until he is about 5 or 6, and then kinda talk to him about the skin tag. He will not be able to make the final decision, but you never know, it may not even bother him.

Answer 6

Would they have to knock him out or could they do it with a local. I had a big mole removed and they just numbed the area and cut it off and chances are once they got the numbing shot in him he would not fight as much because he would not feel anything.
The mole I had was in the same area as your sons and of course it was dark because it was a mole and yes I was teased a lot for it, I finally got it removed at 16 but had wanted to for years and my parents could not afford to.
I do not think you have to but I probably would if they could do it with him awake. I think in situations like this bribery is OK, tell him if he is good for the doctor he can get whatever new toy he has been wanting.
Another issue is mine was irritated a lot because it rubbed on my shirt or caught on things like a necklace, obviously a little boy does not typically wear jewelry but it is another thing to think about.

Answer 7

Dont put him through the operation. I have had over the years many operations (approx 20). Most of these were as a child. I would leave it be for now for something like this, and only consider it having it done if either it becomes medically necessary, or if he deceides in a few years that he does want it removing, either for cosmetic reasons, or due to teasing. (And yes, I do also know what it is like to be teased at school as I have facial lumps, and got called things like lumpy etc). Operations for removing them didnt stop the teasing.

Answer 8

My youngest son is 3yrs and I got a mole removed from his neck in Jan was he was 2.5. I was worried about the same thing, him being made fun of in school. I was told if I wanted it to be removed, better to do it early so it would heal better. I myself also have one in the same spot and never got it removed but as I got into my teen years, I wish it had been.
I honestly, if I had to do it all over again, I would have waited until he was a little older, maybe 5 or 6. He was just so young and it was torture with him being sick from the anesthesia and trying to keep him from not touching the spot etc. If you want it to be removed, wait until he's a little older. It's not bothering him nor is it a health issue.

Best wishes =]

Answer 9

Hi Hannah,

Can't answer this as a parent, but you know me and how I like to put my two-penneth in!!

I would say you should leave it - I personally feel it is your sons choice to have whether to have removed or not, however right now he is too young to decide for himself. But when he is older he can choose. As a general rule, I don't feel that children are singled out / called names to the same extent while they are in infant school as they are when they are in secondary school. Most if not all of the children your son attends infant school with will notice but will not bother because it's not important to them.

I am sorry about you being called names at school, I was called names too and I think at some point, nearly every child is. But going along those lines for example, my boyfriend has ginger hair and got called at school quite a lot for it. But I don't feel that it would have been acceptable for his parents to have dyed his hair in order to prevent the bullying. He however did dye it himself when he was older - and it looked so silly! I was picked on at school because when I started high school in year 7 (age 11/12), I was as tall as the boys who were in their last year (age 16). I am 6 ft 1 now and haven't grown in height since age 14. I was very thin, looked anorexic, and used to get called lampost. But should my parents have done something to to make me smaller or chubbier??? No. Then I would have been called fatty. Also because I was attending church the children bullied me. But it didn't stop me going. You said you were called four eyes. But you needed to wear glasses. I needed glasses and my dad wouldn't pay for proper frames so I had the cheap NHS ones, which made me look just like Deidre Barlow from Coronation Street. So Deidre was also a nickname. I was name called because of my first name, middle name and surname. I was devestated at not having breasts so (age 15) I padded a 28aa bra with toilet tissue and it was noticed while getting changed after PE. Then I was the andrex girl. I laugh at all of this now because it's made me a stronger person today. but at the time it was not very nice. Kids are just cruel and will find anything different about someone to single them out and name-call. But I feel it's impossible for you to prevent this - you'd be here all day otherwise! What is important is that your son has a family who love him very much no matter what, and are supportive to the best of their ability.

Apologies for waffling on....doctor put me on a bit of mad medication. Bet I sound like a real weirdo now, not read what I've been writing so hope it makes sense. Email me if it doesn't!

Hope you get it sorted!

Joy

Answer 10

This is a touchy situation because as mothers we want the best for our kids. My daughter has been put to sleep for her stomach reflux when she was three.
It was scary and tear jerking, so I know how u feel... As for a mole I don't know if they will put him under, I would get all the facts and research it b4 you decide. Plus he's only two/half, I would get it done b4 5, you might want to wait a year more to see how you feel and then go from there..
I think you will make the right decision, good luck and hope everything works out....