recently some really bad things have happened in my family. my step dad cheated on my mother and slept with another women. then she took him back. it was a 6 month adultrey period. my whole family is torn. hes been my father figure since i was 5 and it hurts so much. my mother is choosing him over me by treating me like a stranger. she knows i had a hunch about it. i tld her that something was up i could feel it. but she pretends that hes the greatest person in the world and leaves me in the dark and tries to make me feel guilty for not welcoming him in with open arms. my aunt says i just need to get out of here. she claims that they have always bullied me around and like a wounded animal ive taken it. but now.. she says that things have gotten out of hand. my mother has done as few things to me that .. we will just say are not motherly and semi crual. i just dont know.
2007-07-30 15:45:18 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
How old are you?
If you're old enough....... then just do it.
Don't stay somewhere that makes you feel unhappy. Don't let them treat you like that. Don't let them win. They're the ones in the wrong. They're the ones who are going to regret it.
LEAVE. Get on with your life.
2007-07-30 15:48:35 · answer #1 · answered by ... 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
How old are you? If you are 18 or older, leave. If you are under 18, stay and finish high school. Just do your homework, do not be judgmental over this marriage. You don't walk in your Mom's shoes, so you don't really know. Your Mom is treating you like a stranger because you have chosen sides. She has taken him back so leave it alone. It's not your choice. If you are still in high school, get some kind of part-time job on the weekends and evenings so you don't need to spend much time at home. Save every penny you make and put it in a savings account so you won't spend it and neither will anyone else. That is the money you will have when you leave. Then you don't need to look back.
2007-07-30 15:51:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, we all feel like that sometimes. I know I have. But running away is not always the answer. If you are an adult and have a means to support yourself, then sure. Make the best of your life. But be mature, loving and forgiving to your family.
If you are still in school, stay put! Don't mess your life up. Believe me there will be more rocky areas in this life later. Your aunt sounds like she has problem with your mom. And she has no right to be telling you such things. She needs to grow up.
If you mother is trying to forgive her husband and make the marriage work, then more power to her. If you feel ignored, understand that saving a marriage takes a lot of work. Give her a break. If she is wrong about trying to save the marriage, she will need your love and support. Help the situation, don't make it worse. And don't make your life harder than it already is. Good luck.
2007-07-30 16:20:13 · answer #3 · answered by David L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am truly sorry to hear this. To be honest, my family scene was also pretty torn. My mothers guilt trips just really messed me up, but I've learned from this than I am stronger than all of them, and that they have given me all their love, so I just have to love them as they are, even though I could never forgive her. Someday's I would just look at other families and just wish why couldn't my family be like that? But I've grown up and learned now that you must over come these obstacles in life in order to grow overall as a person. Do not let these things affect you and get to your head and alter your personality or how you interact with others. Because if they do, then you will have truly something to regret later on in life.
However I do not think I can fully help you the way you need it, see a shrink to put yourself at more ease. Not all families are like the ones you see on television, there are crazier out there...I hope this kind of helps.
2007-07-30 15:52:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to answer this with out more info. People make mistakes. Always have , always will. It's important to be able to forgive but that doesn't mean you have to eat more of the same crap. From what you've written I would suggest you talk to your aunt some more before you make any rash decisions. It would also help if you could talk to trained counselor and get an objective opinion. Good luck.
2007-07-30 15:55:56 · answer #5 · answered by CJ Cole 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I dont know how old you are? But if Your mom is doing things to you and that it is not a safe place get the hell out of there. Your mom may not want to leave him becouse he may have used mind abuse say no one will love you like i do and i mad a mastake i cant live with out you. I dont know what is happening there but. I am a 45 old father and love my daughter i am devorced but did not let anything happen to my daughter and my ex would not do anying to her eather. You may find it may get even worse the longer you stay. Find a safe place to go. Please be careful there are those that will try to take avetage if they think you are stuck. If you start getting abused call the police
2007-07-30 15:57:34 · answer #6 · answered by raymond_graham61 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, if you are old enough, just find another place and go. But don't jump from the frying pan into the fire. Plan you move so you have someplace to go. And don't burn your bridges at home. leave it open to go home to visit for holidays, birthdays, etc. Someday you may want your mothers recipe for one of your fav dishes. I moved out 2 days after I graduated high school. My mother threw away all of my yearbooks, my photos, trophies, gave all my clothes away. I never regretted moving out, but I regret the way I did it.
2007-07-30 16:08:05 · answer #7 · answered by old beatnik 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Speak to your step dad. Let him know you were hurt. Your mom is acting this way because she has made the decision to forgive and forget. Since she is his wife, you must allow her to make her own decisions. It might not be what you would choose, but you aren't her. I would suggest after you get this off your chest with your dad that you try to stay out of their business. You don't need to know more and you will only upset yourself and others.
2007-07-30 15:52:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes women think they can't live without a man and end up settling for anything. She is probably so afraid to screw up with him, and have him do it again, that she will bend over backwards to keep him "happy" even if it costs her her relationship with you. How old are you? Do you think your aunt could take you in, or someone else in your family? I'm really sorry for your situation, and I wish women would just put their kids first and put these men out.
2007-07-30 15:52:00 · answer #9 · answered by briddy29 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hey sweety - i know its hard to see, but i think she is trying to make it work for your sake, so you can still have that father figure in your life.
As for her forgiving him and taking him back after he cheated - im sorry to say but she is crazy.
Her children should be upmost the most important beings in her life, and she should do everything to make you happy and loved and safe.
Sounds like she will have to learn the hard way, because he will cheat on her again and again. If someone cheats once, they'll do it again, because they were just assured they can get away with it.
as for you, be strong, and wise. dont fight with her. it must be hard for her as well.
if your mum is putting you aside, because of him, tell her that its not right, and if she continues to put him first, that you'll leave and go to live with your aunty or your dad (if he is alive or close or so on) - mabe she is just blinded and doesnt see
2007-07-30 15:52:36 · answer #10 · answered by Kendi 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm not sure if I would never look back, but I would definately create some distance for a while. If you saw through what was going on and she did not listen, that is unfortunate for her, but you don't need to stay around while the situation gets worse!
2007-07-30 15:57:06 · answer #11 · answered by sportguy 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋