Why would a MAN make jokes openly to a WOMAN (that he works with!) about her weight?

Question

I am 40yrs old and this man (if you will,lol) is 60....(yes , sixty!) I work w/him AND his wife and a couple of times he has thought up nicknames for me.....(I am sure you can imagine) Yeah , ok , I am a little chubby ....but why would he give a care (heh hem) about my body? Seems WEIRD. O yeah , I think he has an eating disorder , he likes to eat nothing , and I mean , NOTHING...... but energy bars...... and his wife tells me how he binges out on the weekends on ice cream! LOL!

Answer 1

Does he generally joke around work in that manner ? Or does he just save it for you ? He is either a very insensitive or very insecure...I am glad you can talk at least to his wife, does she know how much it hurts you when he makes you the butt of his joke ? Does he realise what he is doing ? It sounds to me he has a very big issue weight in his mind and as you said...he Does Have an eating disorder, someone who eats very little and binges on food...Yep! eating disorder ! You have nothing to worry about girl...don't let one sick person spoil your day ! It is not what other people think of you...it is what you think of yourself ! Having a couple of extra pounds is not a crime when I last looked, maybe you could turn the tables on him and don't acknowledge him when he makes his remarks, maybe you could make up a couple of nicknames for him that maybe have the effect you are after! Just think of some names that would fit him to a T and use them one at a time use it for the whole day and look for a reaction...then the next day use another, and so on ! After awhile you will find that perfect nickname that will make him think twice about calling you names ! But always do it with a smile ! You want to make a game out of it to make it fun ! Don't Worry Be Happy :-)

Answer 2

I'll leave it to you to decide if this retort will put your job at risk, but try this:

"Yeah, I'm a bit overweight, it's true. But you're ugly. And I can lose weight."

If you can't say it directly to him, then say it to someone else when he's within ear-shot, so he hears it. Make it as though you were telling the other person how you responded when someone at a store commented on your weight.

You can also get a bumper sticker made up that says the same thing -and then park so the guy will see it.

Make the whole thing very funny and frivolous.

Tee hee.

Answer 3

It could be a number of things...or nothing at all. I was overweight and the same thing happened to me with a much older gentleman. Finally I asked him why and told him it was a bit hurtful and a little off-putting...and his reply shocked me. He said he looked at me like his own daughter since I was around her age, and he was just hoping a little picking at me here and there would spark a fire under me and get me to think about it a little more. He cared about me and wanted me to look better for my self-esteem and for my health. I told him that was a real kooky way to get me to "see the light" and it'd have been a lot more meaningful if he'd have just said he cared about me and wanted me to lose weight.
Nevertheless...this guy could just be a butt and have no sensitivity...either way...tell him kindly that he needs to drop the name calling or you'll shove an energy bar up his hiney.

Answer 4

Tell his wife that you think she should know (just between you and her) that he propositioned you and said something about "liking a woman with a little meat on her bones": unless it was true, there would be no reason in the world for you to say such a thing.

He'll be in all kinds of trouble, and will be way too busy to bother you anymore! LOL!

Of course I'm only kidding, that would be EVIL and WRONG....but funny!

Answer 5

He's attempting to intimidate you. By making unpleasant remarks, he's trying to tell you that he's above you in the pecking order at work and bully you into submitting. The fact that he also has strange eating habits would seem to indicate that weight is something he fixates on as well, so that's why he chooses to remark about your weight rather than something else.

Ignore him, but if it gets really bad then talk to your boss about it. You shouldn't have to listen to negative remarks about your body anywhere, least of all at work.

Answer 6

You have to understand that old schmuck comes from a time when it was prefectly legal to be an obnoxious *** toward people at work. The next time he starts tell him that if he doesn't knock it off you will report him to your supervisors for sexual harassment and yes what he is doing constitutes sexual harassment.

Report his behavior to your supervisors and the human resources department.

Answer 7

That's considered harassment. He has absolutely no right to offend and belittle you. You go to work TO WORK, not to have someone judge you on your weight. You should tell him that it is completely inappropriate and in future to keep his comments to himself. You shouldn't have to put up with such ignorant crap. If he continues after you've spoken to him then you have every right to go to management. What's wrong with some people? I'll never know, good luck

Answer 8

Here's what I would do: Next time he says something in connection to your weight, STOP ANY CONVERSATION immediately. Look sternly at him and say firmly, " My weight is my concern, and no one else's. What say you worry about your own life and let me take care of mine?" Then smile and continue to do your work as if nothing happened.

Answer 9

He may just have an odd sense of humor coupled with very little to no tact, as someone else suggested. Or, he may just be an insensitive creep.

Answer 10

he obviously has issue! just shrug it off, don't bother stooping to his level! you've got better things to do than that..