My sister is also getting married and my parents think it would be easier to do them both at once since they are paying for them. I want it to be my day. Is that selfish? What should I do?
2007-07-30 12:25:12 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
tell them no, say i want my day and sis needs her own too. you will regret a doule wedding, you need to be the focus. whp cares if you both are getting married, be happy and take control
2007-07-30 12:28:29 · answer #1 · answered by ERICA L 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋
It isn't selfish that you want it to be special, But you must understand the financial burden on your parents to pay for TWO weddings at the same time (YIKES). My boyfriend and I are paying for the whole thing ourselves and we get to have whatever we want (not that it will be very fancy!), but I have also realized that I think that the money spent on wedding stuff seems like a big waste. Sure its important, but its not worth getting so in debt for.
If you don't want to pay for it yourself (then you'd really see first hand why your parents want to save the cash) Then get over it! How lucky you are that you get to share your special day with nearly twice as many guests and a sister! It will be a special day for both of you for years to come and you can look back and think "that was so lovely". also consider sharing the flowers, maybe the reception but having separate times for the vows
2007-07-30 12:50:14 · answer #2 · answered by lovesapples 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's tough- I think both of you are maybe being a little bit selfish. I totally understand that it would make your day less special, but I also understand if they don't have the money to put together two weddings.
If you really want it to be your day, you might have to scale back your wedding plans to a smaller wedding on a different day, maybe with some help from the groom's family.
2007-07-30 12:29:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
could you wait a few months or a year? I do understand you parents' point because weddings are so much money, especially if the weddings are close together. Maybe try to convince you family to have two weddings by reusing as much as you can. try to use the same decorations, but add your colors to it to make it your own. When you go to photographers, florists, bakers, see if you can get a deal since you have two weddings close together. They may agree to give you a repeat business discount. Remind them that every bride wants their own special day. Try to pay for as much as you can, that way your parents don't have as much say in what goes on since they aren't the financial support of it all.
2007-07-30 12:46:02 · answer #4 · answered by LSU_Tiger23 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No...you are not being selfish. A double wedding is dumb.
The biggest reason being both sets of In-laws. If I attended a double wedding and I was on the groom's side, I would feel cheated. Not so much that the bride's family is there, that's normal. But, that I would have to see the other groom's family too.
Say I was related your Fi, I would not mind seeing your family. That's normal. I would have a problem with seeing your Sister's (the other bride's) groom's family
Your parents seem to think your wedding, as well as your sister's is all about YOUR family.
Well, it's not. What about both groom's families and friends.
2007-07-30 12:34:14 · answer #5 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
ask them what half the budget is and tell them you'll have a wedding smaller than that if you can just have it be your and your fiance's day- it's not about the money it's about a day when you are in the spotlight by yourself because you are making your joyous lifetime commitment. You shouldn't be worrying about top billing..and neither should your sister. you want to keep a good relation ship w/ your sister not be her rival- this could get so ugly if you don't like the same design & style of event.
2007-07-30 12:32:26 · answer #6 · answered by barbarian31@sbcglobal.net 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully you are an adult, so if you are planning to get married, you and your man just tell your family what you want your plans to be - and plan the 'single' wedding you want, according to what the two of you can afford. There's nothing selfish about that at all. Just tell your parents, organize with your sister so your dates are at least three months apart, and on you go....
Congrats and good luck!
2007-07-30 16:22:09 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you parents are only willing to pay for one wedding you will have to either accept that you will be having a double wedding or start saving up and pay for it by yourself. Modern times parents aren't required to pay anything at all, it's their money so they can put as many strings as they want to.
Honestly, I don't think you will regret having a double wedding unless your sister and you have completely opposite tastes as far as decorating goes. There will be plenty of attention to go around...but thats just my opinion. You and your fiancee are the only ones who can decide if it is more important to you to have your own day or to get your wedding paid for.
2007-07-30 12:34:53 · answer #8 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your parents are probably thinking forward to their retirement and trying to save money as much as they can. But it doesn't have to be a bad thing, then you and your sister can celebrate your anniversaries with both your husbands and have a lot of fun.
And also it could be for another reason so that all relatives can come at once and don't have to come back for your wedding again.
2007-07-30 12:31:43 · answer #9 · answered by Slavik 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well no it's not selfish but it depends on your financial situation. If your family can afford to have two different weddings, one for you and your sister than go ahead and tell them but if you think that would be inappropriate then I suggest that you have the wedding with your sister.
2007-07-30 12:30:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't blame you I wouldn't want to be married the same day time and place as anyone else, especially my sister! But you can't blame them if they are paying for it. I would try talking to them and offer to pay for it yourself. Maybe they can instead give you some money toward your expenses. I do not think you're being selfish, but you may have to pay for it yourself if you want it your way! Good luck!
2007-07-30 12:34:58 · answer #11 · answered by Reba 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋