We were born in TX and moved to OR when I was 11 and he was 4. I moved back to TX in 2003 after being laid off. My brother came with me and we stayed at my grandmother's until I could find a place. We moved out and my brother moved back to OR because he couldn't find a job and didn't have transportation. Unfortunately TX has poor bus service, especially if you live in the suburbs. However, OR has an excellent transit system for just about anywhere you live. My brother has decided to move back to OR (after being fired from his job 2 weeks ago) and will be leaving this Friday. I am so crushed. We are very close and he is one of my best friends. We do everything together. It has not been confirmed that he is gay, but he is kind of like the girlfriend I never had. He helps me shop for furniture, decorations, clothes, etc. and he always listens to me and he never judges me. My husband and I have a terrible relationship. We are working on things, but I get no companionship.
2007-07-31 04:37:40 · 12 answers · asked by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My husband hates to shop and we can't do anything together without it resulting in an argument. I am going to miss my brother dearly. He said he was tired of riding with other people to work, and on his off days he was tired of sitting in the house. I mean we would get together and go shopping at least once a month, and it's like now I don't know what I am going to do. I am starting to meet new friends, however, nobody will be able to replace the relationship that me and my brother have. I am almost in tears as I write this message becaues I know once he leaves it's back to the pits for me. My husband doesn't spend any time with me doing family things, unless it involves his parents. The only thing we do together is go out to eat. I know I am being selfish but I don't want my brother to go because I am going to be kind of depressed because me and my husband don't get along ...
2007-07-31 04:40:26 · update #1
I just turned 30 in July and he will be 23 in November, just incase age matters.
2007-07-31 04:41:05 · update #2
It is normal to miss and be sad that your brother is leaving. Just now you both have to make it a goal to save and see each other as possible. Also look at technology today. He is always just a couple of clicks away.
2007-07-31 07:10:19 · answer #1 · answered by Pear36LL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know the feeling. My sister and I are best friends even though we live 5 hours away from each other, we get together a lot. In fact, she's coming to stay the weekend with me in 5 days.
Make sure you have cellphones on the same service provider so your calls are free.
In a way, I think it's good for him to be making his own way, though I wish he hadn't gone so far.
Your marriage, it makes me wonder, if there weren't three in the relationship (not in a sordid way). Maybe you became reliant on your brother for many of the companionship, conversation, working together, shopping together things, that you should have been doing with your husband. Maybe he felt left out. Maybe it didn't seem you had time for him after you spent time with your brother. Or maybe he was somewhat jealous of your brother because his wife was more in tune with another man.
Try this: now that your brother is gone, give your husband the opportunity to do the things with you that your brother would have done. And then you reciprocate and volunteer to do something with your husband that he wants to do. Do this slowly, because he won't understand this new leaf if the tree falls on him. Just here and there begin paying more attention to him.
A wise man said, before you are married keep your eyes wide open. Afterward, keep them shut.
You needed to look for faults when you were dating. Now that you're married you need to close your eyes to the little things that get to you. Just let it slide. With two exceptions: physical or verbal abuse and substance abuse.
If these are present, kick his butt out ASAP.
So much for my reputation as a sweet Texas mom, huh?
Debbie
2007-07-31 05:30:12 · answer #2 · answered by TX Mom 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it's normal! you are human after all, and humans have the capacity to feel, and these feelings change according to circumstances and personalities. what's more, he's your brother after all, and there is bound to be that unexplained bond that exists between you too!
i empathise with you, as i too have moved out of home. maybe, you could promise to keep in touch with each other, no matter where you are. say a phone call each day?
if you are into religion, it may alleviate (though not necessarily resolve) some of the issues? would you think too that your brother's going away is giving you a change to strengthen your relationship with your husband?
2007-07-31 04:48:35 · answer #3 · answered by dusty star 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My babies are not grown yet, they're in straight forward terms 13 and 15, so i can not talk from very own journey. I did, although, have the excitement of working with a mind-blowing lady quite a few years in the past who had long previous by using precisely what you're describing. She dedicated right here total 'profession' years to raising her 2 sons and getting them off to an outstanding start up of their person lives. Her husband grew to become right into a doctor, so as that they've been ok financially... so she made her kinfolk her profession. She caught to it long adequate to get her 2 sons by using medical college and out on their very own, then crashed no longer ordinary. She expressed to me that she did no longer comprehend whether to snort, cry, scream, get a activity, redesign the living house.... she did no longer have any theory what to do with herself and reported that she felt ineffective. So... she forced herself to think of roughly what she quite needed out of the subsequent portion of her existence, and ended up back in college. At age fifty 8 she gained her license to prepare pharmacy and loves what she does now. She does alleviation artwork, so she in straight forward terms works approximately 3 days a week yet nonetheless earns a healthful earnings. this delivers her the prospect to be around human beings and occupy a number of her time, filling most of the void that she'd felt initially. She did word that the sensation finally exceeded and that she discovered to love being an 'empty nester' now. whether i can not declare to have been the place you're, my suggestion may be to do an analogous. take a little time to think approximately what you go without of this portion of your existence. You deserve it... this is *your* time now. attempt to no longer look at this as a loss, yet particularly a clean and exciting journey which you're commencing up. ultimate desires to you, and that i'm hoping you're feeling greater powerful approximately issues quickly.
2016-10-08 21:50:56 · answer #4 · answered by bergman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ofcourse it's normal. You are extremely fortunate to have such a close, loving relationship with your brother. However,is your husband jealous of him. Sorry, just a question. Write,call and visit your brother as often as you can. Good luck.
2007-07-31 04:43:53 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its normal to be sad, especially when its someone that you are that close to, and considering this is your brother, then you have every right to be feeling the way you do. It was a huge loss to me when my brother moved from Ky to WI.
2007-07-31 04:42:21 · answer #6 · answered by emtb9 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is sad, for you want the depth of realtionship with brother that you want with husband
2007-07-31 04:41:27 · answer #7 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this in normal
2007-07-31 05:46:12 · answer #8 · answered by harold 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
control feelings
2007-07-31 04:40:42 · answer #9 · answered by keral 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
completely normal i would be sad too
2007-07-31 04:41:43 · answer #10 · answered by rubberducky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋