My boyfriends mom(Jane) and dad(Joe) are divorced and have been for at least 4 years. Joe was ordered by the court 2 pay Jane maintenance around $330ish I think a month, if she has her OWN place. For almost 2.5 years, she has been living with her boyfriend and is still receiving her maintenance. Joe found out that she had been living with her boyfriend and is now taking her to court, so he will no longer have to pay her, since she now lives with her b/f. The only thing is, she is asking her son (my b/f) to lie and say that she lives with him in our house. He first declined, but now she has him on a guilt trip and told him that his father lied to him, right to his face. Jane has done a lot of things for her son and is now basically DEMANDING he lie to his father to "pay her back". Is it right for my b/f 2 lie 2 his father, just because Joe lied to him? 2 wrongs don't make a right! Is it right of his mother 2 demand he do this for her? I think my b/f should be left out of their mess!
2007-07-31 06:50:48 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Thank you for your opinions everyone! I have a few more details on the story. She is willing to pay my b/f (her son) money for him to say she lives with us. I don't understand why she couldn't keep the money she is willing to pay him, and give up her maintenance (I think she no longer deserves) and break even, UNLESS she is only doing it to spite Joe and his new wife, which I'm sure is the case here. When she does go to court, she is going to ask for MORE maintenance because she is pissed that she is being drug to court. I understand that he did her wrong (she says he cheated on her, and I'm sure he did) but when will this ever end? Doesn't she want her ex out of her life?
2007-07-31 07:02:10 · update #1
Wow, she needs to not do that.
It's between Jane and Joe, not including your boyfriend. Perjury doesn't quite look good either.
He should ask his mother to respect the legal and proper boundaries that are involved and take what she has coming.
What kind of example is "exploit the system"?
Bad, bad idea.
2007-07-31 06:56:28 · answer #1 · answered by chaoss13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, what happened between the mom and dad has nothing to do with the son so she shouldn't be dragging him into it. You are right about the 2 wrongs don't make a right. I don't think he should lie for anyone. I know that may sound bad but in the long run you only get caught. It's not right to lie to his father just because his mom wants him to. I wouldn't do it. His father will find out sooner or later if he does. Why not go ahead and tell the truth.
2007-07-31 06:57:07 · answer #2 · answered by Diane T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two wrongs do not make a right
BF's mother should NOT be involving son in this mess
BF should not lie to his father for ANY reason
Mother (Jane) must find her own way out of this without dragging any other party into the mess.
Jane sounds like a train wreck. I dont blame Joe for leaving her.
Just my opionions...
2007-07-31 06:58:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not right to lie. Once your on the stand, they will ask you will you will tell the truth and you have too, once you sit down. If you lie you can get in trouble by the judge. If they ever found out that your mom told him to lie, she could end up paying more a certain amounts of money. I know. I've been in Jury duty on a case that was like that.
2007-07-31 06:58:21 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I come from a home where my dad left my mom a few months after my mom was pregnant. So I can relate.
No, she is not in the right. Your son has absolutely nothing to do with this. She knows she is backed into a corner, and she and only she put herself into that situation. It's not fair to drag her son into something that he has no business being in as he will now have resentment towards both of his parents plus potential legal action.
She needs to grow up and take responsibility for her own actions.
2007-07-31 06:55:31 · answer #5 · answered by hockeydude062002 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I definitely think you're right. Just because joe lied to your boyfriend, lying back wont solve anything. I think its way worse that your boyfriends mom is making him do this, than the fact that joe lied. It may be hard but i think your boyfriend should not lie, because this is something between the parents and the mom shouldnt involve him at all.
2007-07-31 06:55:37 · answer #6 · answered by roundhead68 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your BF should stay out of this. He should not lie under any circumstances. His mother made her choices she's just going to have to live with them.
That being said, a judge might still rule in her favor. I just read a news article the other day where the ex wife was in a legal domestic partnership and the judge said that since she isn't married to the guy, she still gets alimony...
2007-07-31 06:58:05 · answer #7 · answered by LB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a lawyer and she needs legal assistance. If she can prove that she is paying rent as a roommate situation, she shouldn't have to pay him back. She is not legally married and even if she was roommates with someone else...it shouldn't matter. He just sounds jealous and trying to make things very difficult. Encourage her to get a lawyer.
Your boyfriend, her son has nothing to do with this situation. She could very well win this case if she has a good lawyer, especially if she can prove she is paying rent. The only time your boyfriend should step up is if her LAWYER asks him to testify. But it shouldn't come down to that. Paper work should be enough documentation!
2007-07-31 06:55:35 · answer #8 · answered by Erica, AKA Stretch 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm not sure how you fit in to the middle of this family situation, since you are not family. But since you've jumped into the middle with your mind already made up about who's done what to whom and who is in the right versus who is in the wrong, be prepared to find yourself on the short end of the stick when all of this is over & done with.
Bottom line, this is none of your (or our) business. It's between Mom & Dad. If one of them chooses to drag their son into the middle of it, then the waters get even murkier. But the courts will decide (you get no say in the matter) who is lying and who is telling the truth. If they decide a person is lying under oath (it's called perjury), then someone is getting fined and may be going to jail.
2007-07-31 06:57:07 · answer #9 · answered by kja63 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
kids shouldn't be put into the middle of their parents' issues.. in saying that Jane doesn't have the right to ask your boyfriend to lie... and your boyfriend's father doesn't have the right to ASK about his mother's living arrangements. if he wants to know, let him call Jane.
meanwhile, most of the time when a woman receives alimony (the $330), they are entitled to it until they get remarried. i never heard of living together with a man grounds to stop the alimony, or maintenance as you call it.
this problem doesn't belong to you; however, your boyfriend could think about telling his parents to talk with each other and leave him out of it -- and then ignore his parents when it comes to their personal problems.
they dont' belong to your boyfriend either...
i hope it works out. people are so petty, aren't they?
2007-07-31 07:04:46 · answer #10 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋