I have been seeing a guy for about a month and things were going really good. We have long talks and we both enjoy spending time with one another. He would pick me up playfully and spin me around and just make me laugh. Sometimes we would sit up for hours and just talk. Once we stayed out until 5:00am and just have the best conversation.(nothing physical) Well now he seems to have put some distance between us and being really vague. I asked him was it something I did? do u wnt 2 continue dating? He says he does and that he does not want to lose me, but that he has priorties he needs to take care of. That's fine I understand that. How can one minute your twirling me around taking me places and then all of a sudden become cold and abrupt? I am really upset because I really like this guy alot and I'm feeling really down... Can anyone make sense of this? is there a switch or something? and how do I turn my switch/feelings off because it seems as though he has just went cold turkey..:-
2007-07-31 08:18:48 · 30 answers · asked by Cheetara 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Tell him u like him alot and tell him your feelings. And say maybe u want to talk about it.If he will not tell u his feelings or talk about problem he's not the guy for u.
2007-07-31 08:46:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 5⤋
It sounds like he cares about you - for the most part guys don't normally say 'I don't want to lose you' when they are trying to blow a girl off. They say don't forget about me, keep in touch, I'll call you...crap like that.
Obviously what he had to do is very personal. He didn't tell you because seeing each other for a month, in man-land, still makes you emotional strangers. I know that's hard to understand, a month for women means much more. Men and women view time in a relationship differently, keep that in mind. To him, you're just not there yet. That doesn't mean he doesn't value you, it just means he's a guy.
Men are very task oriented. When they see a barrier to happiness, success, they have to stop what they are doing to remove it.
Just be patient. The adage is 'if you love someone, set them free, if they come back...' take what you will from it, and move on if you have to. You obviously care about him, so he may be worth the wait.
2007-07-31 15:35:47 · answer #2 · answered by Katherine Says... 3 · 0⤊ 7⤋
WELL IT IS A SWITCH FOR BOTH MALE AND FEMALE SOME HAVE SOME DON'T IF HE HAS THINGS TO DO BE PATIENT IF HE IS FOR U HE WILL COME BACK DON;T GET TO WRAP UP WITH UR EMOTIONS THINGS START OF GOOD IN A RELATIONSHIP ITS UP TO THE TWO PEOPLE IN TO KEEP IT GOING IF ONE DOESN'T DO IT WONT WORK THE OTHER ONE FEEL LIKE @%# SO KEEP UR HEAD AND ASK CAN U HELP OR SOMETHANG CAUSE HE MITE HAVE SOMEONE ELSE ON THE SIDE ALSO SO BE PATIENT AND BE AWARE AND WE DONT JUST GO COLD SOMETHANG HAPPEN WHEATHE WITH U OR SOMEONE ELSE BUT SOMETHANG HAD TO HAPPEN FOR THAT SWITCH TO GO OFF TRUST ME TAKE CARE HOPE EVERTHANG WORKS OUT
2007-07-31 15:29:52 · answer #3 · answered by MOTHERLAND2000 2 · 0⤊ 7⤋
Guys think differently than girls. nothing is connected together.
Things go in little boxes, the job box, the gf box, the fishing box, etc.
Everything is seperate and has nothing to do with anything else.
He may be thinking about fishing right now. has nothing to do with you or your relationship.
With women on the other hand everything is connected to everything , so that an argument in July affects what you give for Christmas.
Stop thinking so much, and enjoy your alone time. He'll get back to you.
2007-07-31 15:29:49 · answer #4 · answered by Sophie B 7 · 2⤊ 7⤋
Often men we men forget our commitments, and have a tough time the next morning worrying over stuff. Starting a commitment is a great deal of emotional energy, and it might take him time to decide if this is right, and there might be stuff in his personal life he needs to take care of before making any promises. Love takes time.
2007-07-31 15:21:42 · answer #5 · answered by Steve C 7 · 2⤊ 6⤋
He first needs to settle his issues, or the problems that he is going through. There is no really no switch for the feelings of a guy, it all depends in the situation that he is in, and he will adapt.
2007-07-31 15:23:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 6⤋
Men and women can change tunes because of different reasons. You boyfriend may be experiencing something in his life that is not relevant to you. The best thing you can do is just back off and don't question him unless it continues for a long period of time. Listen and believe what he says until he proves otherwise.
2007-07-31 15:23:03 · answer #7 · answered by Ida T 4 · 3⤊ 7⤋
well maybe there is something going on in his life that is making him morose. Btw guys cant just shut off their emotions any more than girls, we just dont always form attachments the same way. let him have his space to work his stuff out. if in a while he is still being unavailable then just move on. there are more guys out there.
2007-07-31 15:25:36 · answer #8 · answered by Josh W 3 · 1⤊ 6⤋
Um, guys are trained by society from day one that you are not to show your feelings. If you cry you are a sissy. If you are emotional you are gay.
It is ingrained in almost every male that if you have something that is bothering you you turn inward and show no emotion.
It is hard to break that training. Don't take it personally. he will open up to you in time if he can.
2007-07-31 15:23:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 6⤋
its either he feels its going too fast for him and he doesnt want a committment right away or he met another girl around the same time as you and isnt sure of his feelings for either one...but everyone has priorites if hes shutting you out and not being too clear on something it might be a red flag
2007-07-31 15:22:20 · answer #10 · answered by GA 5 · 1⤊ 6⤋