lately i felt there was something wrong with my relationship with her...she became different with me somehow..so i installed a key logger in our PC
today i found out that she had another email that i thought she didn't use anymore
the keylogger showed a bunch of conversations with different e-mails of people i don't know mostly men
they were talking about small things and it seems that they know each other from a long time
i know i made a mistake spying on her but my only excuse is i love her very very much
and now that i know she is hiding things from me i don't know what to do ...
please tell me what to do if you were me??
she lied to me before by saying she stopped using that e-mail long time ago i trusted her
but now i don't know what to do..or what to say.
2007-07-31 06:23:01 · 23 answers · asked by zak 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Im not sure what to tell you because I dont know her or the situation all that well. Hmm...I do think though that you need to sit down and have a talk with her. Dont get all jumpy on her though. You need to make her feel that youre not trying to dig into it, but to feel relaxed to be able to talk to you about it. If you dont aproach this in the right way she will put up a wall and you dont want that to happen. Be smart and play the situation in thought. If youre honest with her, she will be honest with you.
2007-07-31 06:30:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know it's upsetting, but I think sometimes this happens in marriage. If the e-mails seemed very benign, then I would keep checking up on her to see if anything else is said. If you confront her now, she'll only stop doing it because she was caught, but what will that tell you? If you're able to let her keep on doing it, then maybe you can catch her doing more harm. But is that really what you want?
I know the best thing would be if she didn't use that old e-mail anymore at all, but it's too late for that to happen. If you feel like confronting her now, just know that you'll lose out on getting a lot more information in the future. She won't trust you with anything for a long while (even though she's the one who lied) and it might make things a lot worse than you can imagine.
2007-08-08 11:12:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well what you did do was wrong and an invasion of her trust. Although this maybe the case you did find things out that put ur relationship in turmoil. I am being very hypocritical here unfortunately i did the same thing and found that my gf did cheat on me as well but w.e. You can't go on living like this man you need to find out what she is up to at any cost. Trust me you don't want it to go past the point of no return and wonder what if? Good Luck
2007-08-08 10:02:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK here goes. First do not tell her you spied on her but let her know that you are aware of something that she should come forth with. If she denies it, well here are your options. Drive yourself insane by expecting her behavior to change and always have paranoia keeping you awake. Spend a ridiculos amount of money to keep this relationship honest, through therapist and finding just the right one to tell you it's over. Or count your good memeories and know the relatioship has died and needs to be delt with accordingly. First time shame on you second time shame on me. But since you are awaer that this unhealthy behavior that causes you angst then if you continue this morbid form of fidelity then you deserve you feelings to be trampled on. Now if she is honest and gives you reason as to why then I would say spend the money to find a good therapist and work on your relationship.
2007-08-08 03:36:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you are spying on her PC activity says that the two of you already have problems.
If you think that the people on the PC are qualified enough to give you sound relationship advice then there is problem #2.
The only problem you have now is deciding who you care for more, if the answer is you, then you already know within yourself; what your next move is.
2007-08-08 11:42:50 · answer #5 · answered by pure conscience 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitely need to be honest with her and talk to her about the situation. Admit to her first you are sorry and feel bad about your doubts in trusting her. Hopefully she will feel the same way and you guys can work it out. I agree just be careful in how you bring it up, let her know you aren't mad but just want her to be honest with you, especially if it is something small like having another email and talking to old friends - she shouldn't need to lie about that to you.
2007-07-31 13:44:56 · answer #6 · answered by Afisha 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i definatly wouldn't confront her just yet on this beacuse you are snooping around where you shouldn't be, but at the same time you had reasons to do so........so.........i would print one of the letters out and then ask her about it and that way she can't lie. If she try's to throw it back in your face that you don't trust her, then you have the upper hand in saying you had GOOD REASONS to do what you did. All in all i think you should move on. Good luck
2007-07-31 13:37:03 · answer #7 · answered by PETEPUMA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront her and see if she lies. If there's no trust in the relationship, then you can never be truly happy. You don't want to spend the rest of your life thinking she's doing things behind your back.
2007-08-08 13:28:48 · answer #8 · answered by Jan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should confront her and see if she'll come clean. Explain why you spyed on her and that you feel that she can't be trusted. Wait and see if she has a legitimate reason. Don't blow up and give her a chance.
2007-07-31 13:29:15 · answer #9 · answered by lisha1351 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be like hey I logged on the comp and found blah blah and be honest. If she loves you and cares she'll tell you the truth. I dont think she would be mad...unless she was hideing something
2007-07-31 13:29:04 · answer #10 · answered by ♥M♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋