If you decide to forgive do you have to reestablish a relationship?

Question

A person hurt you, no matter who it was... Fine. you decided that because you want to you will forgive them.

Now, does that require for you to be friendly again? Do you have to pretend that it never happened?

Or can you forgive them but be cautious and stay away? How about if you don't want to be friendly or have a relationship anymore? Does that mean that you are not really forgiving?

Answer 1

I completely beleive in forgiveness. However, I do not believe in putting one's self in the line of fire over and over again. After a certain point it becomes so taxing on you emotionally to stay in a relationship with someone who keeps betraying your trust that you just can't do it anymore. It just breeds more resentment. The longer you allow yourself to be abused, the more bitter you become and the harder it is to forgive anyone. There is nothing that anyone could ever do to me that I would not do my best to forgive. But that doesn't mean that I can keep putting my trust in them. The bottom line is that you have to be wise about who you trust. Be open, loving, and forgiving, but guard your heart.

Answer 2

It is always best for you to forgive the person.

However, forgiveness does not mean that you have to pretend it never happened.

Forgiveness means you no longer want to hurt them or want to see them suffer for the wrong that they did.

It is good to be cautious with people who you forgive. Some of them have not repented themselves yet in truth..

If the person you are forgiving sexually abused you, then it is wisdom to limit your exposure to the person in the future unless you see over time that the person really has experienced genuine repentance and is broken hearted over the sin he committed and is passionate about hating any abuse of any person.

You can forgive a person who stole from you and be careful about inviting the person into your house again.

You can be cautious and stay away. You don't have to have a relationship again. What is important is that in your heart when you think of the person, you ask G-d to bless them and to heal the wounds inside of them.

That will make both of you free, to the extent that you can have an influence.

The Bible says, "As much as it lies within you, be at peace with one another."

Make wise choices that will help you live your life in a way that is not subjected to more sin on the part of the person who hurt you. (If your boyfriend kept pressuring you to get physical with him and then apologized, you would forgive...but you would also cut him loose and see if he really had a change of heart about it or if he was just apologizing in order to control you.)

People who stomp on your or who don't experience godly sorrow as 2nd Corinthians calls it over their sin do not need to be trampling on you again.

Just ask G-d to bless the person and to keep your heart clean and free of all bitterness. The Holy Spirit will show you what to do.

A good book for you to read about this question is The Wounded Heart by Dan Allender.

Answer 3

A very good question that affects all of us.

Forgiveness is a tough thing to acheive. If you can do that, then I applaud you for that. Forgetting is another matter. It should seem that forgiveness is in line with forgetting; but it is not.

I would direct you to something you may have done that you wanted forgiveness for. Perhaps you are not guilty of that, but maybe you are. The simple act of saying, "I forgive you" is a strong statement. If you do that, then you must try to put past the act that you are forgiving, even though you will never forget it.

It is hard to let go of something done to you that you feel is innapropriate. In fact you may never let it go, but if you can truly say, "I forgive you", then you must abide by that and try to go on. Moreover, if the person who did what hurt you said that they are sorry, then let the issue be closed.

Answer 4

If you believe in Jesus than you forgive and move on. If someone hurt you or a loved one it is not written that you must be friendly with them. Forgiveness is letting it go and letting God deal with that person the best way He sees fit. Because only God knows the hearts of man.

Answer 5

No. You can forgive someone and still choose not to have a relationship with them or perhaps a different type of relationship. Depending on the offense, the only forgiveness possible might be a simple resolve to be cordial.

Answer 6

In forgiving someone it is to free you of the hurt, anger, hate and desire for vengeance. The things will eat at you until you will release yourself from the ties you have to that person. Sometimes you have to get away from someone to heal the hurt and forgiveness helps in letting you do that. Just do not fall back in to the trap of hate and anger again.

Answer 7

If you can't be civil to them then you need to work a little more on forgiving them but NO you don't have to be nice........just not mean or vindictive. People have forgiven someone who murdered one of their family members, that doesn't mean they became their friends. Forgiveness is ultimately FOR the person doing the forgiving, it is about letting it go.

“You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.”
Buddha

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
Buddha

Answer 8

You don't have to continue a relationship that is abusive. You forgive and stop obsessing over how you were done wrong. Very difficult to do.

Answer 9

Matthew 10:16 Forgive yes. Trust well that's another subject and must be earned.

Answer 10

Forgiving is forgiving, be only angry at the act or word spoken by the person and never be angry at the person perse and you would find joy and pleasure and gain wisdom in your friendship.