I need some advice on an interesting relationship. A few months ago I meet a guy and we started "seeing" each other. (Sort of), Basicly, we had both said that niether of us wanted a relationship right now and that we would just keep doing what we were doing. Now, I am beginning to fall for him and I don't know what to do. He calls me everyday, we e-mail each other, he comes over. Hes like my best friend with benefits. We have had deep conversations about relationships and what we are looking for and we both want the same things, accept he won't let his guard down. He tells me all the time how wonderful I am and how much he cares about me. But its always stated that he doesn't want a girlfriend. What do I do, I am out of thoughts on this one.
2007-07-31 04:49:34 · 24 answers · asked by Me. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds like you are talking, and you need to communicate your feelings to him and see how he responds. Try and make it sound like a opportunity and not an ultimate. Just say you would be interested in taking your relationship to the next level if he is interested, I'll bet he is.
2007-07-31 04:53:00 · answer #1 · answered by Steve C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep in mind a relationship is a two-way street. Right now, he obviously does not want to "commit," so do not force it, or you will be the one who gets hgurt. You have two topions at this point: continue "as is" and wait for any signs that he wants to commit and you still want to commit, or give up the ghost now and move on in search of the kinbd of relationship you want. Quite frankly, if it is him you like and want,. then you will have to hope you can eiother change his mind gently (without forcing him) or that he will come around on his own. Love and relationships are always emotionally risky and this is no different. The one thing you should know is that while it may not seem like it, you are in control. You can determine how much emotion to "invest" in this relkationship as it is right now based on what you think the payoff may be. It is up to you and depends on how much potential hurt you want to be exposed to. It may be worth risking a lot, or it may not. That is totally up to you. Good luck!
2007-07-31 11:56:23 · answer #2 · answered by Writerman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HOW OLD ARE YOU TWO??? You didn't say. But girls are emotional and see a guy for a while and get all gooey and want that loving relationship. Guys--hey we want food--sex--sleep--a nice smiling face--then go fishing--fool with the car--football---baseball--sex---food---sleep--
Guys--especially this one--made it clear--no heavy relationship--HE WAS HONEST and that is nice. If you don't have the open communications or the ability to let this grow naturally--you might as well move on and find that serious thing that you are looking for. Emotional maturity comes with age.Guys do that later than girls do.So have fun--relax--smile--enjoy what you do have--there is NO finishing line--just take it easy and have some fun.
2007-07-31 12:23:59 · answer #3 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It almost sounds like you are already having sex with him, if so, that's why he is hanging around like a kid in a candy store.
If you haven't had sex with him, well then it sounds like he has a sincere interest in you but gets cold feet at commitment.
In this case one could come to the conclusion that you are an extra wheel............he may have more than one girlfriend that you don't know about.
Good luck with your pursuit P.S. If you are under 21, let him go and get your education out of the way.
2007-07-31 11:59:57 · answer #4 · answered by Shots_alot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off you started off on how a good relationship should start you have gotten to know him and him you now the hard part comes you have got to talk to him and let him know that you want more than just sex that you are falling for him and that if he cant give more that you are going to have to quit seeing him so you can move on...it will be hard but you have to know how he feels about it and a good relationship takes being open and honest its all up to how you handle it...he may choose to stay with you as a couple or he may say I'm sorry I'm not ready yet...if he does give it a couple of weeks of not seeing him or talking to him i think if he likes your stuff he will be calling and maybe changing his mind// good luck
2007-07-31 11:59:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give him benefits and come around looking good and let him know what you are looking for. You must be young and don't know yet that ladies make the rules. If a guy can get the milk for free he won't buy the cow. So be in charge and set the rules and he will be your love slave.
2007-07-31 11:57:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes, if you don't tell the people you care about how you feel about them, if you wait to long it's to late and their will be that question "what If", if you don't fess-up and express your feelings then you will never know,YOU WILL BE LIVING IN AGONY!! even if it doesn't turn out the way you wanted, at least you will have some peace of mind and be able to move on, live on and love on again, so look him straight in the eye and tell him your in love with him, it's the truth, because it comes from the heart, and if he feels the same and his hearts in the right place with it, he will confess his love for you, and don't worry, he will probably be just as nervous as you. ALL MY HOPES!!!
2007-07-31 12:03:10 · answer #7 · answered by trekkie1972566 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well for me i think the best thing to do with that is to manage to tell him your inquiries with regards to how you feel for each other...it's like being open with each other. it's hard for sure yet honesty will still save you both from the hurt and burden of the emotion and feelings that both of you are carrying..who knows if he also have the same fears and worries about getting into a relationship..the good thing about loving is that you just feel it regardless of how idealistic a person is...love is still an emotion that is unconquered...so love with out expectation and for once be brave enough to talk to him or lead him to a conversation that will lead you both to the answers of the heart..God bless you!!
2007-07-31 11:57:43 · answer #8 · answered by best_18 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like every relationship I had from the time I was 14 til I was 23. He isn't going to date you. If you dump him he'll find someone else. For a young man with options there is no reason at all to be monogamous.
2007-07-31 11:54:12 · answer #9 · answered by Tim 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was like that with some girl for a really long time. Until she left me for a while and i realized what i lost. Then when she came back into my life we started dating. She always tells me that she gave me a little boost. Now 6 years later we are happily married with 2 kids...
2007-07-31 11:57:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋