I know u are upset at me & mom. I just want u to know our feelings on the matter. It's important for Scott to be at my wedding b/c the day is about family,& I want him to be there. We will be taking pictures & celebrating, & it will feel like someone is missing if he isn't there. I realize that he may not know who is supervisor is going to be in Sept, but there must be a central location where he can request a weekend off, or he could ask his present supervisor. I also feel that instead of him coming home for thanksgiving – he could come home for my wedding - I invited his parents to the wedding so he can spend time with them. I just feel that if roles were reversed, Scott would want u at his brother's wedding. I can't understand how there is no one that he can talk to to get the time off. I don't want him to lose his job either, but I feel that he's not really making the effort. I am sorry if I am making u upset, I just don't want my wedding to be about Scott coming or not.
2007-07-31 07:46:33 · 20 answers · asked by Amy J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
okay, from what i gather he has limited time off from work and instead of coming home for thanksgiving she wants him to come to her wedding instead?!
I DO NOT THINK SO!!! just because one is getting married does not mean it is the most important time in EVERYONE'S LIFE! thanksgiving is a time for HIS family, how dare someone tell him to skip that!
it sounds like she is the one making her wedding about him not coming. if he can not get off work, then so be it. no one should feel bad about not attending a wedding, everyone has different work schedules. i think your sister is way out line as is your mother. you two are working on a future together i assume and he needs to work and move up in his line of work. it is BEYOND rude for them to assume he HAS to be there.
omg how rude to assume he is not making the effort. but if i was being handed "alternatives" (aka no thanksgiving with my family) i might not try hard either, i be too ticked off.
sorry if i seem angry, but it is a very rude thing they are doing. sit them down and tell them this can potential sour their relationship with Scott, that instead of coming together as a family, they are really pressuring him into things. i would tell them LOOK, he is not coming, can we please focus on the wedding. i hope things work out for you.
2007-07-31 07:50:53 · answer #1 · answered by Christina V 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow.. that is so selfish. I'm sure that if the bride-to-be reads this email a year from now, she will hide in shame. I think the problem here is that your sister is very caught up in the "me me me!" moment of wedding planning - the cake I want, the dress I like, the music I want to hear at the reception, the way I want my bridesmaids to look, the people I want at my wedding, etc.
She needs to take a step back and analyze the situation. Yes, family is important and I can see why she wants your fiance to be at the wedding. But his reason is a valid one - if he gets very limited vacation time, then even one day off is a big deal. And if the choice boils down to taking off for your girlfriend's sister's wedding or for Thanksgiving with your own parents, immediate family wins, hands down.
If your sister is so obsessed with everything "looking right" at the wedding and Scott being in the photos, she can just have a page in her wedding scrapbook with Scott's picture and some sort of note about "and here's my loser future bro-in-law whose lame job didn't give him time off to come to the wedding".
As for her saying "he's not making the effort", that is usually what people say when they are not getting their way.
Your sis should be thankful that she is having a wonderful wedding, marrying a great guy, and will be surrounded by almost all of her loved ones. Not everyone is this lucky. Some of my friends have gotten married without their own parents or siblings present because they could not get oversees visa's to attend the wedding, etc.
2007-07-31 08:01:53 · answer #2 · answered by Bella 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow.. it is so egocentric. i'm optimistic that if the bride-to-be reads this digital mail a 300 and sixty 5 days from now, she will have the skill to cover in shame. i think of the subject right this is that your sister is amazingly caught up in the "me me me!" 2d of wedding ceremony making plans - the cake i want, the gown i admire, the track i want to pay attention on the reception, the way i want my bridesmaids to look, the human beings i want at my wedding ceremony, etc. She desires to take a step back and study the area. specific, family contributors is substantial and that i will see why she needs your fiance to be on the marriage. yet his reason is a valid one - if he gets very limited holiday time, then even one smash day is a huge deal. And if the alternative boils all the way down to putting out to your lady pal's sister's wedding ceremony or for Thanksgiving with your own mothers and fathers, on the spot family contributors wins, palms down. in the experience that your sister is so enthusiastic approximately each and every thing "looking ideal" on the marriage and Scott being in the pictures, she would be in a position to basically have an internet site in her wedding ceremony scrapbook with Scott's image and a few form of be conscious approximately "and right this is my loser destiny bro-in-regulation whose lame interest did not supply him smash day to return to the marriage". As for her asserting "he isn't making the attempt", it is often what human beings say whilst they are not getting their way. Your sis ought to be grateful that she is having a marvelous wedding ceremony, marrying a large guy, and could be surrounded via fantastically much all of her substantial different and youngsters. not everybody is this fortunate. a number of my acquaintances are turning out to be to be married without their own mothers and fathers or siblings modern-day because of the fact they won't get oversees visa's to attend the marriage, etc.
2016-10-01 03:06:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess what she isn't understanding is that when the wedding is done and gone, your fiance still has to go to his job, and if he burns bridges by demanding things he can't have at best it would be uncomfortable at work. At worst he won't have a job, and your sisters wedding isn't going to pay the rent.
I think it's very selfish of her to be giving you a guilt trip and demanding things that she has no business demanding.
I'm sorry that she has put you in the middle. What I would suggest is telling her that he is checking on it and be done with it. If things change and he can go, great but if not I'm sure she can find other things to worry about beside him not being there. I am sure he feels badly enough as it is.
Good luck!
2007-07-31 13:21:11 · answer #4 · answered by Reba 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You mom and sister are being selfish. She even says, "I just don't want my wedding to be about Scott coming or not." Well that's exactly what she is doing! If this were my family, I'd have to hurt them. Leg breakings might be in order.
Really, I don't see why they are being so unreasonable about this. I know he is part of the family, but if you can't get off of work, then you can't get off of work. I can't believe that she thinks that her wedding is sufficient visiting time for him and his family instead of thanksgiving. Who is she to make that decision?!
2007-07-31 07:59:48 · answer #5 · answered by LSU_Tiger23 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I personally think this is pretty strange... Why would she care if your fiance can make it to the wedding or not? Nobody else is going to notice so it's not going to be about him going or not. Honestly, if he can't get time off work then he can't get time off work and she has to deal with it. I don't think it's that big of a deal. My bf can't attend my brother's wedding and even though my brother would love for him to be there, he understands this isn't always possible. Your sister will get over it and I'm sure she won't even notice one missing person on her wedding day.
Stand your ground and don't let them bully you or your fiance on this matter!
2007-07-31 07:58:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mom and your sister need to get over themselves. How dare they say that he should miss Thanksgiving for them. Honestly if I were him and I could get out of work - at this point I wouldn't. Selfish bridezilla & momzilla. What's with the infatuation with this guy anyway? Her wedding won't be about Scott not coming if she stops harping on it. Geez, you'd think it was the best man bailing or something. (would she rather be marrying Scott?) Freakin weird man!
2007-07-31 11:00:10 · answer #7 · answered by JM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to agree with everyone else.
SHE is the making a big deal about this. Even if he was your husband already it wouldn't be a disaster if he couldn't come. She should be adult enough to realize we can't always control our jobs.
I wouldn't worry about it until you know if he can come or not. If he cant, so be it. She'll have to live with that. I doubt she'll have a terrible wedding day because her sister's fiance isnt there. Chances are she wont even think about it. And if she does, she's just being a drama queen.
Good luck and best wishes.
2007-07-31 07:58:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She might say she doesn't want her wedding to be about whether he makes it or not, but she's certainly making it that way. Sometimes, no matter how far in advance you ask or hwo hard you try, you just won't be able to get the day off work. And he's certainly not going to spend Thanksgiving at work so that he can attend her wedding. I'm sorry, but you sister seems to be giving off that 'Bridezilla' vibe to me.
2007-07-31 07:55:03 · answer #9 · answered by Queen Queso 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How pathetic and weird is your sister that she thinks having her sister's boyfriend there is such a big deal. Is she secretly in love with him? From an outside view I have to tell you it's truly bizarre. He isn't even family. Even if you were already married it would be strange. "I don't want my wedding to be about Scott coming or not." That is so creepy. You need to tell them that Scott has his own family, his own life and that he does the best he can. Move on. I'm so sorry your own family is laying this guilt trip on you about something so silly.
2007-07-31 07:52:05 · answer #10 · answered by Luv2Answer 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋