re:daughter has not spoken to me in 5 years?

Question

just to add and let you know, I didn't do anything to push her away. It was her mother. She was always telling her I was bad. I had a great realtionship with her until her mom took me back for well deserved child support modifiacation. Her mom put her in the middle of it and said many things to her that were untrue. I have been heart broken that she will not talk to me. She wanted to do whatever she wanted and she didn't feel she needed to come over here. Her mom told her friends were more important while going to school. Evey time I called, I just said hi, it is your dad. Just calling to see how you are. I never demanded anything from her. Just never dreamed that she would not talk to me. She is also from a very wealthy family and is due to inherit millions. I was a bit surprised by some of the assumptions in the responses to my origional post. I have done nothing but what my counselor told me to do and it has been her choice to not talk to me. I never did anything to push her away

Answer 1

i think that what you are doing, and the way you are handling things is very sound and toughtful behavior.

you didn't say how old your daughter is, but sometimes kids are greatly influenced by what other adults say... not that i feel your ex was right for putting you down. i think parents need to let their children make their own decisions about their parents.. after all, they have their own brains!

i hope your daughter comes around to see you some day in the near future. take care. sending hugs

Answer 2

I feel for you. My son is 23, and has not spoken to me in nearly 2 years. He lives half-way across the country, but drives within 10 miles of my house when he flies in, stays at his dad's, visits his sister, but won't even pick up the phone to let me know he's alive. I've offered to be anywhere at any time to see him, but nothing. He proposed to his girlfriend at Christmas, and I've never even met the girl! Even though part of the trust fund I established for their education went for her engagement ring. I never said a word about it, either.
I've repeatedly e-mailed and asked why he's doing this, what I've done to make him so mad at me? I honestly don't know. His dad and step-mom are psycho, and I think they (especially his dad) have brainwashed him into thinking I'm some horrible, evil person.
We used to be so close, this just breaks my heart. I have apologized repeatedly for whatever it is he thinks I've done, but it does no good.
I admit I wasn't the best mom in the world, but with their dad bailing out on me, and both my parents dying the same year, I had a lot on my plate. They were never abused or neglected, always had a hot meal on the table at dinner time, always had clean clothes and a clean home. My daughter thinks I deserve an award for everything I did. I don't know why my son is so hateful.
So, I have no advice for you. I can't find my own way back to family harmony. Just thought I'd let you know you aren't alone. If you figure out how to get through to them, let me know, will ya? Good luck!

Answer 3

How frustrating to be rejected because of someone else's lies. It seems that there isn't much more that you can do -- except wait, and not torture yourself over something you can't control.

Deep down, kids need to know their parents. It is part of knowing themselves. Even adopted kids seek out their natural parents. It is almost certain that one day, your daughter will have some sort of disagreement with her mother, and feel totally misunderstood. She will wish she had a father who would sympathize with her... and she will come looking for you.

So keep the birthday cards coming and keep the porch light on.

Good luck!

Answer 4

i am in the same situation with my son. every time i try to get close his mother drives in another wedge. as your daughter matures she will see that one person is not to blame for it all. most important, stay in contact! allways leave a door open for her.