my boyfriend wants to have sex....?

Question

im 16, and my boyfriend brought up sex last night. i was shocked at first but the more i thought about it, the more i realized how much i really do love him. ive been thinking about it for a while but i didnt want to mention it to him because i was afraid that if he didnt agree, it would make things akward. i do want to have sex with him, but im afraid of what the outcome might be. advice? help!!!?!

i know he ISNT a virgin... hes told me sex is fun and that he wants to do it with me because its FUN.. not because he thinks itll make the relationship better. i know hes had sex with a couple of girls at school.

Answer 1

How long have you been dating him? Several years or a few weeks. He's more than likely using you.

Just save it and have sex with someone who needs it, like a nerd

Answer 2

If you're afraid, then my advice is to wait. It is not about your age, but about your sure-ness. If you do have sex, even if you use all possible protection (birth control, condoms, and spermicide), there is still a chance of pregnancy. If you do get pregnant, are you a) sure he will stick around and b) sure you want this guy in your life FOREVER (not just 1, 5, or 18 years...kids are until death).

There is nothing unhealthy about talking about it with him. You have every right to tell him that the conversations are not invitations, but just you trying to figure out the right path to take. Important questions include:
1. Have you had sex before?
2. Have you ever had an STD test?
3. What are your feelings on having children at this age?
4. What are your feelings on abortion? (Even if YOU wouldn't consider one, there is a chance that he would want you to have one. This is a very important question to ask!)
5. What are your feelings on adoption?
6. Will you be willing to use latex condoms with spermicide EVERY SINGLE TIME? (Best way to go)

Be willing to get STD tests together if either of you have a concern. (Even if you are a virgin, if you have had oral sex in the past, there is still a possibility. Also, if you are a virgin and he is not, and you want him to get tested, it is only fair that you offer to do so as well.)

A good website that has been very helpful to me: www.sxetc.org It is by teens/young 20s for people of that age range, and explains pretty much everything you could ever want to know about sex, babies, STDs, anything. It is not affiliated with any religious, pro-life, pro-choice, or ANY other kind of organization that has an opinion on sex.

Hope that helped. Remember, it is ultimately your choice and no means no, even if you've already said yes.

Answer 3

Just make sure it's something you really want to do. Because when you lose your virginity you can never get it back. And sometimes that's when us ladies go wrong. Just don't let anyone pressure you into anything. So just know what "YOU" want to do. Well what ever you choose do it for you. Good luck! If its meant it will just happen by its self. But honestly if you need to ask someone you might not be ready so you might want to wait a little longer. You know you can love someone without having sex. Your still young and in high school, so think of the consequences that can happen. You probably have a good future. Sometimes stuff like this can ruin it. Well once again good luck!

Answer 4

Well, first, it depends how long have you been with him. You're pretty young as it is, and where it may be legal, it's still something you should think about before you just do it. I'm not objecting to it, but I'm just saying, think about it. A big flag is If he's pressuring you, he probably just wants to do it so he can brag about it. If you do choose to, use protection, even if he's never had sex before, pulling out is still risky.

It's a big step up, and in a few weeks/month/years if you break up with him, will you regret it? Do it for yourself, not for someone else. Make sure you absolutely truly want to, and know that you are very young and have much more ahead of you.

Random hook ups are one thing, but having sex for the first time in an actual relationship can disrupt it by him getting obsessed.

Answer 5

I would have to say ...don't do it. Here's why:

1. You had to think about it for a while before you realized that you love him. When it's real love, it hits you like a freight train.

2. You were afraid of his reaction to the L-word...if this was for real, you would not be hesitant to talk to him about it.

3. You're afraid of the outcome. If you don't know - without a doubt - that this will make your relationship stronger, why take the risk?

And here's another thing you need to think about...are you ready to be a parent? Condoms don't always work. Neither do female birth control methods (pill, IUD, etc). I was young when I got pregnant with my daughter, and as much as I love her, if I could go back and wait another five years, I would. I don't think that there's a sixteen year old in the world that is ready to take on that responsibility!

Think about how much you respect yourself before you think about how much you love him. Good Luck!

Answer 6

I don't think that you should. I mean, if he loves you like you love him you guys can wait a bit. Make sure that the love lasts, and also that you'll be able to emotionally deal with all of the consequences.

However, if you do decide to start having sex, I recommend that you go on birth control pills. At the very least you should use a condom. You don't want to be getting a sexually transmitted infection, and you definitely do not want to get pregnant and either have to deal with having an abortion or a child. Don't believe people that tell you it doesn't happen. I know of at least 4 girls that got pregnant while they were still in high school.

Answer 7

u r 16 and u should u not have sex with that pervert. What u should do is to stay away from him or find a suitable boyfriend as ur guidance. u should know that he just want to have sex with u , but no love into it. He will surely dump u. If u r afraid, alert u parents and ur friend or the police, and plz DONT BE SHY WHEN U ASK ABOUT SOMEONE HAVING SEX WIT U.. rmb this is for ur safety. As what people said, they r many good guys out there waiting for someone to love them. So go and be a super girl.

Answer 8

Think carefully before you act! It is so easy to let our hormones and emotions lead us into the wrong actions. Are you and your boyfriend really ready for all the possible consequences of having sex. It sounds like its your first time, but is it his? Do you know of his entire sexual history? Has he been tested for any diseases? Are either of you ready to deal with unplanned pregnancy? I don't mean to sound preachy at all, but these are the kinds of questions we should ask ourselves, even as adults, but we get caught up and hope for the best later. I think its great that you love him and hopefully he loves you too, but there are other ways to express your love, and once you start, you wont be able to stop. In the bigger picture, or long run, this is not the last time you will be in love. Sex is great, I wont lie, but it's so much better when youre really prepared for it. Take your time and think some more, and if possible, talk to your mom or even dad about what youre thinking. Its hard but it will help. Good Luck whatever you choose.

Answer 9

My dear, at age 16 you are not prepared to deal with any of the responsibilities that go with having sex. There are MAJOR risks involved and they are all YOUR RISKS. You could easily derail all of your plans for the next 18 years with a baby, or you could render yourself incapable of having babies when you actually want to (years from now) because of some friggin' disease.

Girls are usually at least 3 years ahead of boys in the mental-emotional-physical maturity departments. You two are not on the same wavelength, believe me. The boyfriend is at that age where he is all about "what he can get" and responsibility does not enter his mind at all.

If the guy really loves you, he will wait until you are totally ready, and he will be able to take responsibility for his part in it. If you refuse to have sex with him and he drops you, then you know he never loved you to begin with.

Another item... if you give in to his coaxing, you will be dealing with some other issues. 16 year old boys like to brag, and he will be talking about getting into you. Do you really want that kind of talk about you being spread around school?

You need to have a frank talk with a trusted adult.
If your mother cannot give you adequate data, then ask her to take you to Planned Parenthood for their educational seminar, which is delivered in an accurate and fluff-free format by experts.

Answer 10

Number one, do it safely, DO NOT let him talk you out of using a condom. Make sure he doesn't take it off during the sex. Second, think to yourself honestly what your expectations are. You probably do want to have sex with him but it's mostly because your young and that's natural. Don't think to yourself, "I'm going to do it because I love him." Your asking for not only ackwardness but heart break. If you decide to do it, do it for fun and enjoy it, but SAFELY!!! The only thing bad that can happen is you having the wrong expectations of what should or will happen afterwards. Discuss it with him and make sure you both are being realistic about it before doing anything. That's what adults should do but rarely do. Our society tells younger females that sex without being in love is wrong, but it isn't because sex rarely ends or leads to love. Don't make the investment with love on the mind because this is one wound that can take forever to heal. If you think you can have sex and not have unrealistic expectations then go for it, but remember it's your decision and if you end up hurt then it's only your fault. Don't try to tell him that it should be about love because guys may feel it in the moment and could hurt you later. If you make it about love and fun with him but not about everlasting and eternal love then you may come out okay either way. Just be as mature and realistic about it as you possibly can and you should be okay. Don't do it for love only though, you'll probably end up disappointed or hurt.

Answer 11

If both of you are ready,and in love and have the discussion of the outcome, it will fine. Don't be afraid of talking to him about sex, and the the after effects that will come. Sex is a natural part of life, and you need to be more comfortable But should you both agree that you want to partake in this journey of expressing your love in a physical way please make sure you are SAFE! Protection is KEY, and always best!!!