Is having bi-polar disorder an excuse for poor behavior in a 33 yr old?

Question

Got pregnant on purpose, never told the father, different man on B.C, right guy comes into life and then the mother makes total chaos for man and his wife and other children after not knowing about this other child for 2 years. ( I am the wife of the father and am sick of putting up with pshyco mom.) The mother also got her kids taken away from her and now her mom is enableing her and is still calling her a good mother and that it's just that she's bi-polar. But this diseased one was smart enough to go to collage and she gets dissability pay from the government she claims she to mental to work. it makes me furious

Answer 1

If you find it hard how do you think she feels. I am bipolar and unable to work its not an excuse but as you don't have bipolar and clearly have no understanding of what its like to live being bipolar everyday day in day out you can't talk. Yes I am OK to study and yes I do a volunteer job but that is a lot different then being full on working and being under so much stress that I can not cope. I do know that being bipolar is not an excuse for not looking after your children as I have 4 wonderful children that I care for day in day out and love very much. Maybe its not the bipolar that makes her do some of the stuff that part is just an excuse on her part.

Answer 2

Ok, first I have to say that people with bi polar are NOT sociopaths. What a loathsome thing for someone to say. I have bi polar disorder and I can tell you that I would NEVER kill a dog! I don't even kill bugs! If this is true that kid has way more issues than bi polar. This is not bi polar behaviour. This is something far worse. The issue needs to be addressed NOW. He could end up hurting a person next. It's bad enough a dog had to die, what's she waiting for??? Just because he's bi polar doesn't mean he doesn't know right from wrong. Some one needs to teach him the difference.

Answer 3

To some extent it is. To some extent it is not. Bi-polar is a pretty serious mental disorder that is characterized by severe mood swings. One of the symptoms is mania, during which a person reaches the highest of highs, becomes very motivated, and can accomplish great things. This could explain her ability to get through college... but mania can also cause mental instability, rash decision-making, and erratic behavior. These episodes of mania are interspersed by the most severe depression, which can cause suicidal thoughts, the total lack of motivation, and despair. These mood swings can really do some major damage to a person's psyche, self-esteem, and stability. I would not be so quick to judge her if I were you.

BUT...

It still does not make bad behavior right. My question is this: does she get treatment for the bi-polar? There is medication out there for this, therapy, exercise treatments, counseling, and many other forms of treatment. Bi-polar has no cure, but with the proper treatment it can be controlled for the most part. Open communication with the doctors is a must. If she is not seeking proper treatment for her disease, and it IS a disease, then she is being irresponsible and you have a right to be angry. But what can you do about it? Best deal with it in an adult, mature manner and move on with your life. You can't make her stop being bi-polar, and you can't make her seek treatment. If you have difficulty dealing with this, you might consider getting some counseling yourself. It is a tough situation to be in, and you can use all the help you can get. Good luck!

Answer 4

Unfortunately, people have excused her behavior all her life and therefore she knows nothing else. Also, bipolar people are extremely selfish, or narcisstic, and they do not care about those they hurt. They are also very manipulative, and know how to work everyone around them, even people who dislike them. Bipolar people, if diagnosed, should be on a couple different medications, however, most only take the "happy pills" and forego the essential ones, making them that much more impossible to deal with. Families usually give in because it is easier to deal with than giving them "real" consequences if they do not take their medications. i know this because i lived with my sister as an adult from 15yrs until 30yrs old, taking care of her kids, because my mom said someone had to, and she just "couldn't" because she's sick which is bull----, because when she wanted something she sure knew how and when to get it. Bipolar disease makes you have high and low mood swings, but does not make you lie, cheat, and steal, so yes, it is an excuse. Hope this makes you feel better.

Answer 5

My family has a history of bi-polar and mental disorders.. I actually sought therapy recently because I feared I was crazy ! After some assesment I found that since my family history runs so deep with mental illness I being the normal one felt very alone in my "normal" thinking and ways of life.. Always being berated and belittled for being who I am which is the "normal" down to earth, not a drama queen one... So, I can totally see where you are coming from- That type of personality thrives on drama and creating drama for themselves and others.. It's like a game or amusement only ,they are the ones getting the enjoyement.. While it is possible to function in day to day life- it does need to be treated with medication as well as therapy.. Meds don't work alone. Most often people who are bi-polar have this "needy" type A personality that are very controlling but, needy so it throws a "normal" person outta whack.. The "normal" person will see someone in distress or in need of help and come to their aid... It's like a pitfall, the more you aid them the worse they become.... They become unable to care for themselves or the people they "claim" to care about.. I have a bi-polar, mother, sister and a half-brother.. For yrs. I struggled to be myself living with insanity.. One minute things were hunky dory the next I was the object of jokes, ridicule and put downs.. I unlike the rest of my family are overweight, I got the fat gene, not the crazy gene ! Fat can go away but, crazy is forever ! While my mother, brother and sister can live in normal society they all have the "needy,save me " thing. For my sister it works to her benefit she finds lowlife men to take care of her and she gets by for now on her looks.. My mother is married and her husband my step-father always has to "save her" from something or someone.. Nothing is ever her fault it's always someone else's it gets aggrivating and annoying considering 99. 9 % of the time she's the one to start an argument.. So, he is effect is her "enabler".. My half brother he can't do anything for himself.. He's almost 21 and living with my parents, he got a stripper pregnant and moved out of state.. He feels he's done nothing and everyone else is the problem he's been in/out of jail and a problem since birth.. My parents don't see the problem they just bail him out and do everything for him. There's really not a whole lot you can do- You are married to the father of the psyco? That's right? I think.. .The father, your husband needs to accept that he's the rational one and that she will not change. He can only do what he feels is right and ignore her "behavior". Not react to it, that feeds the fire... Good luck and I hope a little bit of insight has helped...

Answer 6

Wow! That's awful! I must admit, though, that bipolar people can be the most frustrating people to have in your circle of acquaintances. Some of them do well on medication, so I don't know if this person is just not taking her meds or if she just isn't responding to them. Sometimes it can take years to find the right combinations and dosages. And bipolars can have periods of time when they function normally, like she apparently did when she was in college. Bipolar doesn't necessarily show up early in life. It can hit in the 20's and 30's.

However, since you are connected by your husband's child, there are really only two alternatives. Either divorce your husband or accept the fact that she will always be involved in your life.

Answer 7

This is a personal oppinion. My mother is bi-polar and she also likes to use it as an excuse for her behavior to me and my siblings. I do not believe it is an excuse, with the meds (if you take them) you can function like any "normal" adult out there. being bi-polar is a handicap that is no doubt, but there are alot of people out there with a handicap and theres two different kinds of people. 1.) the ones who let it take over them and they feel sorry for themselves or use it as an excuse to not face reality. or 2.) the people who learn their weakness and how to overcome them. If your husband is the father (if i understand right) he can patition to take the child and have a restriction order placed on the mother if he proves she can not take care of the children (it's been done many times to bi-polar parents b/c they often have violent streaks) and you can be done with her. If thats not the road he chooses to take you may either not having anything to do with her or the child, or other then getting her commited if she doesn't stay on her meds, you can't do much of anything. I'm sorry, i know this is difficult b/c this women is using her disability as a crutch... unfortunetly there are many people out there who do this

Answer 8

I'm sorry to tell you, but Yes, Bi-polar disorder can result in some really extreme behaviour. If the person is properly medicated they can be fairly stable, but the meds often need adjusting over the years. This need is made known by roller coaster emotions and behaviour.


You'd do well to read up on the condition, so you can better read this woman. The better you read them, the easier it is to anticipate behaviour and either head it off or react pro-actively.

Answer 9

Being bipolar is not an excuse for this behaviour, but it certainly explains it. Bipolar is a big deal. Some people believe they are religious figures and are invincible, such that getting pregnant and not telling the father seem like quite minor displays of the VERY SEVERE disorder

Answer 10

Bipolar individuals can go to college because it does not equate with unintelligent. If she get disability pay then a professional has given her a diagnosis that is acceptable by the government. You are being too hard on her. It could be much worse. There are bipolar individuals who have committed serious crimes and gone to prison. It is difficult for the average person to understand this mental illness, but make no mistake, it is a mental illness.