we have tried everythig we can think of to try and ease his mind......we have NEVER mentioned "the boogey man", he doesn't watch scary movies his father and i have no idea why he is so scared. we have even sprayed his room with "monster be gone" aka air freshner ( cause he thinks their are monsters in his room) we have told him more than once there are no such things as monsters. this has been going on for 3 years......
fast forward to recently.......the last few times we put him in bed.....long story short.....he sobs uncontrollably, he shakes all over litterally making himself sick....once i let him lay with me he calms down and falls right to sleep.
should i take him to talk to a therapist? we can't figure it out...it's progressivly getting worse.
he shares a room wih his brother but that does not ease his mind. i know he's not just trying to get his way. he's had me scared for him lately..HELP
2007-07-31 05:21:54 · 20 answers · asked by Jo 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
we leave his door open with a light on that shines in his room...it doesn't make a difference
2007-07-31 05:27:18 · update #1
lighthousetale24:
when he comes in our room he cuddles right up and is fast to sleep
2007-07-31 11:39:46 · update #2
It's possible that he may be afraid of the dark or that he is hearing sounds (creaking sounds from inside the house or noises from the outside). I would suggest that you sit down with him before bed and ask him what scares him so much to sleep in his room. If you have a hard time getting an answer out of him tell him that you and daddy are going to go through his room with him before he goes to bed to check to make sure everything is safe. (such as checking the closet and under the bed). Ask him if there are any other areas in the room you think they should check, you may be surprised at what he says. Then tell him that you have a special night light for him. To help with the possibly of him being frightened from "noises" I would suggest you set up a CD player in his room with soft music playing to drown out any of those sounds.
This may take a little while, but once you do it each night and he gets comfortable, it may help. Tell him you will be happy to leave the door open if that helps him not to be scared, and that you will be checking on him every 5 minutes to make sure he is alright. If he still isn't responding to these measures, I would suggest seeing someone. How does he respond when you put him in your room? Is he still freightened?
2007-07-31 06:56:27 · answer #1 · answered by Hannah's Mama 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Tough one! We have 4 kids and did the same - no scary anything while they were little. We had a few bad dreams, but nothing serious. If this doesn't calm down within the next week or so, definitely seek help.
I would suggest talking about what the problem is BEFORE going to bed and he's crying - you ask the questions and get him to answer at a time that is relaxed for everyone, like at dinner, or while the two of you play a game. See if he can communicate what he's afraid of. Then you should be able to reason with him. Mine aren't super receptive when they're tired or crying (as most kids aren't I'm sure) - so try to talk and reason while he's relaxed and happy. If you know what you're battling and what is bothering him, you're both going to feel relieved.
In addition to monster spray, praying with him and asking angels to come and be with him (my kids loved that! They would name and talk to the angels keeping them safe - it was great!), you can tell the scary things to leave and sound very in control and bossy. Do it with him in the room, during the day, before bedtime ever happens. Tell those things, "This is ---'s Room! You have no business being in here making him cry! I'm telling you to get out, right now! OUT YOU GO! and don't even think about coming in here again - You're gone, get out of this room and out of my house! You're never allowed in here again!" Tell him you can "see" them and they are gone and you watched it all happen - see if something like that works. We did this with bad dreams - I told the bad dreams to leave and the kids slept great after that.
Hope that helps! I really feel for you!
Lynnae
2007-07-31 06:24:05 · answer #2 · answered by Lamont 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
start off slow. my parents had to go this with my little brother. First my mom started to sleep with him in his bed for a few weeks. [my parents have been divorced forever] Just to get him used to his bed. Then start to transition out by reading him a story or staying with him till he sleeps make sure that they he knows that you'll leave a "night-light" on and leave the door cracked. Say that you'll leave your door cracked too so if he needs you in the middle of the night he can call you and you'll be there. After a while start to bribe or reward him. Tell him one day if he can sleep in his own bed you'll bake cookies together on the weekend or something or you'll buy him a small toy that doesn't cost much.Also make sure you give tell him how much of a big kid he's being...that always works. ...my mom is standing over me now and wants me to tell you that a male figure he might look up to like a friend from school or a cousin sleeping over could also help him get used to being in his room. hope that helps!
2016-05-18 23:28:11 · answer #3 · answered by arminda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Six years old is old enough to make him part of the solution.
Talk to him about his fears. Ask him if he believes them to be real or knows that they are actually unfounded. Ask him what he thinks will help. Try out different ideas every night.
Maybe sleep with some music? With a TV on?
How about if you sit in a chair beside him as he falls asleep?
Do you have a family pet? Can you train that pet to sleep beside him?
What about an earlier bedtime, while it's still light outside (of course, that's going to probably mean an earlier waking time for you)?
Maybe martial arts classes will help - if he knows he's empowered to defend himself if needed.
Brainstorm with him, during the day when he's calm. See what he's got to say & how you can help him to deal with this situation in his life.
2007-07-31 05:57:28 · answer #4 · answered by Maureen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start sitting in the room while he falls asleep. Read to him. Get a good long book and read a chapter a night, maybe the Chronicles of Narnia collection, for example. Move yourself further and further across the room and read from the hallway after a while.
He will tell you when he doesn't need help.
-Some children with attention deficit cannot calm their minds at night. Consider if this could be the case.
2007-07-31 05:30:09 · answer #5 · answered by oohhbother 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would ask him in the morning why he's so scared. Sometimes admitting the problem helps. Tell him everyone's here to protect him and there's no such thing as monsters. If comforting him doesn't help, get a therapist. There's probably a lot more to it than you think.
2007-07-31 08:00:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have a six year boy too and it is afraid of sleeping alone . well my husband works overnight during the week so i let him fall asleep in my room then i picking him up and taking him to his room. but i leave the night light on and the TV on and i tell him there is no such thing and i put this Thomas pillow by him and it guarding him. so if he is ever scared just hug his pillow. and i leave a light on that is in between our rooms and the bedrooms doors are always open. but if ur son is getting out of controlled take him to talk to someone (therapist o someone in ur family he trust) i wish u the best of luck.
2007-07-31 05:53:45 · answer #7 · answered by Daniela A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well spraying the monster b gone is kinda ingenious, BUT you may just have affirmed that there may be a possibility that they exist. You said he has a brother, is he possibly playing into these fears? I know when we were younger, we got a kick out of scaring our sister. I agree with another answer. I would sit with him until he falls asleep. Not on his bed, but in the room. It is possible that he has just gotten very comfortable falling asleep with you. Doesn't your bed feel empty when your husband isn't in it? Mabey you could get him a body pillow to cuddle with. My son went through this phase at age 4. We started a paper link chain on his ceiling. For every night he slept in his bed by himself, we added another link. When it touched his matress, he was allowed to choose a special gift at the store. Worked for us. Good Luck!
2007-08-01 06:04:35 · answer #8 · answered by lulu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u may have already done this , but this is what we did with our son... he slept in the bed with me till he was 3 b/c my husband was in the navy ,it was always just me and him.. well when my husband got out we put his bed right beside our bed and i held his hand till he fell asleep then after a while of that i moved his bed on the other side the room , then after a while of that we moved his bed into his room at first he didnt like it i would lay with him on his bed and read to him or just lay there till he fell asleep i did that for 2 weeks.. and now he sleeps in his own room just fine.. i do still read him a book or 2 every night .. but i always read to my kids at bedtime.... it took almost a year to get him in his own room b/c we took it very slow.. but it worked...he is also 6
2007-07-31 07:45:13 · answer #9 · answered by country_girl23 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u need therapist to help u and get the right information frm them. My nephew had this problem he like image how monster look like n he said is inside the room. But we do accompany to sleep for abt 3 year n last he now is 8 yrs old , he sleep his own.
2007-07-31 05:37:31 · answer #10 · answered by share 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋