Whenever i ask my dad for something he always said no and then i say ok.. and walk away but then he goes. Ok ok go ahead i dont care. I was fine with his answer but he ALWAYS does that. and then i dont know if i should do it because i feel bad.
:( what should i do when that all happens??
2007-07-31 07:47:41 · 19 answers · asked by icheerx247 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My mom does that all the time too!! I think they do it to make you feel bad about what youre asking to do. Sometimes if i want to do it badly, then i'll take her "ok fine go ahead" answer and i'll do what i asked to do. But sometimes i really do feel bad! I try not to do something if i can tell it really bothers her. So if your dad seems to be really bothered and he really doesnt want you to do something, then you probably shouldnt do it cuz then you're just gonna feel bad and you're not gonna have fun. But if you think its something that he's exaggerating over, then just have fun. Idk, but you dont want to get an "i told you so" later!
2007-07-31 07:52:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be a psychological tactic, dear. :)
What you CAN try.. is to ask him if he's sure it really is okay. Ask him that after he goes off with that line. If he says something like "yeah, you don't care anyway" or something that intends on hitting your conscience.. then you'll know that he didn't want you to at all.
If he doesn't say anything negative and just a "yeah, it's okay." Then maybe it's all about some degree of respect. You don't seem to argue with him.. and when he says no, you obey. Maybe that's what gets to him. You're so obedient that it sometimes is quite hard to say no. Who knows? Maybe he wants to see you argue with him, not that i'm suggesting you do so...
Don't feel bad when he does the "I don't care" line, unless he follows it up with other conscience-hitting remarks.. because without any other remarks, it's just a toughie thing that some dads do. :)
2007-07-31 14:54:18 · answer #2 · answered by Rogee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might say that because he feels bad saying no to you. I know my dad sometimes feels bad about saying no or disciplining me more than my brother because I'm his little girl. He may feel that you'll be upset or angry with him and he doesn't want that. Or else he rethought his decision and realized whatever it was you wanted to do wasn't a big deal afterall. If it's not something bad that would disappoint your parents, I say go ahead and do it. If it is, then out of respect to your parents you probably shouldn't do whatever it is. The only way to know for sure about your question though is to just come out and ask your father.
2007-07-31 14:52:41 · answer #3 · answered by Erica!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, that's odd that he just says no no, then changes his mind all of a sudden.
From now on when you have something to ask him, try approaching him, telling the story in advance of what you want to do, and tell him to take his time deciding on the answer. Maybe he'll realize that he often jumps to an answer without thinking it through.
2007-07-31 14:51:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
remind him that you ask...because you are not sure if your decision will be the right one..you dont have to ask permission for everything..so when you do, he should give you a straight-forward yes or no answer..and if he needs time to think about it...thats ok..
but just tell him that you are asking because you want to know...you don't want to do anything that wil make him unhappy and you are not trying to pressure him
good luck :)
ps. if that doesnt work..then do whats in your heart...you'll usually know what is ok and what is not
2007-07-31 15:02:34 · answer #5 · answered by Taz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should ask why he is hesitant to let you have this or do this. And let him know that it is OK if he says 'NO' that you will still love him regardless. Let him know that you will always respect his decisions because you know he just wants to protect you.
2007-07-31 17:11:03 · answer #6 · answered by nola_b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would do it anyway he wouldn't say if he didn't mean it.. But use your best judgment if you know you shouldn't do it then be mature enough to know that he is right and that you shouldn't go.. You shouldn't feel bad he loves you and wants to take care of you.. just use smart judgment...
2007-07-31 14:52:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he says "go ahead" then go ahead...sounds like his knee-jerk response is to say no, without really thinking about the situation. Once he's actually processed it, he decides it's okay after all.
Easier to say no, then yes...than to say yes, then no.
2007-07-31 14:50:28 · answer #8 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dat always happens 2 me and my dad. i feel bad 2. but he don't do it ALL da time. im not gunna come and say " sit down wit ur dad blah blah blah" but i will say dis: wen ur bout 2 ask ur dad sumthin tell him how u feel. tell him: dad i don't lyk it wen u i ask u sumthin and u say no den i say ok and den u say ok ok go ahead idc. it makes me dout if i shood do it. can u plz try and not do dat?"...... try it it mite work
2007-07-31 14:55:17 · answer #9 · answered by мєxι . ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of asking a "yes" or "no" question, try asking a "what do you think about..." question. That invites dialog, and puts a friendly demand on your dad for his personal opinions.
2007-07-31 14:53:55 · answer #10 · answered by G.I. Jill 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋