We are having a last minute wedding and I have been trying to plan for an outside venue. I found a small arboretum where we can have it but it is $250 and everyone will have to be standing during the ceremony... so it will be a kind of relaxed instead of really formal affair, even though we will be wearing a traditional gown/suit... $250 is kind of steep for a short cermony (15-20 minutes) but I don't really care about that.
The only thing I am worried about is guests will then have to drive about 20 minutes to the reception. Is this a big deal?
Am I crazy to think an outdoor wedding on Sept 1 or 2nd is a good idea. I am soooo frustrated because my mom and my fiance are both against this.. she wants the wedding in a church and all he is worried about is the reception and whether we are going to have a dj! (I don't know why he is hell bent on a dj and no one, no one needs to see his dance moves! lol!) This arboretum is the best I can do on a shoe string budget at the last minute!
2007-07-31 02:50:58 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If you and your hubby to be want an outside wedding and you are doing all the work, then go for it!!!
My wedding was a very small casual outside wedding. It was done up at the last minute and he & I paid for the whole thing ourselves. The weather was perfect and we loved it.
If he doesn't want an outdoor wedding, you need to sit down and talk to him. You need to find a way to compromise. Have the wedding indoors and the reception outside. Here in New England, outdoor weddings are very common and awesome!
2007-07-31 02:53:41 · answer #1 · answered by Erica, AKA Stretch 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about the drive -- really it isn't a big deal.
It sounds like your fiance doesn't care whether it's outdoors or not, so the thing to do is put down a deposit for the arboretum and then calmly sit your mother down and explain what you want. Maybe there is a compromise to be reached - a religious component to the ceremony, or getting your family minister to perform the ceremony, etc. Explain how important it is for you to look back on your wedding day and not have regrets, etc.
My actual concern is about everyone standing during your ceremony. Having never been to a ceremony where this happens, I'd be a little worried. You want people to be relaxed and comfortable and focused on your ceremony, not their aching feet. Remember that even a short ceremony will have time before and after during which people are waiting, etc....so if you add 15-20 minutes of "gathering" time as guests are arriving (some guests will end up arriving 30-40 minutes early, in my experience) and 20 minutes or so after as people are figuring out carpooling to the reception, etc....you could end up with your guests on their feet for an hour or more. And that isn't even including just regular delays like the minister or a bridesmaid getting caught in traffic, etc. If people are seated, a small delay doesn't matter, but if they're standing in high heels -- they notice.
At the very least, have a few folding stools for the elderly -- and maybe include an insert in the invitation (or on the "wedding website" if you have one) that advises people to wear comfortable footwear.
2007-07-31 03:10:49 · answer #2 · answered by ay ya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as I am concerned, it is your wedding, not your mothers and If your fiance is just worried about where the DJ will be, than why does he care about the arboretum ceremony? I think you should just say, this is what I want to do, and do it.....like I said it's your wedding! Don't settle for anything you don't care for 100%, I made that mistake and I wish I would have done a lot of things different with my wedding, which was planned in 3 months! Although I wouldn't want to spend that kind of money for 20 minutes, or have my guests stand durring the ceremoney, I don't think 20 minutes is that far to drive! If the reception is 20 minutes from the majority of the guests homes then you should work on getting a block of rooms available at discount rates for the guests that drink and want to stay. If you are concerned about having the wedding of your dreams you may want to concider extending your engagment about a year or so.....LOTS TO DO, SO LITTLE TIME!
2007-07-31 03:06:38 · answer #3 · answered by runzwsizorz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, your fiance' is very smart in insisting on a DJ. Even though you are on a tight budget, people are going to remember the food, the DJ, and the alcohol. Trust me...I spent over 30 grand on my reception, and that's all anyone still talks about.
Second of all, this isn't your mother's wedding. You may want to ask her why she is so insistent on a church wedding. If there are certain aspects that she highlights on, try to somehow incorporate them into your outdoor ceremony. Just remember...when push comes to shove, it's your call. If she is so bent on a church wedding, SHE can pay for it!!
That being said, your guests are going to be BURNING UP at your wedding...if you are lucky enough to have sun!! September is the worst month of Hurricane season, and the storms are NUTS!! I was a September bride, and we almost lost the church two days before the wedding because of a storm! Even if it's sunny, it is going to be BLASTED hot. As a courtesy, I would make sure that the "guest area" of the arboretum is shaded, and provide your guests with fans. I always dreamed of an outdoor wedding, but I decided there was just too much to risk.
If you don't mind me asking, why are you having such a quickie wedding? When you marry someone, you say that you are going to "love and honor them" FOREVER...this means that, in another few years when you have time and money to plan, you can have the wedding if your dreams without the hassle. Don't let the excitement end up ruining your big day.
Bets of luck and congratulations!!
2007-07-31 04:17:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, this is YOUR and your fiance's wedding, the only opinions in this that should matter are yours and his. You only get married once (or you should anyhow).
We have to remember that although the day is all about YOU, it's really not all about you, it's about your future marriage and I assure you that your wedding day is NOT the marriage.
I would sit down and try to compromise with your fiance, or your going to start your marriage off on the wrong foot.
Honestly these are all miniscule issues here to be fighting over.
How about compromising? Is there a church with an outside Gazebo, where the preacher could perform the ceremony? That way it would be outside, but still on Church ground. That is if your mom is paying for the cermemony, if you are paying for it, have it wherever you both choose.
As far as the reception, it's quite normal for guests to have to travel a little bit. Don't dismiss how your fiance feels either, we had a terrible DJ at our reception and although it didn't ruin the reception (because we weren't so fickle to let it) it wasn't the best. Search around first.
Your wedding day is ONE day, it takes months to plan and in a wink it's over. Hopefully your marriage will last much much much longer. God bless!
2007-07-31 03:02:37 · answer #5 · answered by dixi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not crazy to have an outdoor wedding, and your venue sounds beautiful. 20 minutes isn't too long for guests to drive for the reception. Just make sure you have some chairs for elderly, handicapped, pregnant guests, and the rest will be fine standing. We are a wedding officiant service, and outdoor weddings are beautiful, relaxing, and generally less stressful than indoor ones. You may have some handheld paper fans available, and maybe even a cooler of drinks. Get the DJ for your fiance, have your wedding where you want it, tell your mom that outdoors can be closer to God in many ways, have a religious reading if it makes her feel better and you are comfortable with it, and then enjoy your day! Best wishes!
2007-07-31 07:46:16 · answer #6 · answered by LoveWithNoBoundaries 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a licensed Officiant and I just performed a wedding under a sycamore tree in a park. Why?? Because that's what the bride wanted. The groom of course had some say , but yours seems to be interested in the DJ so I dont think he cares one way or another. I am a little concerned about the cost ofr the arbotareum. That seems a bit steep if they arent providing any other services. Have you thought about renting an arbor from a party store and just having the ceremony on the banks of a river or somehting.
Also if you like, contact me and I will even send you an outdoor ceremony. I have 2, one is a christian ceremony and the other is spiritual.
Bottom line is that you should choose what you want. Not what others want This is the one day of your life that wasn't meant to please anyone but you.
Good luck
2007-07-31 03:27:33 · answer #7 · answered by psstoffagain 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It depends on where you live. If there is a good chance youre weather is pleasant and cooler (as in no hotter than 76 degrees), then do it! In Florida, however, Sept 1st is the height of the rainy season at the time you get married, with afternoon thundershowers. I know it is cheaper to get married outside, but the comfort of your guests should be the priority. Even though it's 'your day', you wouldn't want your guests to be uncomfortable and secretly grumbling about having to stand around outside and sweat for 20 minutes in their wedding best. You have to remember that they will get there anywhere from 15-20 minutes early, so it won't just be a '20 minute ceremony' for them. By the time it's over, it will likely be a full hour. I know if it's hotter than 80 degrees, I'd be in a foul mood after sitting outside in my dress clothes for an hour. Have your mother help you pay for it since she thinks it's such a bad idea...
I wouldn't worry about the 20 minute drive to the reception, just make sure you reserve the motel closest to the reception area.
2007-07-31 03:13:12 · answer #8 · answered by julie m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
20 minutes to the reception site is nothing, in my opinion! I've been to weddings where I've had to drive up to an hour to get from the ceremony to the reception. I have never been to a wedding where I've driven less than 15 minutes, so I doubt 20 minutes is going to be a problem for anyone!
That said, this is up to you and your fiance, unless your mother is paying for it. Sit down with him and come to a compromise. Maybe tell him that getting married outside has been your dream and see if he'll accept that. Maybe you could give up something else in exchange.
Also, depending on where you live (ie: North America or Australia...) then September 1 is still summer! So unless you live in an area where it rains a lot during the summer, I don't think you're crazy for wanting an outdoor wedding!
2007-07-31 02:57:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
A 20 minute drive to your reception site isn't far, no need to worry about that.
Your outdoor ceremony sounds BEAUTIFUL. The only one who needs to okay it is your fiance, not your mother. No, you're not crazy, I have known people to get married at the beginning of September and have a fine day. Just know that depending on where you live it could be VERY warm. If it's just a short ceremony, I'm sure you and everyone else can handle it for the 20 minutes.
And why not have a DJ? Music is what makes a party! Just keep a tight reign on your new hubby LOL. It's probably be just as bad as my fiance dancing.
2007-07-31 02:56:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
$250 is not unreasonable for ceremony venue. 20 minutes is not an unreasonable amount of drive time between the ceremony and reception. Your fiance is a typical guy and most of them are really concerned about the music at their wedding. Get him a DJ that he wants, he actually has an opinion about something in your wedding. Do you have any idea how rare that is? Give him what he wants. Since you know what you want for your ceremony and your fiance doesn't you'll have to work that out. If his only objection is that there is a 20 minute drive to the reception that's nothing and I say go for it. If he has other objections, like I said you'll have to work that out.
2007-07-31 05:16:54 · answer #11 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋