My Strict Mother?

Question

How can i deal with my strict mother?
Im in my early teens and my mum isnt making it easy for me. Last week was the local police patrolled dance party that everyone goes to ,I wasn't allowed and she didnt say why.
I cant travell by myself except to school and back on the local bus and she gets mad when i talk about having a boyfriend.
I know she has a strong right of concern to a certain extent and some people on here will tell me off but how can get her off my back so that we can both get along and be happy and let me do some things by myself sometimes as i know im getting older these days .

Any advise appreciated!

Answer 1

Shes really over protective over you, cause she doesn't want to loose you. If you are an only child than its probabally the reason. Try talking to her, that might help a bit. Good luck!

Answer 2

More details needed. You didn't tell us any instance of a Mother being overprotective or strict.

However, if you feel your examples are examples of that, you need to refocus your energy. What you decribe is that of a Mother who CARES. There are millions....millions....of kids who don't have a parent who cares.

Instead of trying to get your Mother to back off, take a minute and be thankful that your parent loves you.

Remember back to when you were 5. Do you remember a time when you wanted to finish off a box of cookies or run in the street and your Mom wouldn't let you. Made you pretty mad probably and you didn't understand why. I'm telling you, from experience, that every ten or 20 years, you'll reflect back and see how silly things were when you were immature (like at 5). What you need to see is that even though you feel older and wiser, you still have alot to learn. What seems important now, will seem silly or even ridiculous later.

Please try to understand how much your Mom loves you. A strong relationship comes from trust and respect. And that goes both ways. You aren't respecting her right now so she's not going to respect you. Good luck.

Answer 3

When it comes to a dance party that the police have to patrol, she does not have to give you a reason to not let you go..

Since you are an early teen I would keep to myself your idea of wanting a boyfriend..

She is worried about pervs and killers, that why the going anywhere alone other then school . Hopefull it will pass as you get older..

Maybe ask her if you can do a few little things at a time to see that she can trust you and that you can be safe ..

Good Luck.

Answer 4

I am glad you understand that what your Mom is doing is out of concern for you not because she wants to spoil all your fun. I wish you had said how early teen you are as this would have given me a starting point. I am going to assume about 13 or 14.
You have a job to do and that job is to show your Mom that you can be trusted. Trusted to go to school, trusted to have a boyfriend, trusted with being allowed to go out with your friends. Most of us Mom's will start small. If you do well than your privleges will grow.
I would like you to talk to your Mom and ask her what you can do to increase her trust in you. Talk to her like an adult but be sure to be respectful. Don't whine and complain and for sure don't say Suzie or whatever your best friend's name is can do it. Those things will tell her you are not ready for more trust.
When she has told you what she is looking for do your best to fulfill her requirements. Do so for at least a month and then talk to her again. Tell her the progress you have made and ask if there is one privilage you could have. It might be something small such as going and getting a coke after school or going to a friend's house in the evening with you having a curfew. Slowly your mother's trust will build and you will be allowed more and more freedom.
It is sometimes hard for us Mom's to let our little girls grow up. Always remember she loves you and wants what is the very best for you.

Answer 5

If you are in your early teens, you really don't need to be doing alot by yourself. You are too young and haven't proven yourself trustworthy as of yet. I know you think you are old enough and grown up, but you will not understand until you have kids of your own. Just listen to your parents, do as they say, and when they feel you are ready and they can trust you, they will let you venture out on your own. Be sure when they do, do not let them down or you will be right back where you are now (sitting at home on a 1 foot leash). Prove yourself to be a responsible young lady.

Answer 6

Learn to live the life your mother is prescribing, not because she is always right but because all your life someone will be limiting you somehow and when you are 18 you can spread your wings and fly but remember you will pay the price for decision's good and bad. That is what your mother knows and you have yet to learn. I know you understand the concept but you need to live more life to appreciate the heart ach that comes with one cavalier descision. The time will pass and you will appreciate the wisdom of your mother in the years to come.

Answer 7

Talk to her. Explain that you are getting older and that you understand that she worries about you but that she cant lock you up forever. Talk about ways or things that you can do that will prove that you are sensible and trustworthy. Remember she wasn't born a mum and it is all new to her too probably. Maybe she had a bad experience when she was your age and she is just protecting you. But you have to learn from your own mistakes.

Answer 8

Well as you get older, you gain more and more respect from parents, and slowly you start getting more freedom. If you blow it, you usually have to start all over and get them to trust you again. So always obey their rules if you want to earn freedom. It's hard to get along with parents when you're a teenager, I'm 21 now I'm so happy I'm out of that stage. I never fought as bad as I did when I was a teen, it was hard. Just try to remember she's your mom and she wouldn't do anything just to make you miserable. Try to talk to your mom about things that bother you, not yell. You'll get through it!

Answer 9

Was she bought up in a strict family? Do you really think that she is being unreasonable? Sometimes what we think as teenagers may seem really unfair but they are not. Talk to her and ask her why she is concerned but dont get defensive! She needs to trust you and realise that you can do things alone sometimes. this will take time to build this up..if she lays down rules then dont break then cause she will not trust you..

Answer 10

She's trying to protect you. You will have to prove to her that ;you can be trusted to do certain things on your own. Try talking to her calmly and see if you can work the differences out. Good Luck