I have a terrible phobia I'm afraid. It's called, "fear of rejection", and it's ruining my dating life. I feel as if I actually talk to the guy I like who seems to like me back, he won't like me anymore & hate my personality. Will this happen? Everyone says I have a great personanlity & I'm sweet, but rather shy. So, I really don't know what to do. I'm terrified. Is this true? Would this happen to me if I talked to him? Plus I have another phobia. For some reason I'm obsessed with if I my breath is bad. I know it's not, but it makes me uneasy to get very close to people & talk. I'm a nervous wreck. What should I do?
2007-07-31 06:21:18 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Honey, this sound like insecurity.
As for ur date, do what u need to do to groom urself real good, so u can feel confident that u have done the necessary!
Go in with the mindset, " I am gonna have a great time. I look fantastic. I feel fantastic". Also, avoid anything artifcial, like fake talk, fake smiles, etc to impress the potential date. The reason being, if he is not comfortable with the real you, its not worth goin thru the trouble of the second date. Be confident, and believe it when ppl give you compliments.
:) Have a great date!
2007-07-31 06:34:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
What you suffer from is not a phobia but a social phenomenon called social anxiety. Both your aversion to rejection and the inordinate concern with your breath are just 2 of the many characteristics of this type of anxiety. You are not alone for there are many , many people afflicted with the same situation. It has to do a lot with your self-image and self-confidence. When people fear social contact it can be for a host of factors. In your case it is the preoccupation with being rejected for some personality trait or your breath. You have admitted that many of the people around you say that you are sweet with a great personality. You have to believe they are not just saying it to make you feel good, which it should any way, but because that is how they actually perceive you. A good way to get overcome your social anxiety without the aid of medication is to put a little sign in several visible spots around your house that read: I am beautiful, intelligent and my breath smells like roses! Read it every day as many times as you can. Repetition will embed a good self-image in your head. You've got nothing to lose by trying it! Besides rejection is an integral part of all any possible relationship. Go for it, the more you get rejected, if you do at all, will only strengthen you. Believe me once you don't get rejected you will start to see all this in a different light!
2007-07-31 13:43:47 · answer #2 · answered by SexRexRx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm quite shy too, but you know what? I'd rather be rejected than never have tried. At least if I'm rejected I know it wasn't a good match...if I don't try then I'm left forever wondering "what might have been". Who wants that torment?
What's the big deal about rejection? You won't die from it. If you don't know the other person that well it barely stings (you're think "well drat, I kinda hoped to get to know him"). Rejection isn't some horrid thing to avoid...it's a normal thing most people deal with (whether in dating or work or friendships, etc).
As for your breath, keep your teeth brushed, suck on a tic tac and get over it. Thats just sounds like an excuse to avoid people (fear of bad breath).
Perhaps you need professional counseling...but I really think you are making way more out of these issues than they are. Rejection is going to happen in your life...and you won't like it, but you'll find it's not the horror you seem to imagine it to be. You brush yourself off and think "better luck next time".
2007-07-31 13:26:52 · answer #3 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anger is just fear on the way out.....that is a quote from the movie "Flicka". Think about it.
Get mad at yourself for being afraid of the thing that is standing in your way. Prepare for battle!! ..Make that fear and phobia dissappear!
Stock up on tic tacs and altoids!! Buy some cute new outfits and enlist the help of a few gal pals for moral support!!!
Yes, it WILL happen that guys won't like you after they get to know you, but if they don't then it is due to the fact that your personality and theirs just don't mesh! Finding someone you truely clic with that really understands you is going to be hard when you are looking, but if you never give it a shot your are bound to be alone!
Happy hunting!
2007-07-31 13:28:35 · answer #4 · answered by lissabeth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most people have reservations about meeting others...that's why bars are so popular they sell liquid courage. I wouldn't worry to much about htese things, since the guy you want to meet probably feels some of the same anxieties. Use it as an ice breaker...
"I really am terrified right now because, I have never had enough confidence to approach anyone in this manner, so be nice to me".
2007-07-31 13:28:18 · answer #5 · answered by Brian M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fear of rejection is not a "phobia" you are just letting your insecurities take over your emotions.
No one is ever as ugly, smelly or unlikeable as they think they are.
Before your date, look in the mirror, smile, close your eyes, take a deep breath and tell yourself you are cute as heck and you are going to have good time, You will not worry about if he likes you, open your eyes, smile again and go have fun.
And stop worrying!! Worrying changes nothing!
If he likes you he'll call. If you like him, go out again. Nuff said....
2007-07-31 13:30:43 · answer #6 · answered by opinionator 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's called Androphobia which is the Fear of men ----this can be the fear of engaging in any activity or intimacy surrounding men. With this there is often a need for acceptance and a fear of rejection, mistrusting or feeling unsafe with anyone from the opposite sex.
2007-07-31 13:30:06 · answer #7 · answered by tdtrent04 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These are common phobias( if they are phobias) but they can seriously mess up your life. Since it's a little like "social phobia" I think it would be worth it to get a little counseling. These things are hard to change by yourself.
2007-07-31 13:29:25 · answer #8 · answered by bebop 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think you have a phobia. what you are dealing with is severe insecurity. i don't know how old you are but i would guess young teenager. muster up some courage and step forward. tell yourself you are just as good as everybody else and take that first step. hold your head high and smile. you can do it.
2007-07-31 13:38:02 · answer #9 · answered by deborah l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the adult world.
You must take risks in relationships, and sometimes you will get hurt, and other times you will hurt someone.
And we all have bad breath sometimes, there's no avoiding that either.
This is how life is. Instead of fearing it, rush headlong into it and see what surprises life has in store for you.
2007-07-31 13:26:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋