Christian women who believe in submission to your husbands: where does it end?

Question

I just read a response to another question where a woman claimed she "always" submits to her husband in every situation. Is there any exception to this? What if your husband makes a decision that you think is really bad, even wrong? Will you speak up? Will you still submit because in the end he's the man therefore he has the authority?

Miss Portugal&Africa: why doesn't it deserve a comment? I am having a hard time understanding this point of view and am asking for clarification from people who hold to it.

Answer 1

I do not understand this premise...the independent, free-thinker in me cannot wrap her brain around the concept. Wasn't slavery abolished? Of course, not all Christian women subscribe to this idea, thank gawd!

edit: I have a partnership with my husband; our life and our joint decisions (which are joint!) are not dictated by someone else or organized religion.

added: those who refuse to comment and clarify do not surprise me; it takes intelligence and independence to do that.
~For too many the word "submission" is taken literally. Which if taken literally means to yield ones power to another.

Answer 2

While I believe in submission, I do know that many people don't fully understand what that means. At least my revelation of what it means...

Wives submit to your husband. Husbands love you wives as Christ loves the church. I think the husband has much more expected of him.
So if he is loving me in this manner, it is probably a pretty good relationship. There are many times that my husband and I have agreed so no problem.

Then,,,, there are those times, that he hasn't consulted me or I disagreed with him. And those times were hard. I most def. spoke my mind when I had the oppurtunity, and I believe that he listens to me but sometimes did what he wanted anyway. And he accepted the repercussions, good or bad. Isn't that marriage?

I do know that my husband believes that I am his equal, and as we continue in our marriage trusts and respects my opinion. We have learned to communicate, and pay attention when we have a conflict over a big decision. We do nothing in a hurry, and that helps.

Submission is spiritual first, and it takes both partners to understand that. It is not a I am your boss attitude, or you are my servant. It is respect.

Answer 3

As a Biblical Principle applied to real life relationships, I think it would be awesome to submit - but I haven't found (in 36 years) a man worth submitting to. So, I'm not sure where it ends. But I think it's really a different type of submission than "Woman! You Do What I Say!!!!" - it is among the few women I know who believe in and practice submission to their husbands. I wish they were on here, they could explain it better.

Answer 4

I know a really funny and good story about that question but too long for here. Contact me if you are interested.
The moral basically is that a women's submissiveness and humility with the dedication to follow God's law first can bring out the true man of God she is looking for.
Please add to that patient and fore bearing.
A man's woman is the mirror of his soul. He sees his lack of humility and mistakes in your eyes.
You certainly have a right to voice your opinion after all it effects you too. You can even tr to reason with the numb skull. In the end be submissive. He will have to live with a mistake knowing he was the one that got uneven in the yoke.
He should also be following God's instructions on how to treat a wife. Love her as much as Jesus loves the church. Guys would you suffer and die for her?
This doesn't have to be an issue of contention. Communicate.
God Bless!

Answer 5

I often wonder that, too. What if he wants sex and she doesn't? What if he wants 12 kids and she wants only 3? What if she wants to further her education at college, or go to work, and he tells her she has to stay home and take care of the house and kids all day? Is she supposed to submit even if he beats, rapes, and humiliates her, or will God send her to hell if she demands a divorce? Do most men really want a submissive little mouse who walks ten feet behind him and keeps her head down all the time? There are women who really do take it that far, who have no life or will of their own and put up with all sorts of misery because of the Bible's teachings. This makes the Bible untrustworthy, a book to be discarded as primitive and irrelevant as we become more enlightened and concerned with equality.

Answer 6

I am in submission to my husband, however, if he were stupid enough to make an illegal or dangerous choice, I would not follow. I respect my husband and his position as head of the household but I'm also not an idiot. Why do you think so many marriages end in divorce? There is absolutely no respect for each others roles in the marriage. Women's lib did nothing for women but make them think they don't need a man and don't need to answer to a man, yet women complain all the time about men stepping up! You can't have it both ways ladies!

Answer 7

Personally, I cannot stand it when my woman outright submits to me; I expect any woman that I am with to be outspoken and intelligent. If she does not have a sharp tongue and a quick wit, I feel like I got jipped!
I was raised by Hippies and had Women's Rights pounded into my brain from my earliest memory.

That is not necessarily what works for everyone though. If abject submission works for a woman, and she know that she has other options, then it is her choice to submit.
I would like to counter your question with another one: Christian women who do not believe in submission to your husbands, where does it end? Loggerheads? Public confrontation? Divorce?

Marriage is about balance and working as a team; there are "spheres of authority" that complement each other. Who has control of what sphere gets worked out over time and sometimes changes over time.

Marriage is NOT a democracy nor is it a dictatorship. Both husbands and wives must have impute in the decision making process, but ultimately if anything is going to get done someone must be the one that takes initiative and makes a decision.

Answer 8

Good question, but you forgot to mention husbands are also to submit to their wives. Men need to take spiritul leadership of the family if he doesn't then the wife would be remiss not to take lead. Leadership doesn't mean the man is in charge of everything. His wife may be better at somethings than he is therefore she takes charge. For instance she might be better with the finances or better at leading family devotions. Every good leader delegates authority. When eve was created she was created as a helper and not a slave. She was taken from the rib and not the foot.

Answer 9

I'm not a Christian but I have to say that I don't even think my husband would find it mildly attractive if I was some submissive little wifey. Neither one of us is the "boss". We make decisions together, we respect each other and I don't think I could be with someone I didn't respect. Wanting someone to be submissive I can't imagine that there is any respect present.

Answer 10

oh wow....I can't believe I am answering this question. I used to believe STRONGLY that women should only submit if they had respect for the man in the relationship...be it marriage or other. That is the way the world thinks. I read a book called "Love and Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. It opened my eyes to what a marriage can become when doing things God's way. If you have never read this book...PLEASE do! I do want to say that I don't believe God wants women to be a doormat and allow abuse. I am a work in progress for changing my way of thinking on this. Great question!

Answer 11

Have you ever been in a vehicle where someone else was driving?

Let's say you were on vacation with a group of friends, or your family. Even if there were six passengers in the car, how many drivers were operating the car at the same time?

The driver would of course listen to the needs of his passengers, bathroom, food, a little stop simply to stretch everyone's legs, or perhaps to admire the view!

When in the Bible, the husband is COMMANDED to love his wife does that give him permission to tyrannically decide all things harshly? Or does it give him responsibility to take his wife's needs, feelings, and thoughts into consideration. Indeed it OBLIGATES him to do so.

That he then functions as the driver in a car, that listens to his passengers' needs and drive accordingly - only makes imminent sense. That God demands this setup is for us to obey!

Some women are more astute and intelligent than their husbands, and their husbands probably know this. Thus the 'driver' just listens a bit more careful when an important suggestion is made and perhaps ask why, etc.