Black Wedding gown offensive?

Question

I am considering creating a wedding gown similar to the one shown on the following page.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/43853125@N00/sets/72157594293585553/show/
I love this gown, I find it dramatic, elegant, memorable, classic. I love that it has part of the gown black. However, while I may be more offbeat, my husband to be is from a more conservative family. I would hate to offend my boyfriend and his family. I think that black is a very misunderstood colour. Black is a sign of strength and fertility.
The thing that I also love about this gown is that if somebody doesn't love the black part as I do, they can just take pictures from the WAIST UP!!

Thanks for your help and comments!!!

And also, should I decide to goo with this gown, should I warn my boyfriend that my dress is "white and another colour?" I would hate to see him look disapointed or shocked (in a bad way) at the end of the aisle...

thanks again for your help!!

Answer 1

Offensive? Anyone who would rain on you and your fiance's day by saying snide remarks about a dress which you have your heart set on is not someone worth inviting to a wedding. I think the dress is BEAUTIFUL as well as creative, unique, and classy.

One thing I did notice about the wedding pictures you posted, though, was that the groom as well as his groomsmen seemed very non-traditional, dressed in kilts. Their clothing in combination with the dress gave the dress a Scottish-flare and leant to the theme of the wedding. I think it went over very well. However, I would be maybe more hesitant to wear this sort of a dress if your husband were just wearing a traditional tuxedo, as the two of you would not match as well.

In addition, I would hesitate if he tends to be a superstitious type. My fiance is very very supersticious and wouldn't like me to wear a black dress, even one with black on the bottom, to our wedding if he had a say in the matter. I wouldn't care that much what my family would say about the matter, but I would be concerned if I thought my guy wouldn't like it, as it is of course his day as much as it is mine.

Have you put some thought at all into changing the color from an actual black to something close like a midnight blue or a very, very dark purple? This would both allow for some creativity and be less likely to make your fiance feel uncomfortable. Just a thought. At any rate, it's a fantastic dress.

Answer 2

I think the dress is lovely.

I'd be hesitant before I got it though because I know my husband (also traditional) and his family had an idea of what I'd look like (all white) and when we went shopping and I tried on dresses with even a bit of color they always said it looked fine but didn't gush over them the way they did all white ones...and it wasn't a point I wanted to get in a fight over b/c I loved some of the all white dresses as well.

If your heart is set on the gown, sit down w/your fiance and say, "What do you picture my gown looking like" or even show him a few magazine pictures of totally different gowns (one or two similar to this one) and ask what he likes and dislikes about them...that way you'll know how he'll react without giving away the dress. If you two aren't concerned about him knowing about the gown, just tell him you're considering a black and white one and what does he think?

Good luck. Its pretty :)

Answer 3

As you may already be aware in Western cultures traditionally white was the colour worn by the bride at her wedding to symbolise her purity and black was a colour associated with funerals to symbolise the mourning and grievance over the deceased.

However in Asia, red was the traditional colour worn by the bride to weddings to symbolise wealth, fertility and luck and white is colour worn at funerals.

In some cultures the colour has no bearing at all and it is only the ceremony that makes it the wedding.
Also more and more bridesmaids are wearing black for their dresses.

My point is that this is your day, and although your husband to be may come from a conservative family, at the end of the day you have to feel right, and if that's wearing this dress then so be it, if they kick up a bit of a stink, gently point out to them the above points with culture, wedding dress colours and also stress to them that you are trying to find a happy medium by wearing both black and white.

Talk over the idea with your man and don't stress at the end of the day you need to remember that you are about to marry your soul mate and have a beautiful life together

Answer 4

I think black is way offbeat for a bride. Sorry that is my opinion. Black is also a sign of death, mourning, and gothic. Come on get with it. Why can't you be traditional for your wedding and not offend your boyfriend's family and yours too? I have seen that style in all white wedding gowns, so its is not that original. If you don't want to offend people, your family, your fiance, go with white and get a very modern looking gown. There are tons of websites for you to look at.

Try alfredangelo.com
dessy.com
jessicamcclintock.com
demetrios.com

Answer 5

The fact that you're asking this question indicates to me that you're concerned about upsetting people. If you think it's going to upset him enough that he needs to be 'warned' about the color, you might want to rethink it just a little.

One thing I've seen in several wedding gowns of late is a white or ivory gown with scrolls of black embroidery in a couple key spots, such as around the neckline and hem. As much as I truly detest seeing black at weddings aside from tuxedos, I have to say I think some of these gowns are gorgeous and really love them. If you're really married (pun fully intended) to black in your wedding gown but afraid of offending your guy, that might be a compromise you both can live with.

After all, you want to look like the best you possible on your wedding day, but you don't want to horrify the groom. Sometimes a happy medium really is a good way to go.

Answer 6

Show those pictures to your fiancee and tell him straight out. That's the kind of dress I want. If his family is offended by a gown that you pick out, you have bigger problems than wardrobe. Also, make sure your gown fits better than that one does. You're supposed to be able to lace a the corset back all the way up and not be able to see flesh through it.

Answer 7

I think it is pretty, if you like it, then wear it!

You could always show him the dress without you wearing it and see what he says.

Put it in with a bunch of other wedding dresses, show them to him and ask his opinion on each. State that you are only looking at ideas and not in the mood to buy just yet, and you want his opinion on the dress.

That way, when he sees it, you'll know how he'll feel if he says "omg you better not wear this" or "wow this is different but nice"...

Answer 8

That dress is amazing!!!! Where did she find it? Who's the designer? Just dont tell him or anybody else. My gown was fuschia. Not white or cream with pink accents I mean full blown bright pink. And it was gorgeous.

I had the problem as you. My mother-in-law called me tacky and trashy and warned the entire family that the wedding would be a freakshow. Then they came to the wedding and she was incredibly embarrassed because she was wrong. It was stunning. Dont compromise yourself to fit into someone else's mold. You are you. Your fiance loves you for you. Be the girl he fell in love with.

My husband even asked me to please wear white to please his family and I refused. It wasnt me and I look crappy in white (Its so not my color). And on the day, as I walked down the aisle, he said he fell in love with me all over again. It was worth it.

DO IT! The dress is amazing! Dont listen to the nay-sayers on here saying you're trying to look goth or intentionally "weird". Your dress choice is modern, fashionable, so haute couture. Did you know that Sarah Jessica Parker wore a black wedding gown when she married Matthew Broderick? And she is a fashion icon!!! Some people need to crack open a Vogue magazine one day.

PS: My wedding was so non-traditional and full of color. Pink, red, orange, yellow.... we had a bellydancer, thai food and a friend sang jazz and blues for us. People had so much fun, they stayed for like 5 hrs! Be yourself, stand up for you! It will be so worth it.

Answer 9

Why are you asking for our advice? Ask your husband! It's his opinion that should matter most of all. Personally I think the dress could be very pretty and elegant. People tend to not like black when it comes to the bride because it implies mourning (like a funeral) instead of the happiest day of your life. I know black has become alot more popular, however, for bridesmaids.

Answer 10

Your wedding, your gown, your decision.
Just look inside yourself and you will know the
answer to your question.
Are you going to feel a little weird on the day? Is it worth getting this dramatic dress and wondering all day what your new husband is thinking and what family members are thinking? If you are going to stress about it then maybe find a dress without black in it. Black is a colour used for grieving too.....are you going to be greiving anything?
The main thing is that you are going to feel comfortable and stress free in this gown and that you feel it complements your figure and your sense of originality.