Should I have a wedding at all?

Question

My fiance and I had made plans for a big, traditional wedding this fall. Two of my bridesmaids and I are no longer friends and the other one is too sick with her pregnancy to be in the wedding. His groomsmen all live out of town, and it has become a hassle to get them to do anything. A lot of our guests live out of town also, and so we really are not too sure if anyone will or can show up to the event. I am disappointed because I feel that it would be a waste to go all out with the planning if no one is there to see it. What suggestions do you have that me and my fiance could do for a wedding. I don't mind if it is small, but I want it to be beautiful. Location, reception ideas, decorations????????

Answer 1

What exactly are you trying to get the groomsmen to do? They don't really help w/pre-wedding stuff like the maids do ~ they just get fitted for the tux & help w/ bachelor party.

You state that you "made plans for a big, traditional wedding this fall..." yet you then go on to ask for ideas for location, reception & decorations?

I hate to break it to you, but there is absolutely no way you will be able to plan a big traditional wedding in only a few months. If for no other reason than the wedding sites, caterers, florists, etc. will all be booked by now. Not to mention that it takes 6-8mo to order a wedding gown and up to 12wks for bridesmaid dresses.

If you want to go w/a non-traditional wedding ~ it can be done. But the very least you have to do is find a ceremony/reception site, wedding date & officiant to perform the ceremony. Then, get out invites asap.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but you really need to plan out the basics & move on from there. It sounds as if you are getting way ahead of yourself. Take a deep breath =)

Answer 2

Churches are always beautiful and you would have God's blessing if you marry in a church. Rethink your plans. Maybe brothers and sisters would like to be in the wedding party or other family members you haven't thought of yet. Invite your friends and family even if they can't come they could send you a gift. Make sure people let you know with RSVP's who is coming. Have beautiful flower and a photographer so you can remember your wedding even if a soul isn't there but you two. I am sure people will come and it will be lovely. A country club always makes a nice reception place. If it is very small the church fellowship hall will be fine. Don't forget the rehearsal dinner which is the grooms responsibility. Choose a nice place for that too. Good luck with your wedding plans! I'm excited for you!!

Answer 3

Most of our guests were from out of town and we only expected about half the guests to show up but EVERYONE showed! We were very surprised. We did send out save the date magnets about 4 or 5 months ahead since most of the guests were out of town so they could start making travel arrangements and saving money for travel.
You don't have to have any groomsmen/bridesmaids. One of the most beautiful wedding I went to, they didn't have any. There was something special about them standing at the alter alone.
Ours was not a huge wedding, we had it at a old victorian style house that was a bed and breakfast. We picked it because we didn't need any added decorations except outside which is where the ceremony was held. The reception was inside.

Answer 4

Have you committed to a date and hired vendors or got a reception site?

If not, push back the wedding date. I can see your fustration with the bridal party, but you need to give people more time for things like this.

In addition, you want to get married in the fall. That's only 2-3 months away. You are cutting it close. It sounds like you aren't too committed to planning a wedding at any size scale.

I would pick a date for 2008, let people know and start some serious planning.

Answer 5

My husband and I got married on an overlook in PA. We had a very small group of people, just friends and family. My sister was my matron of honor and his best friend the one groomsman. It was gorgeous since it was October with the leaves changing. Best of all it was totally free for us. I think it all depends on where you live. If you have a local Conservatory & Botanic Gardens that rent out time, it would be a great background for any pictures. And face it great pictures are what keeps the memories and what you will cherish the most from the entire thing. And like the above said, keep the extra $$ and do something that will help you in the long run. Best wishes!

Answer 6

If you've dreamed of a nice wedding, then do it for sure! You will regret it, otherwise.
If it's not that important to you, then don't worry about it.

Planning a wedding is tough! You've obviously faced a lot of challenges, but all hope is not lost. You can just modify it to suit your needs. I mean really, do you *need* bridesmaids/groomsmen? Sure, it would be nice to have your friends standing next to you on your big day, but it's really not essential. You could assign them other roles if you want them involved in the wedding: ushers, decoraters, ask them to read a passage or poem for you, guest greeter.. the list is endless, really. But if they've got a special talent, why not try to involve that in your wedding somehow?

As for your out of town guests, I wouldn't be too worried. It's not uncommon for people to come from different states to be at their friend's/relative's wedding! I live in Australia and my cousins are coming from New Zealand just to see me get married! If you really mean a lot to them, they will make the effort and be glad to do it!

It sounds like you need to relax a bit.. treat yourself, and have a "wedding-free" week every now and again :)

Answer 7

i say do a small out side wedding at a park and have a nice dinner some place or if you plan on you your husband and if his family and yours aka mom and dads and your sibblings and some aunts an uncles i say why not have a simple wedding and do it out of town like florida california vegas or go to new england and do it in new port and enjoy the sights with people close you can limmit your list to 10 15 people and have fun with all your guests for 4 or 5 days

Answer 8

Go to a local park, or go out of town together. I know someone who went on a honeymoon/wedding trip. They stayed at a really nice hotel that did wedding services right there in the hotel. Then the next morning they left on a cruise for a couple weeks. Really, you can do whatever you want. You could even get married on a cruiseship or beach!

Answer 9

Why not plan something small and invite just close family and friends. Ask a favorite sister/cousin to be your bridesmaid or have your Mother be matron of honor. Same with groomsmen. I would suggest if its early fall in some state that the weather will cooperate, Rent a tent and have the ceremony out doors with potted fall mums in your choice of color, contact a reputable caterer, hire bartenders, interview DJ's etc. and hold the reception under the tent...you can rent dance floors for tents. You can string white Christmas tree lights, wrapped in cellophane for a sparkle effect. My sister loves anything fall.....for her wedding, in October, I decorated straw hats with dried flowers and ribbons to coordinate with her colors, we brought in bales of hay and pumpkins for decoration and I waxed leaves and scattered them on the table for center pieces and placed potted mum's and votive candles on either side of the flowers. It was beautiful and very "fall-ish"

Answer 10

fall is a wonderful time .. mattering on weather.. to do a small outside get together. maybe throw up one of those canopy tent things and rent a couple of those outdoor space heaters.. pick a park or if someone has a backyard with some trees..

you can do it super easy and cheap.. go to the dollar store.. get some glass bowls.. clear or a light, fall color.. add some of those flat marbles and water and float a candle.. instant center piece.. do a banquet style so you dont have to worry about food choices.. have a chicken or fish and a regular meat.. salads and pasta.. fruits.. and cheese trays... use that tickertap stuff.. you can get it at any craft store.. and some wooden stakes.. instant walkway.. dance floor.. you get the idea. those hard plastic mats for computer chairs.. great and they snap together for an outside area to dance if there is no cement or a deck.
use my email account on my profile if youd like more specific ideas.. with colors and such... or a theme..