How do you explain to a 4 year old (who says he is in love with his 4 year old girlfriend) that they really can't get married just yet???
They are always kissing, and her parents (who are Roman Catholic) are taking the right royal hump... They think their daughter is being led astray... SHEESH!!!
My son has said that he WILL marry this girl... But I just can't find the words to explain that things are likely to change over the next 12 years or so...
So, anyone had this kind of dilemma before??? And how did you handle it???
2007-07-31 02:30:37 · 11 answers · asked by ? 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Can't limit contact, they go to pre-school 5 days a week and 8 hours a day together... They are in the same class... They are do to go to Primary School in September, and she is off to a Roman Catholic All Girls School, so he may never see her, unless they meet up in the local supermarket!!! :D He has been cheating on her, with older women (5-18 year olds)... All he needs to do is wink and say "hello, pretty lady" and they are hooked... ;)
2007-07-31 05:05:52 · update #1
Why worry? He's only 4 years old. Why do you have to explain to him that things may change over the next 12 years? Just let him enjoy himself as a young innocent child and he will grow out of it.
Failing that, start saving for the wedding now, and at least you can't say he rushed into things when he marries her when he turns 16!!!!!
2007-07-31 03:29:37 · answer #1 · answered by Emma W 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
OMG wow!! Talk about some families being anal and literal, huh? Well, I guess I would try to curb the kissing (hard to do with curious 4 year olds, I know) and maybe try to suggest (when the marriage talk emerges) that right now they can just be friends. I think simplicity is the key in getting this to resolve because you can't be too complex with children of that age...they just won't "get it" As a last resort, you may have to limit the amount of time they spend together to help cut the emotional ties that they have!!
As for you....good luck with the parents of the little girl....you have your hands full there (with your possible in-laws ha ha--sorry had to laugh) :0)
2007-07-31 02:37:39 · answer #2 · answered by mikeluvsginger 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I can see how they would be concerned about the kissing, especially if we are talking adult like kisses open mouth. I have a four year old little girl and she has a " boyfriend".
They play together and he has even proclaimed that he is going to marry her someday. (Yah, well we'll see, lol)
I will have to say that although kids are curious, as adults it's up to us to draw the limits.
What type of kissing are we talking about here? Pecks on the cheek or rollin around on the floor making out? Let's use our heads here and figure out what is appropriate behavior in this situation.
I tell my child that her kisses are for her future spouse, like her father and I. I don't believe it would be smart or appropriate for me to encourage adult behavior in children, especially so young.
I would set some boundaries. There is cute, and then there's way over the edge. I was proud of my four year old daugher when she hauled off and smacked her boyfriend for trying to kiss her at Walmart the other day...afterall, he didn't even ask her permission! Way to go young lady, lol.
2007-07-31 04:02:31 · answer #3 · answered by dixi 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My niece at 6 yrs said to me 14 yrs that she was going to marry me when she grew up. And so did my daughter around the same age a few years ago, they both liked to kiss and hug me loads then. then they grew up and it wasn't cool to be seen let alone hug a parent.
Its not really a big deal. its been afew years, but I'll get over it. LOL. Their not a problem, it is the other parents that have the hump. But you have to respect the other parents wishes. the only thing you can do is for your boy and the girl to separated. but might make things worse.
2007-07-31 05:02:05 · answer #4 · answered by Kurt T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
have a small "engagement" party. Children are little people with real feelings, dont try to minimize his feelings by "playing along" or by teeling him that things are likely to change, imagine how would you feel if somebody would tell you that you are not going to marry the person you love? . Explain what the engagement is, and do not deny the possibility that they might end up getting married at all. I am a kindergarten teacher and things like this happen among children, you can not change the attitude of the parents of your sons little girlfriend, but you could explain to him (your son) that her parents dont really like that much kissing and offer an alternative sign of affection; like holding hands or small kisses on her hand.
2007-07-31 04:42:19 · answer #5 · answered by algunalguien 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Four years old and we are worried that they may run off and get married?!! I would say to him that he may some day but it isn't happening now. I just wouldn't make a big deal about it. Kids do these sort of things. They watch older people and think this is what you do. The other parents are overreacting.
2007-07-31 02:43:03 · answer #6 · answered by Simmi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I'd tell him that her parents don't like him kissing her & ask him to stop that. It's about being polite & respectful to others.
Secondly, I'd tell him that he is not legally allowed to marry until 18, but do nothing else to try to dissuade him from his intentions. Time will take care of that. And, if they are still planning to marry when they're 18, they will have such a strong, wonderful love story to tell, won't they?
2007-07-31 03:46:21 · answer #7 · answered by Maureen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh, bless his heart, that's the CUTEST EVER!
What a little charmer you have! I'd say then in that instance let them have a pretend wedding service! Cut up some tissue paper and let them have it as confetti, that sort of thing.
Her parents surely need to see that at their age its all totally inncoent and there's nothing in it that can lead their daughter astray.
2007-08-03 12:56:13 · answer #8 · answered by Loulla 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG How cute is that! why are some people so anal about things!
how innocent these kids are why spoil it!
You gotta love the stubbornness! suppose you could stop them seeing each other so much, but it seems a shame to me!
2007-07-31 02:42:45 · answer #9 · answered by Carrie Bradshaw wannabe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have fun with the kids. give them a little play wedding. After this year girls will be yucky anyway.
2007-07-31 02:40:52 · answer #10 · answered by knowitall 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋