I really need help with my mother in law- how to tell her we don'tt want her in our lives again.?

Question

she is really crazy. she is been divorce 4 times. we had a terrible relationship in the pass and to the point we move to another city to stay away from her, we had a baby , that now y 2 and half years old she never express anything about her.or meeting her, even when i got pregnant that firts time, last dicember she sent a letter expresing that she wants to change, and be part of our lifes, we give her a second chance later in january we found out that we were expecting our second baby and Iam having this baby in 3 weeks , the whole pregnancy she just ignoreme.and it really hurts, and has'nt show any interest to change like she mention in her letter, and we did our part we did these nice things for herall year to show her we care, like her birthday, mothers day,etc.. , she just ignoreme a and my daugther too, seems like she just wants to have arelationship with my husband. but he is very angry at her for the way she is with us, anyway last night she call. and we didnt aswwer phon

Answer 1

It sounds like the only reason she said she would change is because she was afraid of losing her son completely. To force her to pay attention to you or your daughter will just cause additional resentment - maybe for both of you. She appears to have only feeling for her son. Perhaps,he is very angry or frustrated, but I am sure he has feelings for his mother. To avoid any further hurt feelings, he could let her know that from now on he will contact her, and to not call his house as this is causing problems. Then he can call her once a month, chat for a few minutes with her, and be done.
If however, she calls the house, he can answer and tell her you now I will not call you this month, and for every time you call it will be one more month. He can tell her that it is her choice not to be a part of his life, and his family is his life and he is happy. She could have gained a daughter and grandchildren, instead she will lose a son, but if she does make further attempts, it will only be to please him, and she will never stick with them. He needs to be firm or she will not get the message. It's sad that she is that way. Instead of trying to get her attention, try to rid yourself of feelings of resentment and hurt by letting go. You have enough love around you, concentrate on that.

Answer 2

I think you already have your answer... just read what you wrote..

In order to keep contact with her you´ll have you feelings hurt.
She doesn´t like you because you ¨steal¨ her baby boy.
Tell your husband that you don´t need more drama in your life and that she proved that she won´t never change.
Your kids don´t need a person like that in their life.

Answer 3

hon, you are allowing this woman to run your feelings from a distance.

she is "ignoring" you and your family, and that is her choice. you cant' change her rude behavior.

i feel the best thing you can do is to take care of YOU. do what ever it takes to make yourself happy in YOUR WORLD, and let her life her life....

allowing others to get our emotions all stirred up is very unhealthy. she won't change, so don't expect it... she is living HER life, so you just live yours.

i' m sure you have good friends and family in your life who love you and care. you don't need her.

hugs