My girlfriend is dying of cancer but i want to marry her..what should i do?

Question

I still have a lot of trouble dealing with terminally ill people, like i dont want to make them feel worse by accident. Me and my girlfriend are both 19 and have been together since we were 15. the doctors say she has a serious blood cancer called Multiple myeloma, they say it is like luekemia : (
she has to go through really painful teatments and is having a very tough time lately. the doctors say its in an advanced stage . she has lost all her hair (its patchy on her head) and she cries about that and says shes ugly even though i keep telling her that she will always be beautiful to me. she says it makes her angry when i say she is beautiful because it isnt true, i got suprised by this because i thought it would make her feel better (and i actually believe she is beautiful). so now im worried because i want to ask her to marry her. the thing she feels most sad about is that she will never have the wedding she dreamed about as a little girl and that really breaks my heart.

but i dont want it to seem like im marrying her because of that, because i think that would make her angry again. I want to marry her because
she is the woman i want to spend the rest of my life with. I know this sounds like a soap opera but this is true life and im confused as hell, but
deep down it as simple as i just want my girlfriend to be happy as long as shes alive wether it be 3 months or 50 years. also if anyone knows about
that type of cancer could u tell me about it. the doctors say it is very bad, but could they be wrong? if someone could email me or im me and help me out that
would rock!

i only have about 2,000 dollars to spend on a ring/wedding

what happened in a walk to remember? also her parents love me! they say im like a son i think they would be happy

Answer 1

Do it! Don't live in the future, don't worry about the illness, don't worry about what might happen.

The fact is that she is still alive and is still with you.
Don't let her cancer stop you from marrying her. Explain to her that regardless of the cancer you would marry her.

You are already standing by her side and supporting, you are giving her a huge boatload of love like
she is your wife. It seems to me like your relationship has no where else to grow but closer. To marry her would be the best way to not only express your love, but to support her.

You have to make her understand that you want to marry her because you truly love her, not because you want to fulfill her dreams (although that is a plus).

Don't even worry about the money, it doesn't matter if it is a huge diamond ring. It is the thought that matters.

YOU ARE AN ULTIMATE ROLE MODEL! Dont ever lose hope and dont let other people bring you down. The world needs more people like you. Whether you decide to marry her or not you will make someone extreemly happy (not only her but everyone who has seen your relationship) This may be the #1 most moving question I have ever answered.

GOOD LUCK!!!!

Answer 2

I am so sorry your girlfriend is so ill and that both of you have to go through this! It must be very awful!

You may find some good information on WebMD, or just do a search on the type of cancer. There are a lot of good sources out there. That's what I did when my dad was diagnosed.

She is probably going through an emotional roller-coaster right now, which is why she gets angry when you try to make her feel better. Keep showing your love and support of her.

Talk to her and tell her honestly how you feel. Tell her you would love to marry her and why. Talk to her parents too, if you can. They may be able to help with this dream wedding for her too.

I pray that you both find happiness and that things work out for you. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 3

Hello Robert: I am sorry your girlfriend has cancer. You never said what type she has. But that is not what matters now. What matters is helping you to deal with the impending loss of some one you Love. Cancer is hard to deal with no matter what the persons age. weather it is 15 or 59 if you know what I mean. But you have to remember the good times and if you have pictures of her and the both of you than What I would recommend you do is make a photo album and her family wants what is best for her and so do you so what I would recommend is take her some flowers to the hospital for her. Even if the nurse will not let you in they will take a card or flowers or a stuffed animal. This will let her know how you feel. It is hard at any age.

Answer 4

Please read about this http://www.cellularzeolitecenter.com/Zeolite.php . It could help. My best friends dad was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and was given about 6 months to live. He took this stuff, changed his diet, and then went through some very tough procedures like radiation therapy and chemotherapy. After about a year and a half cat scans showed that he was 100% free of the cancer. It's been two and a half years now since it all started, and he's still working on getting back to his old life, but he made it. I've heard other stories of this Zeolite stuff curing cancer, so I really think you should look into it for her. It's natural and can't hurt her any. What do you have to lose?

Answer 5

I myself have suffured with cancer and has been in and out of remission. I am 44yrs today and have been in remission for 4 years now. It takes will power in your mind and heart to survive. Yes, the medicine will help but the mind and heart will keep you alive. I am living proof. But enough about that. I think you have to let her know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and then ask her to marry her. By doing so, let her know by shaving your head and taking pictures of you both. My first love and I both had cancer, he had leukemia and I had Uterin Cancer. He was bald before I was so I shaved my head...He looked at me with such love and started to cry. He knew I was his best friend and I loved him no matter what. We didnt concentrate on the illness, we believed we could conquer anything including that and we did. You see, they taught us in group therapy that you could die by car accident, a gunshot or anything while you were in that present illness. So live each day as if it were your last. This is how you are to live regardless. Ask her to marry you and dont take no for an answer, but do it with a bald head..(smile) (Oh, my ex-boy friend, he is now married to someone else and I am now divorced from someone else.) But we will always have each other because we both have met the man with no feet and we are here to tell about it. Just keep every moment you are together alive. I know its hard, but Yahweh (God) doesn't give us no more than we can handle, because His Son suffered for us..Just love her and tell her "no matter what, it will be okay. "Because you are with her now. Dont spend that time unhappy..and sad..hold her, take her hand, and look in her eyes and just breathe...

She is so Blessed to have you..

Tanya

Answer 6

I am sure the love is mutual. Yet I would think that she acts that way because she feels that she is going to die and she doesn't want any pitty from anyone. Go ahead and ask her if she loves you? And be ready to prepare her fantasy... Ask her mother and family members, and friends about how her fantasy was as she was growing up...
The proposal has to be the best in the world.
Post a question here as "What would be the best proposal line?" And when you find the best answer use it but make sure that it includes your real feelings... _Good luck with that PAL! You have a great heart and she sure does deserve you!

Answer 7

So sorry to hear of your troubles.
As wonderful and romantic as it sounds to get married at this point, to show her she is still lovely to you and all.... I'd like to point out one possible drawback. If she is still on her parent's health insurance as a student, etc... and you get married, she cannot have the insurance any longer. Cancer treatment is so expensive !
Love her with your whole heart, but be sure her care can't be compromised. The best care will help her make it through and then you can have that wonderful wedding.
If you want to give her something to look forward to, there's no reason you can't propose and give her a lovely ring anyway.
Blessings.

Answer 8

I would marry her!!!!!! All you have to do is tell her EXACTLY what you told us. Tell her that you want to marry her becuz you love her and she is the most amazing person you have ever met. If you think it will help, try getting her family involved. Ask her father for her hand in marriage. And see if by him bringing it up to her that you asked to see her reaction. I think that would just be the greatest thing you could do for her. I think you are a wonderful guy for wanting and loving her sooooo much. Come to think of it..... I would talk to her family first. They could have heard something already on the wedding front. And together you can make BOTH of your dreams come true!!!! Well next to her going into remission of coarse! GOOD LUCK SWEETIE!!!!!!

Answer 9

I think that you should just make her happy as long as you can and marry her if you know it is what will make her happy.

I know that it is completely different, but my pet cat has cancer and I have been giving her Chinese herbal medicine along with the Western treatments and she seems to have gotten better. The last x-rays showed that her breast cancer in the lungs have become less visible.
The type of herbs states that it is for both humans and dogs. However, the vet gave it to me to give to my cat. It is a mixture of shark cartilage, agaric mushroom, and chitosan (shrimp extract). I hope that this is helpful.

Answer 10

Wow... tough place to be in...

Kudos to you for sticking with her though...

I think you have to do the things that will make her happy... Unfortunately that probably means not the wedding she dreamed about but maybe you can do something...

Maybe ask your parents and hers to help you plan a nice ceremony in the hospital ( if she's not mobile)

All the best to you both... Remember, she'll be in a better place soon and someday you'll be together with her again!