Parents often make such statements in response to their teenager’s objections with regards to curfews, chores, etc..
How helpful are those words, really. What are we teaching our kids about life when we say this is my house and these are my rules?
And when does the house become our children’s house also, when do they have a say in the rules?
2007-07-31 07:00:56 · 14 answers · asked by ? 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The home was the family's home but they were required to participate in its care along with me. And not just keeping their personal possessions clean and tidy and their room neat. They were expected to do regular household chores.
I always encouraged my children to negotiate. Negotiating came about when one daughter who hated indoor chores wanted to change with her brother who hated outdoor chores. They came to the table with a reasoned discussion. As long as they both had learned how to do the chore and the chore was completed, I had no problem with them swapping.
Negotiating also meant they came prepared with facts. There was no emotional whining allowed. No comments about what their friends were or were not permitted to do. Just "here's what I would like to discuss and change and this is why."
The house becomes the children's house as soon as you bring them home from hospital. They have a say in the rules when they've earned a say.
2007-07-31 07:09:33 · answer #1 · answered by Blue 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless the house is deeded to you, it's never your house. They pay all the bills, they take all the responsibility. That also includes, hopefully, the responsible raising of their children. When kids are 18, they're free to go if they don't like the rules - but free to go means you go and make your own way, you don't keep borrowing money to pay your bills. If you're in college and your parents are footing the bill, they still have some say-so in what you do. Parents don't owe their children a college education, it's a priviledge and with all priviledges comes responsibilities.
2007-07-31 07:06:36 · answer #2 · answered by Lady G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Parents should be making the rules. They're the ones paying for absolutely everything. You're teaching your kids discipline by setting the rules and sticking to them. it's a good thing.
2007-07-31 07:04:22 · answer #3 · answered by shoefly 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
With all priviledges come responsibilites. When my kids want to contribute then they can have a say. Until then "it's my house, my rules." As a parent you need to teach them responsibility and discipline.
2007-07-31 07:09:12 · answer #4 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wasn't real strict with my kids, and we respected each other.
They grew up in OUR home, but when it came to breaking rules, sure it became MY house MY rules.
Soemtimes we have to impose rules on kids, and discipline them simply to protect them, and so they learn proper behavior.
I used to ask my kids what a good punishment would be... they actually gave me some ideas at times, especially when they knew they were in the wong... it was interesting!
one more thing i'd like to say -- i wasn't always "right" as a parent, and as difficult as it was, i admitted my mistakes when it came to them, also.
take care.
2007-07-31 07:18:37 · answer #5 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are the parent right? So you will always have charge. The children they can start to recreate the rules, when you can trust them that is the major issue
2007-07-31 07:05:59 · answer #6 · answered by Kate S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the way you can have a say in the rules..is simply by following them....and doing always what you are told by your parents...
and then...after..mmm say 6 months or so...talk to your parents
or to the parent that made rule that you do not like...and you'll see..how that rule is flexed or dissolved ....because if you do not
do anything...just watch tv and eat.....you in for a book of rules
to be thrown at your face..lol...good luck
2007-07-31 07:07:36 · answer #7 · answered by Roberto D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It becomes theirs when its given to them, (usually by death , written in the will of the parents.) But the My house = My rules is very wrong. You should restrict teenagers from certain harmful activities but not too much. My friends parents were very strict and thats all they ever said to him. They restricted him too much and he commited suicide. Were breading killers and rebellions. I know it sounds weird but its true. By restricting them so much they rebel and sometimes commit crime to prove that they are in power.
2007-07-31 07:07:19 · answer #8 · answered by Jesus IS REAL 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think to say "its my house" means "I pay the bills and do most of the cleaning etc". Im sure things change once those kids are contributing.
2007-07-31 07:06:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If parents and teens would compromise every once in awhile there wouldn't have to be so many rules.
That is the trick, when do you compromise and when do you put your foot down?
My daughter and I have a very lucky household.
2007-07-31 07:05:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋