is their a mental health problem that is where you have a great need to be helpful and nice to people?

Question

i think i have this i seem to need to be needed and want desperately to help people if i see people trying to do something then i absolutely have to offer to help them i just can not leave them to try to sort it out themselves

if i am in town and there is a special offer for steak or something i have to phone someone to let them know

if someone sneezes i always go up to them and say help yourself to my tissues on my desk if you want some

if they have a head ache i always say help yourself if you wany paracetamol from my bag

is this too nice

i have noticed that people seem to be put off by this sort of thing

why is that do you know

have you heard of this before

is their a name for it

thank you for your answers


xxx


vici

Answer 1

Yes, you have a case of wonderfulhumanbeing stigma...now, I know that there isn't any kind of cure for it, and you are one of the lucky ones who has it...you are just a truly, caring, kind, giving, wonderful person. and what a great world this would be, if all were like YOU

Answer 2

Yeah I'm pretty much a sidewalk for everyone, not saying that you are. I go to therapy, and that's what were dealing right now! It's hurting my relationships every where. Mine started when I was little. I have a really hard time saying NO to people when I should. It's because No always came with a consequence in the house I grew up in. You just seem really helpful! Which I wouldn't say it's a problem unless it's affecting your life. I'm not a doctor though, so if it is becoming an issue I would talk to someone. Otherwise you seem very very sweet!! Take care and best wishes!!

Answer 3

I don't know that there's a name for it...you're just an overly caring person. Some people have the role of nurturer and caregiver, and you're definitely one of them. I think people are put off by it because we have just learned to be suspicious of anyone who's "too nice" We feel as though no one would be so giving without wanting something in return. When you say to someone you don't know, "here's a tissue in case you need it" we automatically feel uncomfortable that someone with no vested interest in us cares. We wonder why and what you REALLY want! It's just the way of the world, today. Maybe you're an "old soul", from days gone by. Your behavior would not have been considered "odd" a 100 years ago, just neighborly. So, you have 2 options. Continue as you are and spread your kindness not worrying what others think or become distant and isolated. Your choice. Good luck!

Answer 4

The people i have been overly "above the call of duty" kind to over the years have never found it difficult, in fact the opposite, the buggars have milked it dry, but in my case it has showed me that it's their total weakness and dependency that seeks people like me out and surprise surprise when I'm not in the equation i stop getting calls and in some cases replaced by another people pleaser!

My answer to you is - you being kind is called being a people pleaser and is a way for you to fill a gap where you need to feel wanted like it's your duty, it's a self esteem issue of sorts, makes you feel better after you help and becomes an automatic response, a high % of the population have it to a degree but if yours is a little intrusive and makes people feel uncomfortable then maybe you can just limit it a little? put a little brake on it? cos really it can be a wonderful quality if done correctly.

A healthy balance for it to operate is having what i call a 2 way street, you do something nice for someone and they do something nice back sometime.

Answer 5

It may well be a personailty and anxiety issue related to having always been treated as a person who is essentially there to fulfill the needs of others and may also be linked to be anxious about rocking the boat or making others angry or upset. I would not want to put a label on it as everyone is different and I don't think you should because it makes these personailty traits then sound like an illness when they are not. They are however, issues you can explore in therapy if they distress you or you want to change them.

Answer 6

i know exactly what u mean, as i used to be just like you before i got old (ish) and very cynical... basically, it's to do with having little self confidence and not liking yourself very much... u want to be kind and helpful to others so that they see u as a nice person - something that u do not believe yourself to truly be.

before i had my nervous breakdown a few years ago, i used to have loads of 'friends' who i used to run around after - babysitting for them, buying them drinks / food / smokes, taking them places in my car..... basically being there for them whenever they wanted me.... but then i suffered a nervous breakdown caused by a stressful job, and i soon found out who my real friends were, when some of them realised that i could no longer run myself silly for them. it was only then that i realised that true friends would like me for who i am, not what i could do for them or buy for them.

not sure if there is a true name for behaving the way u do, but as i said, it's all connected with lack of self esteem and confidence. i just hope u don't have to go through a nervous breakdown to discover who your true friends are.

Answer 7

Sounds like Co-dependency to me.

Characteristics of Co-Dependent People Are:

An exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others.

A tendency to confuse love and pity, with the tendency to "love" people they can pity and rescue.

A tendency to do more than their share, all of the time.

A tendency to become hurt when people donít recognize their efforts.

An unhealthy dependence on relationships. The co-dependent will do anything to hold on to a relationship; to avoid the feeling of abandonment.

An extreme need for approval and recognition.

These are just a few of the characteristics. I'm not saying that this is what you're talking about, but I know that I fall into a couple of those categories too!

Answer 8

You should be a Nurse... It's called being too nice. Most people are not accustomed to "nice treatment" so maybe just back off a little, learn to take care of you.