I've been with my boyfriend for 18 months. Trouble is he is in awful debt. His parents keep lending him money...never help him out..they just seem to encourage it.
I was meant to be moving in with him but to be honest i don't think i could trust him with paying rent and bills...(as he probably would spend all his wages and not have enough to pay the rent etc)
On Sunday he promised he would stop the spending..then last night i found out he is spending £200 on his mum's birthday present..i'm so mad...because its £200 he doesn't have..Its a quarter of his wages..and his mum lets him spend it..even though she knows how much in debt he is.
I don't know what to do...i've tried talking to him..but he won't listen. I've put money aside for our future..but he has made no effort at all. i don't know what to do?
2007-07-30 23:08:29 · 21 answers · asked by Liz S 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What future? He's always going to be an unrealistic spender. Cut your losses and go. Or face life in debt. If you move in together and run a home together then you'll more than likely end up having to share legal debts and that Int funny. Trust me . . . I owe.
2007-07-30 23:15:06 · answer #1 · answered by Soggy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out now. My ex was awful with money, there was always rows over it and he never sorted it out, always left me to pay the debts. He thought he could just spend all his money and that I would be there anyway with my wages to pay all the bills, and if I couldn't sure there was always a credit card!
We split up about a year ago now and he has got himself into more and more debt, have offered him advise on many occasions but never listened. Only now after all this time has he realised that he has to sort himself out, but still spends like crazy.
If he has no sense of the value of money, saving etc, he never will.
2007-07-30 23:14:53 · answer #2 · answered by Jo C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DON"T move in with him yet,cos you will end in debt as well cos you'll obviously help him,and he might not appreciate it and sees it as part of you "duty". Talk to him HARD and make him understand that he has 2 budget and spend his money wisely. You can also take control of his bank account or you can let him give you his wages wen he pays,in dat way you'll have more control then he does.
If it doesn't help you might wanna get some professional help if you so really want 2 b with this guy!!
"STRONGS"
2007-07-30 23:34:11 · answer #3 · answered by ant 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont do it, when you move in together its a commitment, not just emotionally but also financially. It sounds like your boyfriend is not mature enough to realise the value of money. Two hundred pounds on a birthday present, seriously, thats half my mortgage a month!
He needs to grow up and realise that you do need to budget when living with a partner. Imagine if you had kids... Could he provide for you all?
Good luck x
2007-07-30 23:16:01 · answer #4 · answered by Putting on the Foil 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont move in with him until his debts are under control, you will end up having to support him.
If he is not willing to change, then you cant force him to. Try to find a way for him to budget sensibly and pay back his debts, if he doesnt stick to it, chuck him, hes not worth the effort and there would be too much for you to lose in the long run.
2007-07-30 23:36:20 · answer #5 · answered by Catwhiskers 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't move in with him. You will end up paying for everything whilst he fritters his money away. Ask him to get help off a proffessional person who can guide him as to what he needs to do to pay everything back. If he doesn't do this then I would seriously reconsider the relationship.
2007-07-30 23:12:45 · answer #6 · answered by Different 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if those types of mistakes have anything to do with the question "should you guys stay together" but in a sence, they do. If he is going to be like that forever, then thats not good for your future, because eventually if you guys get married, it will pull you down too.
2007-07-30 23:13:10 · answer #7 · answered by Tracy♡ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Friend. Have faith in him. He will not be a pauper every day. Have you not heard the proverb "Every dog has his days". Now a days you are in a good financial position. Fortunes can turn on him also. Help him at present and see the fruits of your patience later.
Anita
2007-07-30 23:18:24 · answer #8 · answered by anita d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that you should look on it as you don't have a future. he should grow up and start to be matureand responsible for himself. don't move in with him unless he is debt free. especially with the new law! carry on saving and if he changes his ways then move in with him. if not you will be half the way to sorting out a home for yourself. or you could go on holiday but do not move in with him whilst he is in debt
2007-07-30 23:18:01 · answer #9 · answered by confused 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for god's sake woman don't move in with him! if he is like this now, imagine what the future holds... he needs to knuckle down and sort his life out, if he won't listen to you there's nothing you can do. he will end up going bankrupt and if u move in with him and are financially linked this will wreck your credit rating to and u'll struggle to get a mortgage, credit card etc
2007-07-30 23:18:16 · answer #10 · answered by ellocheeky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋