I"ve been dating many girls which aren't all a specific type. I have yet to find a girl that is "perfect" for me. Each girl would have a missing trait/personality that i would yearn for. For example, I would go out with a girl whos has a lot in common with me but is fat. Then i would go out with a girl who is very very hot; but is ditsy in the most stereotypical way. I'm currently going out with this girl who my #1 girl. She kinda scares me becase I see a LOT of myself in me. What she doesn't have which I would really like is musical talent and a great look.
Selfish and shallow aren't I?
But its not like i haven't dated an ugly girl before.
2007-07-31 07:49:02 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
oh gawddd.. Yes u sound VERY shallow BUT I understand what you are saying. You seem to be picky, the fact that you will give any girl a chance to see if she is the one is a great start. You shouldnt have so high of an expectation of any girl you come across and start dating. Why? Everyone is going to have a flaw that will not be your idea of the "perfect" girl.
You are being selfish in way, but only to yourself. How? You are basically giving up on any girl that has a flaw and not willing to get past it. You are only hurting yourself in the end.
I think it could be your afraid to get serious about a girl and when you find a reason to break it off (no matter how superficial it is) you do!
Or maybe you are still hung up on someone else? You are comparing these girls with a girl you once dated or have a crush on? They do not measure up/compare so you cut them loose at the first contrast to this girl...
You should really ask yourself what you want out of a relationship before you start rejecting these girls for their flaws. Maybe you dont know what you want and are confused about what you really want from a girl.
The fact that any little thing can set you over the edge might be a sign that you are looking for ALL the wrong things in a girl. Maybe the things you find to be turn offs could be something that is intimidating to you, or you dont want to put the effort into it. Who you are attracted to is a personal opinon and you cant help it.
Next time you date a girl try to hold out a little longer. Her flaws might be a turnoff at first but if you get past things that arent going to impact your relationship signifigantly you might come to grow to appreciate her flaws and vice versa. Maybe her weaknesses are your strengths and you can learn to accpet them...
Good luck!
2007-07-31 08:07:16 · answer #1 · answered by MoMo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi hon,
I hate to burst your bubble, but NO ONE is perfect. While you might (someday!) be able to find a girl who is skinny, athletic, intelligent, beautiful, stylish, funny, musically talented, and all the rest, you might also have to consider what qualities are MOST important to you. For example, what's more important to you: dating a girl who's skinny, or a girl who's smart? When you say "musical talent," does that mean you want a professionally-trained pianist, or just a girl who can carry a tune?
I'm definitely not advising you to lower your standards, but I AM advising you to keep your expectations realistic. There are very few women out there who look like supermodels...but there are MANY women who are cute & pleasant to look at. There are very few women who don't have ditzy moments now & then, but there are MANY women who can carry on intelligent conversations about the world around them.
Here is a quote by Carolyn Hax that I really like:
"When people say that nobody's perfect, they're right--but they're also brushing past the essential fact that imperfections come in all shapes and sizes, and there are shapes & sizes that you will find less obnoxious than others."
That's the bottom line here. Life isn't about finding a perfect person--it's about finding a person whose imperfections you can live with. :)
Good luck!
2007-07-31 08:02:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're chasing the wrong girls! I (a woman) don't know any girls like that, and most of us earn more than our boyfriends, so certainly aren't looking for rich, powerful people! If that's what some girls think, then it's no different from some boys thinking they have to go out with someone who looks like a model - it happens on both sides, and not just to one sex or the other. Think of all the girls who complain about boys who cheat, lie to get them into bed, leave them when they want something more. It's something common to human relationships, not one sex, and not heterosexual relationships (I think it goes without saying that people don't 'go gay' because they can't get a girl, doesn't it?). I think you'll find there are plenty of girls out there who feel that boys are equally shallow (only wanting to go out with thin, big-breasted girls who aren't successful enough to intimidate them, for example!) If you're making vast generalisations like "why are girls such liars" then that's not very attractive, and being angry at all women for not being attracted to you isn't a very appealing quality. Unfortunately, relationships aren't a box-ticking exercise - you may have excellent qualities, but if you don't happen to 'click' with the girls you meet it's just bad luck, not something you can manufacture, and not anyone's fault. The best you can do is relax (as much as anyone can!), meet as many people as possible, be open to opportunity, and try to let go of the anger at women in general! If you're genuinely only finding women who want to go out with rich, powerful men, then look somewhere else. If that's just your assumption of what women think, then let go of it because it is incorrect. If you keep talking about what 'girls' think as if we all think the same you will not get very far. Good luck!
2016-05-19 00:32:56 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me you sound young, not just selfish and shallow. I think that when you meet the right someone, you know it. You can't get them off your mind, you need to see them, talk with them, be with them all the time. And you DON'T obsess over their good and bad points. You accept them for who they are because they make you happy and they become your best friend. A perfect person does not exist, but the RIGHT person does. You need to keep your mind open to the fact that the right person for you may come in the most unexpected package. To understand this takes time and maturity.. something that you will gain from all your experiences. Good luck.
2007-07-31 07:59:32 · answer #4 · answered by ThatGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i suppose we want to feel "proud of" our signiticant other... so i guess that if you are selfish and shallow, so are most other human beings?
it's great that you date more than one person -- this keeps your choices open and you don't stagnate.
as for the #1 girl, you can't force her to have musical talent, and she was born with her looks....
maybe you could make a list of what you feel are the top 8 most important traits in another person, and the type of girl you'd like to be with.
looks aren't everything, and in fact, some of the most miserable and cruel people on earth have very nice looks!
take care of you.
2007-07-31 07:54:28 · answer #5 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh that is just sick. You only want girls who look great and have a chance for fame, sounds like to me. From what you tell me, the qualities you look for in a girl are looks and talent. What else do you go for? Money? An expensive car and house? Summer home in France? Famous parents? Some one whos easy? You really need better priorities. For instance, where are the qualities that really matter, like someone whos caring? Nice? Sense of humor? No, your not selfish to want the girl whos gonna make you happy. But the things you want in a girl make me wanna wretch.
2007-07-31 07:55:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Women will tell you to just wait and one day you'll meet the right one. Dudes that couldn't get a girl to save their life will say the same thing. The truth is women are just like men. Everybody has problems. Except men are emotionally consistent. Women don't have the ability to control their own feelings, which makes it nearly impossible to respect them. Welcome to the life of an adult male with sexual options. Look on the bright side; at least you have sexual options.
2007-07-31 07:56:00 · answer #7 · answered by Tim 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, all I know is there has to be a physical attraction to the other person for it to really work. I don't call it shallow, it is just chemistry. You could give it time and see if you warm up to her.
2007-07-31 07:56:18 · answer #8 · answered by Annie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, just self-centered. the real lol passage of your txt was 'she doesn't have a musical talent'. you are too prejudiced for your own sake. you need to fall in love and then all that stuff would not matter. love is not where you think you are heading, it's about a journey that takes you somewhere you never thought existed.
2007-07-31 07:56:08 · answer #9 · answered by sarah kay 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may simply take a while to find a woman who encompasses all the traits you desire AND has a fondness for you.
To each their own...it's up to you to decide what is mandatory, what is desired (but can be lived without), and what doesn't matter with re: to a partner.
2007-07-31 07:52:02 · answer #10 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋