I've had this on my mind for a few weeks now, my husband works 55-60 hours a week, just got a new job, that he says he likes, but i'm a homemaker! I have a 1yr old son (my hubby and I are against daycare) so I stay home, I run the errands, do the laundry, cook, clean... everything that needs to get done along wtih take care of our son. Well i'm around about 2 months pregnant, my hubby is excited, but now that i'm tired and have less energy, i feel guilty. I feel guilty being able to sleep till 9am when my son wakes, because my hubby gets up at 5:30. Why do I feel guilty? Is this just a hormonal thing? I feel as if I do nothing nearly compared to what he does for this family. Am I right to feel this way?
2007-07-31 03:06:50 · 11 answers · asked by Mommy of two :) 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
you're pregnant, you're tired and you need more sleep. that's totally fine. take it easy.
2007-07-31 08:23:49 · answer #1 · answered by vern01 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh honey no!! theres no reason to feel guilty! to the jerk who posted the first post; (well, and to you as well) he works 55-60 hours a week; yet you do so much more at home! the men who dont appreciate (and im sure yours does!!) what we do at home while they are at work; well, leave him home for even just 1 day during the week, with his "to-do" list; the grocery list, the errands to run, what needs cleaned around the house and to make sure suppers ready at whatever time... on top of taking care of kids?! i bet most men either couldnt handle it, or would appreciate a lot more. now, more directly to the first poster; how dare you cal her or any SAHM a fat, lazy person; our work as a sahm may not be as strenuous or "hard labor" as the men who work in construction, etc, but it really isnt as easy as it looks. back the the OP; my hubby gets up at 6, and i go back to sleep until my son gets up around 9 as well. i have his lunch made and ready for him, have his clean clothes out and ready; then during the day, make sure laundry is caught up, pick up all toys, feed and water animals, check/weed the garden, vacuum, wash floors (if needed) do all the dishes, and im sure more thats not popping into my head right now. on top of taking care of an 1 1month old and a 4 y/o. AND being 20 weeks pregnant. i just wish sometimes men would appreciate whats actually done when they arent here. my point being, i can understand why you feel guilty, and i assume its hormones; you really shouldnt beat yourself up over this. :) you do tons! maid, cook, nanny, nurse, teacher, and more!
2007-07-31 10:50:52 · answer #2 · answered by Sarah M 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I was pregnant I worked full time from 8-5 and still had to come home and cook, clean, & get my husband and other two kids ready for the next day. I did it all the way up until about 2 weeks before my due date. I didn't have the luxury of going on maternity leave sooner (I wasn't getting paid for maternity leave). When I was off for those 2 weeks or even on the weekends I would send the kids to grandma and grandpa's and just sleep. My husband was lucky if he got a homecooked meal! Every once in a while I would clean. I used to feel bad but than I thought about it and realized that I was growing life inside of me and if I didn't feel like cleanning then oh well. My husband would tell me to "relax and don't worry about it," so I did. It seems like your husband likes you staying at home and being pregnant, so he should't mind if you don't clean up and do as many errands you used to do.
2007-07-31 11:00:55 · answer #3 · answered by ღஜღSteph4rmTXღஜღ 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Being a homemaker is one of the most noble things a woman can do for her family. The today show calculated how much it would cost to pay someone to do everything a mom does as a stay at home mom. They come up with the figure of almost 300 thousand dollars a year. I mean a stay at home mom is on call 24 hours a day. So being at home is a good thing and not only that you should never feel guilty for being at home with your kids. In the end it will be better for your kids to be with you.
2007-07-31 10:40:50 · answer #4 · answered by Jessy 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Oh, I feel the guilt thing too once in a while. I am a SAHM too but, my husband tells me that I shouldn't feel that way. It is the only job that never gets a vacation! I love staying at home with my little guy. For one, it saves a ton on daycare and if you feel the need to have your older one interact, set up a play date or something. Hope I helped a little!?
2007-07-31 11:35:48 · answer #5 · answered by nickiearmywife 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your just feelin that way becouse your a good mother:).. your use to putting more effort in to something for you family.but its best you take it easy beign pregnant. i know its hard when you rpregnant cus i have 2 kids ages 3 and 4 and old est was onl 6 months old when i foound out i was pregnant again. I myself felt guilty for not being able to get things done as well. I think it also can be in additon to the hormons too. I always felt a bit helpless at times and sad that i couldnt fo wha i normaly did. enjoy your pregnancy...... kids grow toooo fast now a days
2007-07-31 11:59:26 · answer #6 · answered by chonice_b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he works 55-60 hrs a week, but gets to leave his job, come home or go out with famliy/friends. he has a very stressful job, i'm sure, but he has the option of walking away at the end of the day.
your job is MOM and you don't get to clock in/clock out...you're always "on the clock". even when you get the rare break for a bubblebath or lunch with a girlfriend or Girls Night Out, your mind is still on your kids. you don't get breaks unless dh is willing to care for baby or you can find a babysitter.
you don't get paid in the conventional way($) but i'd take your job over his in a second (and i have...i'm a sahm too)
b/c when you get paid, it's soooo much better than $....it's kisses and huggs, and i love yous. it's pictures that your child drew of you as super woman. you get to be there for all the milestones. it's the way your child asks for advice when he/she is all grown up.
so don't waste this time feeling guilty...you'll miss all this good stuff! if you can, invest in a camcorder...we received one as a gift and i am so thankful. we have so many memories that i have recorded and shared with family and friends. and 20 yrs from now, when my daughter is all grown up with a family of her own, i can pull this out for family night and we can watch her growing up all over again.
2007-07-31 10:32:54 · answer #7 · answered by Green Is Sexxxy 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why do u feel guilty..i don't get it...you are taking care of the home front..while your man brings home the bacon..that is the life i wish i could have....
How about this....i work 9-5...this my daily routine
7:20 drop her off for breakfast at school...cause guess what i have no time to make a home made breakfast which she deserves
i get back on the train and head to work 9-5....when im done with my day i pick her up at 6:00 rush like a mad woman to get home by 7:00 rush to make dinner, help with homework, and take a bath...sometimes we get to bed at 9:00 if we are lucky.....M-F Saturdays we go to soccer which eats up most of our day....Sundays she goes to sunday school which gives me time to clean the house, do laundry and get ready for the week....I feel guilty cause she doesn't see her father(his choice) and i don't have enough quality time to spend with her.....
would you rather that type of life?
2007-07-31 10:21:53 · answer #8 · answered by spice g 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I feel guilty a lot. But then I realize that my husband comes home from work and his day is over. Mine never ends. Iam mom day and night.
Not to mention that being pregnant is a full time job on your body.
2007-07-31 10:18:02 · answer #9 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No not at all. You are the cook, the nanny, the maid, the errand runner, the bookkeeper! You do alot and you are raising children that is the most important job of all. You should feel good about yourself. I always wished I had a stay at home mom (and so did my she)!
2007-07-31 10:15:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Hun, I only wish I could be in your situation. I am positive that man appreciates coming home to a safe child, clean home, no errands he needs to run, and probably a good home cooked meal. Trust me, if you asked him to switch he might cry. My fiance is searching every option for me to stay home.
2007-07-31 10:32:41 · answer #11 · answered by Cash, Gage and Jax's Mom 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋