My bf of 3yrs recently went away for bootcamp. It was really hard at first but now I find myself to be somewhat okay with him being gone. I miss him, but it's not anything I can't deal with like it used to--Almost as if I'm content. Thing is, I feel sort of guilty about it, as if I don't love him anymore or something. Am I just thinking crazy or is that normal?
2007-07-30 16:18:38 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Military
no, i am an army wife and its what one has to do is to get by. you gotta get used to them being gone at some point and if you can tolerate it while your dating then you will be good army wife material i should think. as long as you still love him as much as you did the day he left and if you know he feels the same way then your relationship will grow stronger through the time apart.
at any rate you are totally normal. besides the guys like to know you can handle life and be strong enough without him but be thrilled to get him back. thats just my take.
2007-07-30 16:24:55 · answer #1 · answered by Jessy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's totally normal to feel like the pain has lessened and it's totally normal to feel guilty about that. I'll tell you what I was told when I felt this way during DH's first deployment after a 3 year shore duty:
You can't survive for long with such a sharp pain of missing him. The people who feel that way all the time often don't make it as military spouses. You have to let that sharp pain lessen into a general ache of missing him so that you can live your life the way you need to, take care of your kids and be there to support him where you can. It doesn't mean you love him any less or more than before, just that you're coping well with the separation and doing your job at home.
I don't know if that helps you or not but it sure made sense to me at the time and still does as we prepare for our 3 Navy deployment.
2007-07-31 05:17:06 · answer #2 · answered by Critter 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sweety My Fiancee Is Also In The Army There Are Times I Dont Get To Talk To Him For Weeks To Months At A Time. I Don't Take It As I Don't Love Him. Your Just Exepting It Now. If Your Still Willing To Wait For Him And Love Him Then Thats All You Need To Know. There Are Times He's Going To Be Gone And Your Going To Have To Get Used To It. Theres Nothing To Feel Giulty About. And Dont Worry Its Normal
2007-07-31 01:29:25 · answer #3 · answered by Beautiful_nightmare 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been married for 6 years and my husband has been gone more than he's been at home. It always hurts when they leave but after some time passes you get in a grove to where it's not as painful. Yes I think about him all the time when he's gone but I cant cry and fall apart until he's back at home...you would make yourself ill if you didnt pull yourself together at some point in time! I think that its normal to feel content with him being gone but if you are having trouble with really knowing that you still love him you may need to think some things through about that.
2007-07-30 16:33:16 · answer #4 · answered by army wifey 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend lef tfor Benning on June 3rd and it was the hardest thing I had ever had to do...say goodbye. I cried for about a week straight, but then it started to get easier. He graduates next Friday and looking back at it, the past 8 weeks haven't been as hard as I thought they would be. There is no need to feel guilty about not missing him as much as you did when he first left, I don't. You are getting use to him not being around, therefore you arent gonna be missing him. I think its perfectly normal because I did the same thing. And before you know it, you'll have 10 days till his graduation.
2007-07-31 01:29:40 · answer #5 · answered by First L 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are normal. The first couple days after saying goodbyes are always the worst but then you kinda start getting used to it. But once you see him again for the first time after bootcamp you will realize how much you do love him and missed about him.
Personally I give you props for handling everything so well. Its better to be content then an emotional reck!
2007-07-30 16:46:30 · answer #6 · answered by That Special Someone 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dont over think things , sometimes space between people in a long term relationship is good, I am a proud Armywife and National Guard Soldier , trust me I miss my husband when he is deployed or away for a week or two , even when I was at BCT it wasnt as bad as I thought missing him so much but when we saw it each other after 9 1/2 weeks later it was great!!!but I need me time as well, take this time to focus on you it will lesson the thoughts you have.
Good luck to you both! Armywife10 yrs and growing& ANG Soldier
2007-07-30 17:10:13 · answer #7 · answered by Justice35 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the first time away is the hardest you just have to stick it out and rember that you are not the only woman going throught this right now im married for 3 years and havent seen my husband in a year and a half
it takes a strong and understanding and faitfull loyal woman to be with a solider if you dont think that you can do either then mabe you need to reconsider your relationship with him
2007-07-31 01:31:48 · answer #8 · answered by Honey Badger Doesnt give a Shat 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel guilty. The feelings are normal. You are learning to adapt, which is a very good thing.
2007-07-30 16:37:05 · answer #9 · answered by Diane 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are just bothered to your imagination of things. Keep calm and relax.
jtm
2007-07-30 16:22:26 · answer #10 · answered by Jesus M 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋